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I want out of relationship


dave007
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Hi , 

I am 39 years old and i am with my gf 37 , for 8 months. Lately i feel this was a mistake.

First some facts. We are together for 8 months. She has 15 years old boy. I live at her place for six months.

For troubles.

1, her son is lazy and spoiled even call her mom by her name.

2, her mother is disaster. She visits us unannounced and just ti yell at us , we do everything wrong. Also want me out of the house.

3, her female friends are leechees who prey on gf goodness. My gf somehow want help them with anything. It affect my also.

4, her male friends , too much friendly with her a one also come to visit us drunk and demand she go out to drink with him , one call her constantly , 

5, her place is mess , when i try help her to clean it it just last few days , dont get me wrong i am not that type who clean constantly but her mess is too much. Clothes on the ground , two days old food.

6 , she dont want to post any photos where we are together on facebook etc... , when she is with friends she gladly post them. Somehow she keep me secret from her friends.

I,dont know how to go forward , i like being with her but all of this things wear me down and i am in constant stress what happen next. I was thinking it will calm down but it get worse. 

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38 minutes ago, dave007 said:

I am 39 years old and i am with my gf 37 , for 8 months. Lately i feel this was a mistake. We are together for 8 months. She has 15 years old boy. I live at her place for six months.

Sorry this is happening. It sounds like too much too soon if you were dating 8 mos. and you moved into her place 6 mos. ago. Where were you living before?

 Unfortunately you're incompatible and  the best thing you cud do for yourself is move out.

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You obviously knew a lot of this before you moved in with her, yes? Why did you move in together so soon? Do you have experience with teenagers -as a teacher or parental role? Do you know if her son has a diagnosis or needs to be evaluated? Were you just so bowled over by how attractive she was that you made this impulsive decision or did you need a place to crash? 

Yes move out especially because of your hostility towards her child who is still a minor and not able to live on his own.  

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11 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

You obviously knew a lot of this before you moved in with her, yes? Why did you move in together so soon? Do you have experience with teenagers -as a teacher or parental role? Do you know if her son has a diagnosis or needs to be evaluated? Were you just so bowled over by how attractive she was that you made this impulsive decision or did you need a place to crash? 

Yes move out especially because of your hostility towards her child who is still a minor and not able to live on his own.  

I knew few things but it start add up. 

I have no experience with childrens. 

I move to her place just because she have leg injury and i help her out for two months. And i spend there most of my time anyway. After she recover i just stay.  Then her mother start hate us more and more. Like she feel she is not needed. Or she is just bored.

I can talk to her son but i dont like him too much. He rather stay at home and play videogames then go to swimking pool for example with us.

 

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4 minutes ago, dave007 said:

I knew few things but it start add up. 

I have no experience with childrens. 

I move to her place just because she have leg injury and i help her out for two months. And i spend there most of my time anyway. After she recover i just stay.  Then her mother start hate us more and more. Like she feel she is not needed. Or she is just bored.

I can talk to her son but i dont like him too much. He rather stay at home and play videogames then go to swimking pool for example with us.

 

I don't think you are a good person for her son to be around given your judgey comments about him and your lack of experience with teenagers or any children just makes it worse.  My son was criticized loudly by a cashier for crying and fussing while we waited for her to figure out how to do a refund.  My son was 9 months old.  It brought me to tears.  It's just as bad with a teenager and a single mom who is trying to be both mother and father. He doesn't need some guy around who doesn't like him and isn't married to his mom.  

Very thoughtful of you to help care for her given her leg injury.  Now that she's better move out and I wouldn't date her either because you don't seem to respect her either.  It's fine that you two are not a match but please don't subject an adolescent boy to this hostility and negative energy coming from you.  

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No children together and so many issues, why do you stay. If you stay, you have to deal with her son and her mom your entire life. And you dislike so many things about her. Get away before she gets pregnant. You are still young don't ruin your life for the next 40 years by staying, find someone who doesn't have children and more compatible. Find someone who is proud to be with you. Staying single is better than your current situation.

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7 hours ago, dave007 said:

I,dont know how to go forward , i like being with her but all of this things wear me down and i am in constant stress what happen next. I was thinking it will calm down but it get worse.

Oh, you can go forward....

You moved in with some woman way too fast! Without actually trying to get to know her & her lifestyle.  And seems like you don't like much of it.

So, you move back out & learn from all of this.  Never rush into a relationship/moving in with someone this fast!

As for her friends & life, this is just how it is.  You have no control over what she does or whom she deals with.

You realize now, you don't fancy it, then yeah- remove yourself from it.

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I don't know you or your girlfriend of course and you are probably right about some of these things. It seems to me from your post though that either you actually don't even like your girlfriend and/or it might actually be you who is the problem.

I understand if you mentioned one or two things that are an issue in the relationship but you have a long list of basically EVERYTHING being wrong with your girlfriend. You say there's something wrong with her son, her mother, her friends (both male and female), her house. How is it possible that everyone in her life, all her family and friends are bad people? It just sounds to me like you don't like them all and based on that you are actually the common denominator there so maybe it's actually you.

You have actually been living at HER place and this is her whole life. Her son, her mother are her family who will always be there her whole life. All her friends were there before you too.

I understand it's annoying if the mother comes over a lot and she's rude. But you have a problem with all her friends too, not only the male ones. You said you don't like that they call her too much or want to see her too much? Are you actually jealous that she has other people in her life who are not you and she gives them attention?

You are the new person in her life and all the other people were part of her life already. If you don't like them then she can't just get rid of them. So unfortunately you would just have to break up with her so you don't have to see those people.

I understand if you're saying her 15-year-old son is lazy like that he doesn't do his homework or doesn't help in the house. I don't think it's fair to call him lazy though just because he doesn't want to go to the swimming pool with you and he'd rather play video games. He's just a 15-year-old teenager and he obviously enjoys playing video games. I don't think it's surprising he'd rather do that than go out with people who are like 40-year-olds. I'm 37 myself and I would understand why a 15-year-old doesn't want to hang out with me lol

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14 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I don't think you are a good person for her son to be around given your judgey comments about him and your lack of experience with teenagers or any children just makes it worse.  My son was criticized loudly by a cashier for crying and fussing while we waited for her to figure out how to do a refund.  My son was 9 months old.  It brought me to tears.  It's just as bad with a teenager and a single mom who is trying to be both mother and father. He doesn't need some guy around who doesn't like him and isn't married to his mom.  

Very thoughtful of you to help care for her given her leg injury.  Now that she's better move out and I wouldn't date her either because you don't seem to respect her either.  It's fine that you two are not a match but please don't subject an adolescent boy to this hostility and negative energy coming from you.  

Yeah he's 15 and it's like "he's lazy because he played video games and didn't go to the swimming pool". Well maybe he just didn't feel like going to the swimming pool. He's allowed to have his own hobbies and interests.

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