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Now the healing process starts...but I wonder...


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Okay...my ex told me a week ago that he never wants anything to do with me...he did the break up. We had contact for 3 months after the breakup. This whole time he had mixed feelings. It took me this whole time to understand I need to move on....but it just hurts...how can he just not care about me. He says it is best we don't speak. He feels that he is being pushed. He would get more angry if I was upset and down.

 

I don't understand and I don't think I ever will understand how things went wrong...he said we broke up because of the arguments...which occurred after we broke up...I don't understand. It just makes me feel like it was fault...what did I do wrong. I know that we can't be friends because I still have feelings for him.

 

I only had care for my ex...and to tell you the truth I feel he has a problem with relationships. He has a problem opening up...which was started our arguments. He hasn't had a relationship that has lasted more than 6 months. Should I feel guilty...or should I look at it as something that is his problem?

 

Any advise please or any experiences that can be shared? It is so hard to move on not understanding this whole thing.

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I feel for you hun. I had to go through a similar situation with my ex. We dated for a very long time, and then after we started fighting, we'd break up. After we broke up we'd still talk, and we'd get back together. This happened so many times I lost count, but the final break up was his choice and I wanted to keep trying. I thought it'd be the same as all the other times, that we'd still talk and we'd end up together again. When I called him the next day he said he couldn't talk to me anymore and that we had to have time to heal. I was devestaded at the time, but it was what we needed to stop the cycle of making up and breaking up and all the drama that came with it. After 6 months of NC he called me because he'd found my pictures and been thinking about me. That was two years ago, and to this day we're still great friends! Just have comfort in knowing that it will get easier. Try to occupy your mind with other things (ie going out, making friends, work, whatever keeps ur mind going) and give it time. Maybe someday he will call you again when he's ready and you guys will become good friends like me and my ex! PM me if you ever need to talk, I'll be happy to listen!

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Well, I think No Contact is a good idea, but not for him... For you! Get him out of your life... It takes two people to make a relationship work, and for whatever reasons, this one didnt work out.

 

I know it hurts, and it will for some time, and that's okay... You will most likely never get the answers you want from him, so the best you can do is stop, think, and learn what you can from this.... Then work to get passed it.

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