How to enjoy money

[Confusedperson123]

Hi All,

I have been on 1 rollercoaster ride with my career. I’ve always had influx of money as I was always on commission paid roles and some months I’d be ‘balling’ others I’d be hand to mouth.

I then was unemployed for a long time and of course limited funds very careful with money. I went through such an ugly time I had no confidence I felt like a broke bum I was job hunting for 4 years.

I am now in a good steady long term job. Good salary $4500 a month. I have my own apartment which is a really reasonable price. I pay all my bills. I have my own car. I am settled and self sufficient.
 

I was borrowing money from my mum each month when I was job searching and now I am able to send her the money back each month!

I owed a family member 1 year rent I have paid 50% of it back and in the next 2 months will be able to fully pay them back all in under 6months.

But I don’t know why I still feel ‘broke’ like I can’t enjoy my money.

is it because I still have money to pay back? My mum never ever expected money back but still I feel good that I’m just able to repay her. So Ive never had the ‘debt’ pressure linger over me but I feel it is.

I see colleagues spending money on nice food, clothes, getting nails done etc enjoying their moneY but I still feel like I can’t I feel tight. Or it scares me.

will this change? When I hardly had no money I feel I spent more! Isit cause I was comfortable with being broke? Any advise as I’m starting to feel really unhappy which is so strange.

 

[jul-els]

Money can buy many things and it provides material security, but it can’t buy happiness. That’s because money can only buy things and happiness is not a thing, it’s an emotion, and like all emotions, it ebbs and flows. You have to know what it is that will make you happy before you can pursue it. You may need to do some soul searching to discover what those things are. You’re the only person who can answer the question of what will make you happy. 
 

More specifically to your question, there’s only two things you can do with money, which is spend it or invest it. Finding a balance of those two things that allows you to be comfortable is the best way to enjoy money, imo. Money doesn’t have anything to offer beyond that.

[Jaunty]

How old are you?  How long since this period of financial stability began?  How much of your income are you putting into savings or stable investments for your future?     

It might be very appropriate for you to hold back on frivolous spending.  4 years of job hunting is a long time.  If you get into that situation again you will want to have a solid cushion behind you.   

Just so you know, people who get their nails done etc. are not necessarily feeling any happier than you are right now.   A state of happiness is generally not closely related to spending money on treats.   Lots of people with endless spending money are miserable.  

 

 

 

[Batya33]

Good advice here! I recommend the book Stacked which I think addresses some of your concerns.  I heard about it via a podcast and it was interesting!

[Kwothe28]

It depends. I have a friend, to him if you give him millions it still wouldnt be enough and after a week he would ask for a million more. Some people are just like that with money, cant save, always go in debt with money no matter how much they earn etc. For example, friend does better job now and his girlfriend that he lives with works now too. They still have money issues. Its just that they live a bit better. Have money for more stuff, his girlfriend doesnt cook that much and they buy a lot of stuff(for example frozen pastrys to make in the oven) so spend on that and he spends money on video games. In addition he smokes so he spends a lot on that. 

My point is, no matter how much you earn, there is no point if you arent good with money. If you arent careful enough, your cravings can still take up a lot of it. For example with the car you have additional expenses and fuel cost that you didnt have before. You need to be able to break down your expanses and put some money on the side each month. For example, even when my friend earned more then me, I was still living better and never borrowed money. Because I could rationalize my expanses and still have some money over to go out and go somewhere if I needed it. So now when I have more I can put more money on the side and take it in case I needed it. You have a good job now so you should be able to rationalize it too. Because if you cant, you would always be stuck in the same loop where you have no money.

[Cherylyn]

Pay off all debts and save money every month!  I spend money.  However,  I'm frugal, always look for discounts and saving money every month is a priority.  My husband and I are good at saving money.

Don't be envious of others.  Many of them are in heavy debt with credit card bills every month.  Don't pay attention to others. 

[tattoobunnie]

On 12/3/2022 at 11:25 AM, Confusedperson123 said:

Hi All,

I have been on 1 rollercoaster ride with my career. I’ve always had influx of money as I was always on commission paid roles and some months I’d be ‘balling’ others I’d be hand to mouth.

