1st date went good... Really like her but still feel like i got mixed signals. Could use advice

[blacksmith3]

Just now, lostandhurt said:

5 hours is not a good sign. Nobody is that busy and if she has to think that long about saying yes to a slice of pizza and a walk then it would seem she isn't as excited to see you again as you are her.

I hope she isn't playing some game making you wait but it does happen...

If she never responds just leave it and don't send another text, her loss.

Lost

Yup, i'm sure she would have responded by now if it was more "small talk"... I'm not sending another text. 

[lostandhurt]

5 minutes ago, blacksmith3 said:

Yup, i'm sure she would have responded by now if it was more "small talk"... I'm not sending another text. 

Dating would be so much easier if people were kind but honest.

Best of luck with the new girl

Lost

[blacksmith3]

1 minute ago, lostandhurt said:

Dating would be so much easier if people were kind but honest.

Best of luck with the new girl

Lost

Whats funny is thats what she has in her profile... looking for someone kind and honest. 

Thanks, we actually had really great conversations for a week, up until  right before her flight to Europe for a vacation. I told her to text me when she gets back and she said she will. Can't wait to hopefully take her out.

 

 

[blacksmith3]

just an update... She just texted apologizing for delay in response and said that would be nice. 

So i'll probably still end up taking her out when our schedules allow, later in the month.

Gives me time to talk to this other girl a little bit...

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, blacksmith3 said:

just an update... She just texted apologizing for delay in response and said that would be nice. 

So i'll probably still end up taking her out when our schedules allow, later in the month.

Gives me time to talk to this other girl a little bit...

I'd make a time and place right now even in advance - I remember my future husband making a plan two weeks in advance as he was going to be out of town -for our third meeting (first two were platonic catch up dinners- third meeting was vague as to that but certainly planned as a proper date).  Show her you're a step up to the plate guy and you deserve to have a specific plan.  

[blacksmith3]

12 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I'd make a time and place right now even in advance - I remember my future husband making a plan two weeks in advance as he was going to be out of town -for our third meeting (first two were platonic catch up dinners- third meeting was vague as to that but certainly planned as a proper date).  Show her you're a step up to the plate guy and you deserve to have a specific plan.  

All set for 2 weeks from this Saturday.. Pizza and walking the lake.

[lostandhurt]

Options always seem to clear your head don't they?

  How many hours did it take her to respond?

Lost

[blacksmith3]

6 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Options always seem to clear your head don't they?

  How many hours did it take her to respond?

Lost

I forget but probably 8 hours... She texted me late at night and said sorry, she wasn't ignoring me, work was chaotic and said my idea of walking the lake and grabbing a slice would be nice.

Like I said, i'm pretty sure she's got some anxiety and can only handle so many things at once. 

It sucks we can't see each other for two weeks but hopefully the fact her brother is getting married will make her extra excited about starting a relationship and i can use that for momentum.

[Andrina]

3 hours ago, blacksmith3 said:

It sucks we can't see each other for two weeks but hopefully the fact her brother is getting married will make her extra excited about starting a relationship and i can use that for momentum.

You're getting ahead of yourself here. Instead of projecting to the future, enjoy your time with her in the mindset you're enjoying her company for that moment. You don't even know her well enough to know if she's good relationship material for you. Have a realistic wait-and-see attitude. 

[blacksmith3]

On 10/14/2022 at 8:38 AM, Andrina said:

You're getting ahead of yourself here. Instead of projecting to the future, enjoy your time with her in the mindset you're enjoying her company for that moment. You don't even know her well enough to know if she's good relationship material for you. Have a realistic wait-and-see attitude. 

yup, your 100 percent right. There is just some stuff about her/she said that really is exactly when i'm looking for in a partner. So i am a little extra excited then i should be... I'm not the type of guy falls in love with any woman that says hi... 

I will say though, after getting to know her a little more this week....i'm starting to think she has some real bad anxiety. She takes along time to respond, and i think its because she gets nervous about what to say.

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, blacksmith3 said:

yup, your 100 percent right. There is just some stuff about her/she said that really is exactly when i'm looking for in a partner. So i am a little extra excited then i should be... I'm not the type of guy falls in love with any woman that says hi... 

I will say though, after getting to know her a little more this week....i'm starting to think she has some real bad anxiety. She takes along time to respond, and i think its because she gets nervous about what to say.

I'd leave the analysis to her therapist and/or close loved ones.  Just know common sense -people move towards pleasure and away from pain - so assume she doesn't respond because she doesn't feel like responding for whatever reason under the sun.  And when she does feel like it, she does.

[blacksmith3]

9 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I'd leave the analysis to her therapist and/or close loved ones.  Just know common sense -people move towards pleasure and away from pain - so assume she doesn't respond because she doesn't feel like responding for whatever reason under the sun.  And when she does feel like it, she does.

Part of my profession is reading people and knowing how to properly utilize them.. Most of the time, I've get most people figured out in 10 minutes, i'm usually right. 

I don't text her that often either and I don't want to text a lot with someone I don't know, or even with people I love.  But it doesn't mean I shouldn't try and get a good read on someone i'd maybe like to date. I'm sure she has some ideas about me, its just normal.

[Andrina]

Time will reveal all. Just have a must-have and dealbreaker list clear in your mind and stick to it during any dating situation. Don't let your heart override your brain. The two must be in sync.

Assumptions are just that--the unknown/guesses.  Grasping for straws to make a person's iffy behavior more satisfying in your mind is foolhardy. That happens a lot in the honeymoon stage.

You will know that a relationship is right for you when you are satisfied and feel as though you are getting as much as you're giving, versus most of the time being upset, anxious, frustrated, and angry.

[blacksmith3]

8 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Time will reveal all. Just have a must-have and dealbreaker list clear in your mind and stick to it during any dating situation. Don't let your heart override your brain. The two must be in sync.

Assumptions are just that--the unknown/guesses.  Grasping for straws to make a person's iffy behavior more satisfying in your mind is foolhardy. That happens a lot in the honeymoon stage.

You will know that a relationship is right for you when you are satisfied and feel as though you are getting as much as you're giving, versus most of the time being upset, anxious, frustrated, and angry.

Yup, I have a dealbreaker list and i'm sticking to it. I don't have time for any drama, or for someone who doesn't help improve my life and me improve theirs. 

[Whirling D]

Any updates with how things have been going, Blacksmith?