Alex39 Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 I'm feeling really depressed. Every year since I was born, even before I was born, my family goes on a vacation together. I look forward to it so much. We haven't gone in many years due to the pandemic, but this year I got all excited that we may go again. I started researching for hours hotels, cars, flights, everything. I'm the one who usually is the travel agent in the family, planning everything to a T, and my family praises me for my travel coordination, as it typically turns our really good. After days and hours upon hours of research I finally present what I think we should do, and my mom is on board and jumps in helping me plan too. My mom and I get so excited and are looking forward to this trip. We tell my dad and he's all on board with our plan. We find a nice three bedroom for rent, great price, location, and amenities. One bedroom for my parents, one for me, and one for my brother and his girlfriend. We decide to invite her too. My brother is in a long distance relationship, has been for one year. I've been having really weird gut feelings about it though. I think his girlfriend is awesome, but she's very young and not a life planner. My brother has a career and a solid lifestyle. For a long time, my brother has been saying she's going to move here to be with him. So thats what we thought. But she hasn't. Then when we ask about it, he says that now he isn't sure where they'll be- maybe here, maybe there,maybe they'll move somewhere else entirely. It makes no sense. My brother has a solid career and she just graduated from college and has no job, and is sitting at home not doing much. Her parents are retiring and going to travel the world for many years. So we are confused why she would want to stay there, because her family won't be there. And why she isn't more motivated to be getting a job, and why she would have my brother give up his lucrative career to move with her, when she doesn't have one at all. My brother flew to visit her 6 times this year. She came 1 time. She was in school, but my brother used every vacation day he had from work to try and see her. I just get this gut feeling that she's never going to move here and their relationship has my brother giving a lot more on his end. Last year her family took my brother on a 12 day vacation with them. It was a great opportunity. So we were so excited that we'd get to take her this year and go on our own family vacation. We ask my brother if he will go. The trip is in 6 months. He says "I don't know" Then he says he doesn't know where he'll be, and he won't go without his girlfriend, and she may not be able to go. They might be moving or buying a house. She may be working and can't take time off. We are really upset that he won't go without her and he doesn't know where he'll be. Guaranteed if her family was taking him jet setting, she and him would be all on board and would drop everything to go,easily, as they did last year, when they both dropped everything to go. I feel like he doesn't care as much about us and loyalty to our family. Trips need to be planned in advance with flights and such. And now he won't commit until the last minute. Now I feel like a loser just going with my parents, when they could just go as a couple. I'm the loser third wheel. I feel like my brother is leaving us hanging. It's so irritating. I asked my brother if his girlfriend is applying for jobs here to be with him. He says no, and that she wants to find housing first, and she doesn't even know where she wants to live. It's all unorganized and constantly changing with no real concrete plans ever made. His girlfriend is just like that. She and my brother always do last minute. I'm very saddened, because everyone was looking forward to our awesome family vacation after many years of not going and it's not so much of a family without my brother. Again,I feel like it's a waste to rent the place we want with only three people. And a lot of money for it with only three people. I want to go so bad, but feel like it's dumb to go with my parents and just me. Like I'm a huge hindrance on them as a couple and me their adult loser daughter who is single and alone. And we are trying to plan boarding and pet sitting for our animals in advance. If my brother doesn't go, then he can watch them. But he won't commit to that or anything. It's putting us in a locked up situation. Moneywise too. We all pitch in money. It makes a huge difference. If he comes, then we all pay less. If he doesn't, we pay more. It's kind of important to know that now, not last minute. We decide a lot of costly things like rentals and flights and cars now. How do we, how do I handle this? Quote Link to comment
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