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Is a diamond important to you?


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4 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

I'll go against the grain here, for me personally, yes, my fiance now husband knew I wanted a diamond engagement ring.  It was 1/2 ct. and years later, we upgraded the solitaire to 1 ct. in a white gold setting.  My accompanying wedding band has little diamonds on it.  It's a very pretty, understated yet elegant set.  I love it and it's still in mint condition with nary a scuff nor scratch on them.  I baby my rings! 😊

My husband's white gold wedding band has 4 tiny diamonds encrusted in it at an angle.  Each tiny diamond represents the four of us in our family of sons.  Unfortunately, he accidentally lost his first plain wedding band while playing baseball with our sons.  He tucked it into his pocket and we couldn't locate it after that.  Hence, we have since replaced it with the 4 tiny diamond ring which was my design.  Nowadays,  he gives me his wedding band for mowing the lawn, car repairs and the like.  I store it for safekeeping in my velvet lined jewelry box. 

I only wear my engagement and wedding rings for going out to restaurants and anytime I can be very gentle with my rings.  My rings never get scratched nor banged up. 

For local errands, I wear my cheap Walmart glass stone ring.  I am ring-less at my house. 

Fortunately, our rings did not cost a king's ransom.  My friend is a jeweler and gave us a huge discount plus wholesale.  It was affordable back then.  I realize it's not affordable nowadays though. 

My mother-in-law only wears her engagement ring to go out to dinner other than that she just wears a simple plain band. Her engagement ring though is very vintage. It is like this . 

19E083E8-5104-4416-BFCB-41C8638473D8.jpeg

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1 minute ago, Lambert said:

I have always prefer a better quality husband over the quality of a ring. 

What does a ring matter in the real scheme of things? 

I have both.  Lucky me 😊  I feel very blessed indeed. 

I agree the ring doesn't matter but I like pretty things whether it's our ring sets which we've had forever, my pretty handbags, I like clothes, shoes and I like to go to the hair salon.  I figure I work hard for it so why not?  🤗

Sadly, my FIL (father-in-law) passed away recently so my husband has been wearing his late father's mint condition, very chic shirts and new shoes which MIL bought from her regular shopping sprees at Nordstrom.  We can't afford to shop there but she can.  He's been wearing FIL's collection of fine wristwatches, too.  All of them are in brand new condition. 

Everyone spends their hard money in other ways.  We're not the ones to frequent movie theaters and haven't been to a movie theater in 13 years.  We don't eat out often, we cook a lot at home, we don't take long road trips nor exhausting vacations.  We remain local as there is a lot to do in my area with lakes, expansive parks numerous miles long and wide.  In those regards, we're frugal.  We don't pay tickets for entertainment nor spend money on going out in public frequently unlike my in-laws and some relatives.  However, we crank up the A/C during hot weather whereas my well off friends prefer to swelter in their houses than pay the electric bill.  It all evens out plus we're able to save considerably every month. 

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4 hours ago, tattoobunnie said:

Since my hubs has never gotten me jewelry ever, or even tried, the first thing I look at is a woman's hand, to check out their rock (diamond).  I am so beyond envious - anniversary diamond bands, engagement rings, diamond rings.  I will have to wait for my mom's passing which could be like decades from now for her beautiful, beautiful engagement ring.  I have huge rubies and emeralds, but I love the sparkle in that BLING. But, there is no way I am spending money on a diamond ring (🤣)

So, in short, yes...if the person you are buying for wants one, then yes.  I would honestly ask what they prefer.  My hubs would never think to ask me or look for one, so I think it's more of an effort thing too.

Tattoo!!!

 

Girl! Have you hinted? This just won’t do! 
 

Wishing you your very own personal Marilyn moment comes! 

 

x

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2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

My mother-in-law only wears her engagement ring to go out to dinner other than that she just wears a simple plain band. Her engagement ring though is very vintage. It is like this . 

19E083E8-5104-4416-BFCB-41C8638473D8.jpeg

Thanks for sharing this Seraphim this is a delightful JUICY RING! How unusual! It could be found on the finger of an Elvin Woodland Princess! I love the break from the norm here!

 

I understand people keeping their rings for best, I really do! But I think Seraphim, maybe you share a similar sentiment with me, that the ring firstly above anything else represents your marriage and Union and love, so to take it off is like saying, the bond is broken! I realise that sounds dramatic! (I am, a little dramatic 🤣)!

 

But the ring to me serves as a daily reminder of our love and that day! So I wear it always, no matter what! It was slipped on my finger the day we bought it and it has never, ever come off! I glance down at it all the time, every day, over and over m! It gives me the warmest feeling, because it brings back all those memories we’ve shared together! I wash in it, garden in it, change nappies in it! Everything. Swim, go for walks, play with the kids in the sand on the beach! For how thin and delicate it is, it’s stayed put and looks just the same (to me anyway although I know technically it won’t be!) as the day we got it! 
 