I then was unemployed for a long time and of course limited funds very careful with money. I went through such an ugly time I had no confidence I felt like a broke bum I was job hunting for 4 years.

I am now in a good steady long term job. Good salary $4500 a month. I have my own apartment which is a really reasonable price. I pay all my bills. I have my own car. I am settled and self sufficient.
 

I was borrowing money from my mum each month when I was job searching and now I am able to send her the money back each month!

I owed a family member 1 year rent I have paid 50% of it back and in the next 2 months will be able to fully pay them back all in under 6months.

But I don’t know why I still feel ‘broke’ like I can’t enjoy my money.

is it because I still have money to pay back? My mum never ever expected money back but still I feel good that I’m just able to repay her. So Ive never had the ‘debt’ pressure linger over me but I feel it is.

I see colleagues spending money on nice food, clothes, getting nails done etc enjoying their moneY but I still feel like I can’t I feel tight. Or it scares me.

will this change? When I hardly had no money I feel I spent more! Isit cause I was comfortable with being broke? Any advise as I’m starting to feel really unhappy which is so strange.

 

Open a separate savings account, and ear mark it for something big like a vacation.  Have 10%  automatically distributed with each paycheck into this account.  And put 5% in an IRA whether from your company, or create a ROTH IRA.  Then, if you are feeling really antsy, put another 10% into an additional savings account with each paycheck.  This way, whatever is leftover, you use towards bills.  And give yourself a $50/week allowance to buy whatever you want, like treating yourself to lunch or dinner.  Just because you see coworkers buying clothes or manicures...who cares.  That's frivilous spending to me.

[Wiseman2]

On 12/3/2022 at 11:25 AM, Confusedperson123 said:

 

I am now in a good steady long term job. . I am settled and self sufficient. Is
 it because I still have money to pay back? 

It's great you are doing better financially. However the number one thing to do is get rid of debt.

The best thing you can do is learn about budget and finances so you don't end up poor again. Debt and poverty tend to be habits. Spending on nonsense and going into default on necessities.

For example you're worried about manicures when you should be talking to a financial advisor and CPA about appropriate savings and retirement plans and tax strategies.

Take some classes and courses in finances, investments, and so on. You'll need to shift your thinking from 'how to waste my money on non-essentials while still in debt' to 'how to make my money grow and take care of necessities before I budget for luxuries'.

 

[lostandhurt]

First off I would say you are enjoying your money.  I can see the pride and relief you feel in being able to repay what you owe as fast as possible.  That is making you feel good right?

Next is the simple fact that you have been in several bad spots financially and even though you are making good money at the moment it isn't making you feel secure and it shouldn't just yet.

 You need an emergency fund (major car repairs, illness, rent) that builds to a point you determine and then just leave it there just in case.  Then look into investing while you have some extra money. This is the perfect time to invest in your future.  All these things will make you feel more secure and will allow you to spend money without fear of being broke one day and owing money again.

 I was raised to be a saver since our family or 6 didn't have a lot of income.  We always went on vacations (simple but fun) and always got gifts and everything we needed growing up but my parents didn't splurge very often.  This ingrained in me and actually helped me over the years but now that I am retired and invested well with very good returns I find myself learning to splurge on myself.  I am generous with friends and family but have a hard time spending money on myself. There is a balance I didn't learn but I am working on it now.  Get some money put away and then learn balance.

 You are doing great so be proud of where you are and feel good about paying everyone back BEFORE you splurge on some niceties for yourself. It is the right thing to do and it will make spending any money on yourself feel so much better.

 Lost   

[boltnrun]

I'm doing better financially today than I ever have. And I still hate to pay more than $15 for an article of clothing lol.

Paying down debt (or paying it off completely) is a great way to build financial security.

Once that's done, give yourself permission to splurge once a week or however often you feel comfortable WITHIN REASON. My friend bought himself an expensive truck on a day when he was feeling down! All that did was send him further into debt. I treat myself to dinner out once a week plus a small item such as a plant or a candle. It's fun without being extravagant and without sending me into debt.