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A little confused


taromilktea
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Me (21F) and a friend of mine (21M) went drinking with a group of people a couple of nights ago.  I drank a bit and it only made me tipsy and more emotional than I usually am. Because of this, I told my friend I was upset with him smoking because I cared for him, but I was unable to express this to him while I was still a little tipsy and it was stuck in my throat. After I sobered up, I was apologizing and crying because I felt bad for being that upset for something I know I don’t have the right to try and change about him. Now this is where it gets a little confusing for me. I don’t know how tipsy he was because he was fine a little before and maybe it hit him a little later. But he pulled me into a hug to comfort me, which is something he never done, even when he was tipsy before. He’s not really a touchy kind of person, so does this show he has trust or is comfortable around me? And later in a car ride home, he was talkative normally and I was asking him if he was okay and he still seemed tipsy but then he thanked me and ended up leaning onto me kinda like a hug for the rest of the ride as well. We pulled up at my place and I asked if he was able to get home and he was and seemed fine, he reached out to shake my hand and pulled me into another hug. Basically, I’m confused because he seemed closer to me and initiated way more physical contact than usual and does things that is unusual of him. I was hoping to confirm some of the feelings in our relationship (platonically) because it is important to me to know how they feel in our friendship. :)) thank you!

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57 minutes ago, taromilktea said:

 in a car ride home, he was talkative normally and I was asking him if he was okay and he still seemed tipsy. I asked if he was able to get home and he was and seemed fine.

Sorry this happened. It would be best to install an Uber app in your phone and never get into a car with someone who has been drinking and appears tipsy.

Also do not get physical with anyone when you've been drinking or they have.

As far as your friendship decide if you would be willing to be FWB or just stay friends.

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49 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. It would be best to install an Uber app in your phone and never get into a car with someone who has been drinking and appears tipsy.

Also do not get physical with anyone when you've been drinking or they have.

As far as your friendship decide if you would be willing to be FWB or just stay friends.

Maybe i forgot to clarify that we are close friends or maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation a little bit. I guess what I'm asking is what he did when he was tipsy is a sign that he trusts me or is more towards just getting physical because of whatever reasons or trying to hint towards something? I don't know, I'm really bad at reading signals from guys.

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29 minutes ago, taromilktea said:

I guess what I'm asking is what he did when he was tipsy is a sign that he trusts me or is more towards just getting physical because of whatever reasons or trying to hint towards something?

The only thing that matters is if you want to date or be FWB with him. Do you have a crush on him? Try not to decipher drunken sloppy behavior. See how it goes when you see him again. Do you two stay in touch via text/social media? Do you go to the same university or work together?

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8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

The only thing that matters is if you want to date or be FWB with him. Do you have a crush on him? Try not to decipher drunken sloppy behavior. See how it goes when you see him again. Do you two stay in touch via text/social media? Do you go to the same university or work together?

 

I wouldn't say that his behavior was sloppy because he was only slightly tipsy, but I'm not sure about my own feelings about him. I enjoy his company and it is easy to talk with him.we work together and we would talk and play games together at night when we're both free.

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Just now, taromilktea said:

I'm not sure about my own feelings about him. we work together and we would talk and play games together at night when we're both free.

Stay friendly co-workers. Avoid messy workplace romances, particularly if you don't even know if you like him that way. Date outside of work and just remain friendly at work.

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3 hours ago, taromilktea said:

Maybe i forgot to clarify that we are close friends or maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation a little bit. I guess what I'm asking is what he did when he was tipsy is a sign that he trusts me or is more towards just getting physical because of whatever reasons or trying to hint towards something? I don't know, I'm really bad at reading signals from guys.

You don't have to read signals. If he is interested in dating then when he is sober he will ask you out on a date he plans in advance.  Right now what you know is your platonic friend hugged you while he was drinking/tipsy.  So you know he is interested in hugging you.  I wouldn't try to analyze this.  If you want to know if he is attracted to you he might be but the great thing is that typically a guy who is interested in dating you and is available to date won't need any analysis at all- he will want you to know he wants to take you on a date.  Then you will know he is interested in taking you on a date.

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