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My situation. How do I gain strength.


Zenon1267
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I’m 26, just got dumped, truck driver/business owner. I’m away from home a lot and my ex ended things two weeks ago. 
 

im upset because idk what to do. I don’t have the ability to hang out with my friends or see my family and I have can’t go home because I’m building my business and I have bills to pay. 
 

I miss my ex as she was the only person I spoke to while out on the road. Im taking the break up very hard and I feel like giving up. I miss her and there’s nothing I can do to get her back.  
 

im scared of her moving on which I know she will. Im above everything scared of the loneliness that comes from her leaving and my field of work. It’s hard dating in this field and I need some guidance on how I can get by.
 

My plan was gonna be run hard for 6 months then step back and start enjoying myself more. Now that my ex is gone I feel like I need to go home more, I worry about dating and stuff because I feel like I’m gonna get left behind. All I can do is think and think because I’m just stuck in this truck. It’s killing me and it’s so hard not calling my ex.

i started lexapro today cause I’m extremely anxious and depressed to the point where I can’t sleep and I’m just so scared of these next few months. Any kind words/advice?
 

 

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2 minutes ago, Zenon1267 said:

It’s hard dating in this field and I need some guidance on how I can get by.
My plan was gonna be run hard for 6 months then step back and start enjoying myself more.

i started lexapro today cause I’m extremely anxious and depressed to the point where I can’t sleep and I’m just so scared of these next few months.

Sorry this is happening. You're doing all the right things. While someone who travels for a living may have some challenges with dating, you seem like a caring hard working guy and that's a real plus.

The loneliness on the road is hard but join some groups/clubs/social media online and make some chat buddies for the road. When you're home reflect and think about how to date with your schedule.

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I wonder if there's a dating site specifically for people who are on the road a lot. I'm willing to bet there are a lot of women who are struggling to meet people just like you are.

Ok, I found Date a Nomad and TourBar.

As for the loneliness and temptation to contact your ex, remember she chose to remove herself from your life. So she doesn't get the benefit of your attention anymore.

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Heard there is a good money to be made in a trucker industry in USA. I know some guys that made it quite well. But its a hard life. You practically sleep in truck, shower and eat on the road etc. Its not really a job for somebody who is dating. Its more for people that already settled and have families and need to earn money for them. And even then its difficult. Because you see your family once in a few days usually. 

Anyway, focusing on work is maybe a good thing now. You will think less about your ex and even maybe earn more money in meantime. In time you will meet somebody else and move on. For now, just get over this.

Also, is your cheating situation something from "the road"? Somebody that you met casually on the road? 

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12 minutes ago, Zenon1267 said:

But the loneliness can very very difficult sometimes.
 

This is what you have to learn to live with and overcome. 

Being lonely at times in life is very difficult. Sometimes it's beyond your control and you have to ride it out.

Your unwillingness to be alone, to search for quick fixes and band aids will lead you to make bad choices.

If being a trucker is too lonely a life, maybe that needs to change. if you choose to change it, It will take time. unless you up and quit.  So maybe look at what you can do to change now.

Learning to enjoy your own company is probably not going to happen, while being stuck alone with your thoughts in your truck,for long periods,   Can you take some time off to be at home more? 

There's two things at play here... the short term need to get out of your head and the long term need to eventually be OK alone- even if that means you are with someone. meaning, you can't be so afraid of being alone, you chose poorly. 

Hope that makes sense. 

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@boltnrunI didn’t have sex with anyone. I texted a girl on Facebook and it went from there. Never turned into an actual meetup ended up blocking her then two weeks later my ex found out. 
 

Still cheating I know. I’m just trying to stay focused on my business. I know she’s not coming back honestly we aren’t meant to be together. This is kinda an outlet for me.
 

I hope she’s happy with whatever she does. I just miss her company and stuff.
 

 

 

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@Kwothe28No not from the road, no lot lizards or anything like that. All just from messaging. 
 

Im making some good money I hope to expand soon. If I could be ok with the loneliness I could really be successful.

I don’t plan on staying on the road for more than a year. Hopefully six months. Just seems so daunting imagining being gone for that amount of time.

I want to be rich and give my all to someone. It’s my dream.

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Do you have friends who’d be up for the odd phone call? And when you’re stopped somewhere check meet up and see if you can catch anything in your area. Also when you’re stopped, have a crack at writing letters to friends/family. 
 

In between that I recommend podcasts for the long stretches on the road, and audio books. Darknet Diaries is a great podcast, if you don’t listen to any other episodes at least listen to ep 39. Truly strange, extraordinary and sad story.  

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8 hours ago, Zenon1267 said:


I hope she’s happy with whatever she does. I just miss her company and stuff.
 

That happens. What were the chances you weren’t cut out for one another either way? Someone else caught your fancy on social media and you ran with it with a girlfriend back home. 

Don’t give up your dreams so easily. I second Lambert’s post. Read and reread it when you’re afraid or lonely on the road. Deep breaths. Learn to enjoy the quiet and live in the moment. Be ok on your own. Keep on trucking.

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