Did I scare him off?

[CluelessInFla]

This is my first post... so be gentle

 

Anyway, I met this guy back in March at the university. We started hanging out before/after class at the bar on campus but didn't hang out outside the uni setting. Anyway finally he calls me up one sunday night to go out the following weekend and I agreed. I saw him on thursday and we confirmed our plans. Saturday comes and he doesn't call. Next thursday I saw him and he said he had left his phone in one of his classes and didn't get it until monday... thats one of those excuses that COULD be true... but unlikely.

 

I kind of brushed him off but a week passed and forgot about it and we continued or thursday thing. He asked me out again but our schedules never coincided (lots of family members visiting, work, class, etc). Finally I had a free friday so he was going to come over to my place to watch a movie. Friday comes around and he calls me at 7 saying that he'll be over at my place at 10... then at ten he calls and says he probably won't get out of work until 12 or 1 (he works as a waiter), he's really sorry etc etc... Next week was finals, so I saw him briefly on my way to class and he was friendly enough but we couldn't talk long because we both had to study. Anyway I left on vacation for a week after exams and I haven't heard from him since (3 weeks).

 

Now I know what I would be saying if I were reading this from the outside. Forget him. He's not worth it.... I wonder though if some of my actions might have turned him off. Whenever we got together on thursdays we'd usually be among a group of people and some of the guys from the group would flirt and I flirted back... and I think sometimes I did it to make him jealous (yes a bit immature I know). He started getting the impression that I was a "player" even though I am not (If I were I wouldn't be writing this post). I guess the question is- did I give off the impression that I was a person who plays games? Or is it just him? And for the bonus question: should I call him to ask what happened and if so how should I go about it? If you have gotten this far, thanks for hearing me out.

[Flora]

Do you think it's possible that he is a little nervous about being alone with you? You might try calling him jsut to catch up on things. How finals went...how summer break is going...etc...then casually mention that it's too bad you guys never got the chance to hang out, you were really looking forward to it. Gage is reaction to this question...he may feel intimidated if you are getting a lot of attention from other guys. Especially if you are reciprocating their flirtations.