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dating someone in my office... is it okay?


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I should start off by explaining that we're both 25 years old and in an office of only 25 people. We only met a month ago and moved to a new city for this job. I've never dated anyone from within a work environment before because it always seemed like it might be difficult to keep things professional. After work, a group of us decided to go out for drinks and we spent the night getting to know each other. I figured out that I really enjoy his company. We begin spending time together after work for a few days and one night the group decides to go out again. This time, he reaches to hold my hand under the table (granted, this was after one too many drinks). I want to explore something, but I'm afraid of it being awkward in the workplace if things don't work out. I've been single for years now, so I also can't tell if I'm reading too much into his behavior thinking the attraction might be mutual. Please advise!

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26 minutes ago, cherryblossoms said:

We only met a month ago and moved to a new city for this job. This time, he reaches to hold my hand under the table (granted, this was after one too many drinks). 

Well you don't know each other well enough to know if he's just the office wolf who likes to come on to drunk women hoping to get lucky. You're vulnerable because you're new, lonely and in a new city. Slow down. 

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Don’t sleep with him and keep your feelings in check for now. Your job is more important atm, it’s what keeps a roof over your head and food on the table. If your company has written policies, read through it to see if they have one about dating coworkers. If you are clear to do so just slow your roll and take you time to get to know him. Best of luck, hope everything works out for you. 

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I agree, it's risky.  Is this a gamble you're willing to take? 

Should the relationship falter and fail,  it will be awkward indeed and now you're stuck seeing him everyday at the workplace which will make you very uncomfortable, irritated and stressed.  Know the consequences. 

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2 hours ago, cherryblossoms said:

I should start off by explaining that we're both 25 years old and in an office of only 25 people. We only met a month ago and moved to a new city for this job. I've never dated anyone from within a work environment before because it always seemed like it might be difficult to keep things professional. After work, a group of us decided to go out for drinks and we spent the night getting to know each other. I figured out that I really enjoy his company. We begin spending time together after work for a few days and one night the group decides to go out again. This time, he reaches to hold my hand under the table (granted, this was after one too many drinks). I want to explore something, but I'm afraid of it being awkward in the workplace if things don't work out. I've been single for years now, so I also can't tell if I'm reading too much into his behavior thinking the attraction might be mutual. Please advise!

When my husband and I were in our late 20s we originally met at work and dated.  But we didn't work together, worked on separate floors of a big company so it was ok. I wouldn't date someone I worked closely with unless there were already plans for one of you to leave the company.

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2 hours ago, cherryblossoms said:

I'm afraid of it being awkward in the workplace if things don't work out. I've been single for years now, so I also can't tell if I'm reading too much into his behavior thinking the attraction might be mutual.

Yeah.. don't.

Last thing you need is complications in your work environment.  Keep it professional.

Just tell him you do not want to be involved with co workers.  He best leave you be.

 

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I dunno, for him seems like an "office hookup" situation rather then dating. Spending time after work, drinking, touching etc...

If he is interested he would get your number and try to take you at the real date (do they even allow dating on your work place? I know some places dont). Like this, he seems to want a hookup. You said "dating" so dunno if hookup would be OK to you. 

Anyway, yes, it is very risky. Mostly because, if things go astray, you still have to look at that person almost every day at work. It gets very ankward. At least with people who you dont work and see every day, you have a luxury of, you know, not seeing them after you break up. Like this, you have to see somebody who you probably wont like at all when you break up. So, assess if you even want to risk that much.

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I can only speak for myself. If I viewed a job as important enough to move to a new city, I'd be invested enough to cultivate a reputation for good judgment.

If you believe that your coworkers can't read your secret vibe, especially with someone juvenile enough to cop handzies under the table, then you're kinda fooling yourself.

Do you want to be taken seriously on the job? If it wouldn't bother you to be dismissed as a junior who's more interested in the company's dating pool, then you have your answer.

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