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Questioning my boyfriend’s integrity


sekaishi
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So, basically my boyfriend is friends with his cousin’s boyfriend, they went out with other friends at a nightclub, his friend asked him to not tell his cousin that they went to a night club. And so, he lied to his cousin to cover up for said friend, his cousin eventually found out days later that his boyfriend cheated on her, someone sent her a video of his boyfriend dancing, back-hugging and kissing another girl’s neck.

What I’m really disappointed about is my boyfriend choosing to lie to his cousin about this situation and I am now questioning his integrity but he said that he was too drunk, nodding off and didn’t know that his friend was dancing with a girl, and only lied about not going to the nightclub. 
 

I just really need somene else’s input regardin this situation.

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11 minutes ago, sekaishi said:

 his cousin eventually found out days later that his boyfriend cheated on her, someone sent her a video of his boyfriend dancing, back-hugging and kissing another girl’s neck.

How long have you been dating? How old is he? Why weren't you or the cousin invited? He seems to have a bro-code situation, however that may be to lie to you as well.

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Your BF did it because he thought going to a club was innocent enough. The BF of the cousin is responsible for his own actions, not your BF. If the guy cheated that's between his cousin and them. I would be more concerned about your BF being friends with such a dbag and hanging out with him. 

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Well, I don't know. I agree with @smackie9 that your BF can't be held liable for the cousin's BF's poor behavior. His cousin should rightly be mad at him for lying to her to cover for his friend. 

As far as his integrity, this is a personal issue for you. It seems like you think less of him now, and that your level of trust in him has been reduced. You can either more or less ignore this and continue on in your relationship trusting your boyfriend, or acknowledge that you no longer trust your boyfriend and try to address that with him. Alternatively, you can acknowledge you lost trust in your boyfriend and leave the relationship. If you have not been together for very long, it might be best to just leave, especially if you think your feeling that he lacks integrity will grow with time. 

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Saying that he's drunk and nodding off was a convenient excuse.  The fact that he lied,  was told to lie and he did as he was told,  definitely lacks integrity on all fronts.  Also, the fact that he would go out to a night club while his girlfriend was at home?  There's definitely something wrong with this picture. 

Once a liar,  always a liar.  You can never trust liars.  Liars will lie to you again in the future.  Also, he went to a night club when he either should've been with you or behaved himself by staying home.  He doesn't ring true.  I'd be hurt and disappointed.  He's a waste of your time and energy.

You need to dump him. 

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15 hours ago, sekaishi said:

So, basically my boyfriend is friends with his cousin’s boyfriend, they went out with other friends at a nightclub, his friend asked him to not tell his cousin that they went to a night club. And so, he lied to his cousin to cover up for said friend, his cousin eventually found out days later that his boyfriend cheated on her, someone sent her a video of his boyfriend dancing, back-hugging and kissing another girl’s neck.

What I’m really disappointed about is my boyfriend choosing to lie to his cousin about this situation and I am now questioning his integrity but he said that he was too drunk, nodding off and didn’t know that his friend was dancing with a girl, and only lied about not going to the nightclub. 
 

I just really need somene else’s input regardin this situation.

I have found once I start doubting someone's integrity, it's all but over.  Without respect and trust, it's hard to move forward. This isn't with just guys.  It's friends, family, colleagues... 

You deserve to be surrounded by the best people you can find.  When your gut says he's lying, he's lying. 

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3 hours ago, Lambert said:

I have found once I start doubting someone's integrity, it's all but over.  Without respect and trust, it's hard to move forward. This isn't with just guys.  It's friends, family, colleagues... 

You deserve to be surrounded by the best people you can find.  When your gut says he's lying, he's lying. 

@LambertAbsolutely.  Yes indeed. 

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