He says we won't ever go on a date

[Superstickyone]

I've been seeing this guy for almost two months and we do things that dating couples would do.  Hiking, walking,movies, dinner.  We make out sometimes as well.

Last night he blurted out "we will never go on a date".  I'm totally confused as I thought that's what we were doing.

I noticed after our 3rd date, he appeared to be in his head a lot, talking about problems with people in his life.  Like rifts he's had with others and how he's tge victim.

I told him right out that I thought we were dating already and he replied "you were mistaken".  I then asked him what he's looking for and he said "I'm not sure".

What does this mean exactly?  I got a very vague answer.  Plus I'm pissed off I may have wasted my time.  He paid for dinners and spent weekends together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[1a1a]

This is valuable information. He doesn’t want to go on a date with you. (Although I’d be with you, you two have been dating. It’s telling he doesn’t want to call it that though). 
 

Throw this one back and keep looking for someone who’s unambiguous. 

[Kwothe28]

48 minutes ago, Superstickyone said:

What does this mean exactly?  I got a very vague answer.

Its not vague at all. To him you are not dating, you are just somebody who he see casually. Like an arrangement where he doesnt want to commit further then that. In a situation like that, yes, you should just walk away. That guy wont give you what you want, if you want a relationship.

Same guy?

 

[smackie9]

When they start complaining that everything is everyone's fault but theirs's, all gloom and doom it's time to run for the frickin hills. It's possible he has Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Don't be sticking around to find out. 

[boltnrun]

Is this the guy who said you smell funny and who is in debt? Or is it table tennis guy?

And his answer wasn't vague at all, it seems pretty clear to me.

Neither one seems like a good prospect anyway. You're probably better off.

[Batya33]

I agree.  Date people, not projects.

[Superstickyone]

This guy is someone else entirely.  I detest wasting my time with men.  Now I have no idea if he was looking for a committed relationship or not.  On our first date he said yes. I don't know what to believe anymore 😕 .

[boltnrun]

Just now, Superstickyone said:

This guy is someone else entirely.  I detest wasting my time with men.  Now I have no idea if he was looking for a committed relationship or not.  On our first date he said yes. I don't know what to believe anymore 😕 .

I would recommend you believe what he told you most recently.

The worst thing you can do is try to convince a man to want to date you. He's not worth the time or effort.

[catfeeder]

3 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

This guy is someone else entirely.  I detest wasting my time with men.  Now I have no idea if he was looking for a committed relationship or not.  On our first date he said yes. I don't know what to believe anymore 😕 .

He just told you what to believe. You were mistaken, he doesn't want to date you.

Speaking only for myself, he'd be history. Especially if you don't like to waste your time.

Head high, he didn't sound like a great prize. You can do better.

[MissCanuck]

3 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

I don't know what to believe anymore 😕 .

Believe that he doesn't want to date you any longer. 

Don't stick around and hope he changes his mind. He won't, and you will wind up hurt again. 

[Capricorn3]

Believe what he told you. You're wasting your time with him. Move on already, the sooner the better. You can do a lot better than this. He's not into you (sorry).

[Cherylyn]

Dump him.  Date only mentally stable men.

[DarkCh0c0]

9 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

, he appeared to be in his head a lot, talking about problems with people in his life.  Like rifts he's had with others and how he's tge victim

Oh honey, that's a red flag for you to run to the hills. Someone with that mentality will never take accountability for their actions nor show initiative to improve in their life.

That aside, believe what he told you and block and delete him everywhere. What a waste of time indeed. He didn't have the decency to even let you know earlier. He just used you for whatever void he needed to fill!

Gosh, you dodged a bullet. Block & delete. Block & delete...

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

This guy is someone else entirely.  I detest wasting my time with men.  Now I have no idea if he was looking for a committed relationship or not.  On our first date he said yes. I don't know what to believe anymore 😕 .

How did you meet? Was it a dating app?

Delete and block him. He is crystal clear that he just wants nebulous hangouts and free therapy. Steer clear of perpetual whiners and victims.

 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

This guy is someone else entirely.  I detest wasting my time with men.  Now I have no idea if he was looking for a committed relationship or not.  On our first date he said yes. I don't know what to believe anymore 😕 .

Believe the feet not the lips -what a person says is important especially if they say they are looking for a potentially serious relationship - but then over a period of time where you pace your dates so it is over a period of time -like once a week maybe twice -then you see by actions whether the actions are consistent with someone trying to get to know you in a way consistent with future potential.