I need my friendship 2 work...but dont know how!

[tinababe]

hey everyone....i have a little story

 

so....my best friend....lets call her Sally....and her ex boyfriend...lets call him Bob....went out twice and got back 2gether once. They broke up for real....bobs choice in like..january! btw...bob broke up with her the first time 2 and then asked her out agen....they were both each other's firsts so it was pretty special.....now @ school....we r all happy friends...including some others besides just them and meTHANK GOD 4 THAT! however...occasionally well do sumthing and it ends up just being the 3 of us. WEIRD! Y? CUZ THEY STILL ACT LIKE THEY R GOING OUT! and they rnt....and idk..some days he acts like it...so then she acts like it....or vice versa! but that dusnt really matter! bcuz every1 is pretty much getting annoyed with how much they....r like they r...basically! neways....2day example...just the 3 of us....and...its 1 of those things where sally tells me she dusnt like him and she ses..."ya...well he tried 2 kiss me agen wen i went to his house...but seriously..he needs 2 get over it cuz im not gunna b like that anymore!" bcuz...previously...she went 2 his house and they were alone...like..in his room..or outside or sumthing....and they wud start making out....and yah...friends were there...and they wud feel a lil uncomfortable so theyd leave and wen id ask her about it she was like...we just wanted 2 scare u guys! YA...RIGHT! and she tells me how much she dusnt like him...and then tells me that she does and she isnt gunna lie...and so its kinda like she contradicts herself....and wenever shes around him...she like...tries 2 impress him...but then tells me she isnt. She ask him questions and tlak with him and stuff which in her own little world dusnt mean nething....or mayb it dus and she just tells me it dusnt....but its TOTALLY FLIRTING AND EXACTLY HOW SHE ACTED WEN THEY WERE GOING OUT! and sumtimes....bob talks with me about it...like..."ya...so i guess im calling sally while i walk home alone 2nite"....i was like..."ohhh...y?" he was like..."idk....she just told me too"...like that kind of stuff....and....alrite..lets get 2 the point!

 

2day..we went out 2 lunch and i didnt have a purse but i had my books and my wallet, my phone...and my ice cream that i just bought....i was going 2 sit downa nd they were like...no lets walk...ok...well i can carry my books and put my fone in my pocket but hey sally...can u put my wallet in her HUMUNGUS purse! she goes "no...i dont have room" i go...."ya u do...its huge"...she goes...."i cant even put my sweater in it" i say..."a wallet is a lil smaller than a sweater"..."no...im not gunna carry ur crap!" i go "fine.......then ill sit and u guys can go nd walk!" she yells "FINE!" so......then i catch up with them later...and they r sitting on the floor and we were hanging out with sum other ppl by then thank god! and bob was like...im gunna go buy some candy...sally wanna come.....sally ses...ok...but u gotta help me up! im her best friend and she wudnt go newhere with me...and i guarentee u that she wud have just sat there with me and helped eatmy ice cream but bcuz bob was there...she didnt...bcuz bob was there...she dusnt have a mind of her own nemore....becuz bob is there....shes gunna be Mrs. brat...and its not fair! ive talked 2 her about this...and we end up fighting...i think its cuz imw ording it wrong...and then she ses sumthing 2 defend herself and i dont no wut 2 say....i really need help.....ive been keeping htis in 4 a while and im starting 2 really lose it...and i dont want 2 lose this friendship...school is almost ending...im having an after school party and i dont want things 2 end badly...im just sick of seeing 2 sides of her...the flirting side when she flirts with her ex bf nonstop..trying 2 b and act seductive...anda brat 2 ne1 else there.....and the best friend in the world wen its just us...i miss that...a lot....andlike...wen they were going out...i felt a little left out...but i understood cuz she had a boyfriend...but now...she dusnt...and i still feel left out...even more so than when she did have a boyfriend....i dont know if im overreacting but a little advice woudnt hurt! thanks and sry it was such a long post

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I'm not sure I see where the annoyance is coming from. Their relationship and the nature thereof is between those two. Let them sort it out the best they can; support your friend no matter what she decides. It is her life after all.

 

I have a feeling like he is acting like that because he wants to continue getting sex from her, but nothing else. Know what I mean?

 

Good luck,

Sheila

[tinababe]

im annoyed bcuz wenever im around them....she isnt herself and ends up treating me like crap! this whole scenario has been going on 4 the last 6 months...and im starting 2 feel a little upset that she keeps treating me this way. Its like....when its just her and me...im cool 2 hang with...but then...wen bob is there....its all about him...and its not even the fact that i dont get attention from her...its the rude comments im sick of...and wen i try 2 tell her how i feel...she just makes excuses 4 herself and denies everything....i just....talking dusnt seem 2 help....i guess...my story was a little long and it was diffficult 2 catch the part that needed advice....but wut i need is a way to communicate with her 2 get her 2 stop treating me like crap....i want her 2 treat me nicely even if bob is there....y is it that she has 2 interact with me differently cuz hes there....y dus it matter....were all best friends...its not like she can b embarrassed about it...she just dusnt care! and i cant make her care..but im hoping it is just that she dusnt understand...

[TheSmilingTurnip]

This person is busy trying to make herself look good for someone who is really just a creep.

 

Here's a potential dialogue:

 

"Hey Mary, we've been friends for a long time now. You know I'm very close to you and your friendship is really important to me. I noticed, though, that when Bob is around, and I know you don't mean to do this, that you make little nasty ribs at me and that makes me feel pretty bad. Because our friendship is important to me, this needs to stop, because I can't be around someone who is treating me this way."

 

I know you want to be friends with her. But it's not feeling very good to be getting put down by her, is it? Friendships should add to your life, not detract from it. Don't be afraid to put it on the line and let her know you're not going to put up with this. Good luck!