Mixed signals. Does he like me or not?

[vanillakoala]

There's a guy I'm attracted to, and have seen for many months. He's a regular bus driver on my daily route to work, so often I can see him 5 times a week. 

In the last month or two, I began acknowledging him more, smiling at him and saying hello hoping to pick up on small talk. This doesn't go far. 
However, when he's on a bus route on the opposite side of the road (so going a different way) he'll see me and smile. When he's on this route I seem to get the most engagement from him. He always looks at me, visibly checks me out, he often nods his head or winks, and will hold eye contact until the very last second. However, when he's my driver he won't look at me, he looks at the ground or behind me, and when I say "Hi how are you" he'll often just smile or say a small hello. But if he's on another route the next time he'll smile and make eye contact

What's with the mixed signals and how do I proceed with it? I feel like the nature of the job doesn't allow me to chit chat, so I can't really converse well with him, and I'm not sure if he's even interested in pursuing anything and don't want to run into a risk of making things awkward.

[kctiger]

It's difficult for him to do anything overly flirty since he's working. To top that off, he has to pay attention to the road, traffic, etc. since he's responsible for several people's lives. 

Does he like you? Hard to know if he's just being polite, but I'm not sure I've ever winked at a female I wasn't interested in (not sure I've ever winked at one period though). Are you able to see if he's wearing a wedding ring? Unfortunately, due to him being the driver, I don't think he'd make a move. So if you feel like taking a chance, give him your number and ask him to contact you when he's off work. If he never contacts you, or shrugs you off, who cares? At least you took the shot. 

[Wiseman2]

13 minutes ago, vanillakoala said:

I feel like the nature of the job doesn't allow me to chit chat, so I can't really converse well with him.

Even if he likes you there may be rules about talking with passengers too personally.

[Batya33]

He likes making eyes at you. If he wanted to get to know you better and it was permitted he’d do what it took to make that happen.  Either he’s not allowed to or he’s not interested in dating you but he might find you cute to look at. 

[Kwothe28]

Nothing mixed about that. You dont even know his name and everything you said can be just him being polite as its his job. If he wants to get to know you, he probably would.

[SooSad33]

I feel that's part of his job, so be courteous to his passengers.  I don't really pick up anything out of the ordinary with his behaviour & reactions.

I suggest you move on.  This is your bus driver, you see every day, lol.  May not be an idea at all really to see anything more- you don't want to end up having things be too awkward, if you were to try anything with him, other than friendly smile & small talk.

 

[Tiddytok5]

 

He's being friendly and courteous perhaps flirty with no intentions.

 

He's never asked for your number or given you his. 

He could have easily written his number on a piece of paper when he gets home, and could have given it to you the next day as you were boarding or leaving..

 

I doubt he's interested. 

I would advise you to move on.

 

You see him everyday.

What would you do if he rejected you, or go involved with  you somehow  and things just didn't work out???

 

Go out of your way to construct a different daily routine so that you didn't have to see or run into him???

 

 

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, vanillakoala said:

don't want to run into a risk of making things awkward.

Keep in mind many public transport have audio-video surveillance so he's not going to lose his job to flirt with anyone. Even if you have a crush on someone, it's not a good idea to disturb anyone at work.

[catfeeder]

When he's driving your regular route, some of his other passengers are probably also regulars. One of them could cause trouble for him if they notice him getting flirty with one particular passenger.

Most people value their jobs, so if you're waiting for something to come from him, don't hold your breath.

If you want to pass him your number, that's on you.

[MissCanuck]

He doesn't seem overly interested, no. 

I would not bother with him, OP. 

[Wonderstruck]

On 11/22/2022 at 1:22 PM, vanillakoala said:

In the last month or two, I began acknowledging him more, smiling at him and saying hello hoping to pick up on small talk. This doesn't go far. 

Is there a way to stand near the front of the bus, near his seat, so that you could talk to him for your entire commute?

I ask because, on the buses in my city, there is often this little "table-like" section that juts out at the front of the bus, near the front doors, where people can set their bags down and hold onto the railing, so that, if they want to, they could comfortably stand near the front of the bus for the entire ride.

A LOT of people will do this and then spend the entire bus ride talking with the bus driver.

Do you just say smile and say "Hello, how are you?" when you FIRST get on the bus and are showing/swiping your pass/paying with bus tickets/bus fare, or do you actually stay near the front of the bus and try to have a conversation with him as he's driving?

A lot of the bus drivers in my city seem to really enjoy when passengers stay near the front of the bus and talk to them.

HOWEVER, if you actually HAVE tried all of this, and he doesn't do anything to keep the conversation going, then yes, I would agree that he's either not interested in you, has a girlfriend/wife, or is too shy or too concerned with remaining professional to do anything about it. 

[Batya33]

I wouldn’t do this because you don’t know if he’s allowed to be this distracted and then he’s a captive audience and can’t easily ask you to give him space or stop chatting him up. 

[MissCanuck]

I also would not recommend that you try to chat with him while he’s driving. 

You’ve said hello. The rest would be on him if he wants to find a way to chat. If he doesn’t do so, you can assume he’s not interested. 

[boltnrun]

Would you walk up to a doctor while he's performing surgery and try to flirt with him? 

Please do not attempt to distract him while he's performing his job. He is responsible for the safety of every passenger on the bus as well as traffic and pedestrians on the street. If he's distracted by you flirting with him and he runs a red light or doesn't stop for a pedestrian in a crosswalk something really tragic could happen.

If you really want to let him know you're interested in dating him, pass him a note with your social media info or phone number while you're paying your fare.