I often wonder about the woman who had it before me as well. What her hopes and dreams were? What type of wedding she had? What her life was like? I suppose some people might find that creepy but, I really like the idea of it. Maybe one day, when I’m dead and gone and it eventually comes off my finger, I can pass it to one of my daughters, or maybe someone else can wear it; and the cycle can repeat? Who knows! 

 

Anyway, mine isn’t precious and expensive in a monetary sense but, it is priceless to me just through sentiment. 
 

I have heard of a trend where women update their wedding bands, upgrade, for a more expensive ring, and replace it for their old ones their young penniless husbands might have slaved to buy them. That to me seems… so un-romantic and mercenary! But then again, they think well, we are better off so I can get the ring I always wanted now. Bye bye old one! Oh nooooo I think! If I became a multi multi millionaire I would still be wearing the one I have on this left hand without a shadow of a doubt! 
 

Sorry @LikeWater, my waffle has definitely not answered any question! LOL! 
 

X

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27 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Thanks for sharing this Seraphim this is a delightful JUICY RING! How unusual! It could be found on the finger of an Elvin Woodland Princess! I love the break from the norm here!

 

I understand people keeping their rings for best, I really do! But I think Seraphim, maybe you share a similar sentiment with me, that the ring firstly above anything else represents your marriage and Union and love, so to take it off is like saying, the bond is broken! I realise that sounds dramatic! (I am, a little dramatic 🤣)!

 

But the ring to me serves as a daily reminder of our love and that day! So I wear it always, no matter what! It was slipped on my finger the day we bought it and it has never, ever come off! I glance down at it all the time, every day, over and over m! It gives me the warmest feeling, because it brings back all those memories we’ve shared together! I wash in it, garden in it, change nappies in it! Everything. Swim, go for walks, play with the kids in the sand on the beach! For how thin and delicate it is, it’s stayed put and looks just the same (to me anyway although I know technically it won’t be!) as the day we got it! 
 

I often wonder about the woman who had it before me as well. What her hopes and dreams were? What type of wedding she had? What her life was like? I suppose some people might find that creepy but, I really like the idea of it. Maybe one day, when I’m dead and gone and it eventually comes off my finger, I can pass it to one of my daughters, or maybe someone else can wear it; and the cycle can repeat? Who knows! 

 

Anyway, mine isn’t precious and expensive in a monetary sense but, it is priceless to me just through sentiment. 
 

I have heard of a trend where women update their wedding bands, upgrade, for a more expensive ring, and replace it for their old ones their young penniless husbands might have slaved to buy them. That to me seems… so un-romantic and mercenary! But then again, they think well, we are better off so I can get the ring I always wanted now. Bye bye old one! Oh nooooo I think! If I became a multi multi millionaire I would still be wearing the one I have on this left hand without a shadow of a doubt! 
 

Sorry @LikeWater, my waffle has definitely not answered any question! LOL! 
 

X

Hahahaha I am a romantic dramatic too and wear my ring as a union. I wish I had my original one it was so precious because of the sentiment. 

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1 hour ago, LikeWater said:

That's okay lolita, I'm just enjoying the variety of responses.  The only thing I will bring up is the whole 'blood diamonds' thing?  Do you care?  Should you care?

Hey LikeWater!

 

Well thank you for being chill with my off shooting 🤓🤓🤓

 

Are you thinking of proposing?

 

If a girl is bothered about ethics like that, I think you would know. People are normally quite vocal about things like that. Have you ever known a secret, silent vegan? Need I say more?! 🤪

 

If I may, this is another argument for antique. What’s been done has been done. No use in destroying it. If it was mined unethically 100 years ago, we can’t turn back that clock. We can try to stop it now, but that antique object came from an era when times were different. And also, it is very environmentally friendly! You are re-using, you are re-purposing! No new resources are being utilised to make it, it already exists, so hardly any further environmental impact! Also, you are keeping history alive! Because, craftsmanship was generally all round better then! And you can get amazing quality diamonds, and gold, much cheaper antique! 
 

But I actually don’t care too much about that… well, those were not my reasons for choosing an antique ring at all. Just some nice bi-products of having something second hand or passed down. I like antiques because I am romantic (bit like Seraphim I am guessing!) and I romanticise the past! I think things were made better then. Older buildings - wow. Now you can’t find someone to put some grouting on your bathroom tiles! 
 

But honestly Water, I so think it depends on the girl. If you have someone who adores bling, okay, an obvious diamond is maybe a no brainier! If you have a mystical type of babe on your hands, maybe she would prefer something more unusual? If you have a traditionalist, a romantic - maybe something antique, or set in a traditional way or style. Some women love yellow or pink diamonds - they are very girlie. Maybe they like the exotic? Honestly, I don’t want to be a bore, but I really think it depends on the lovely lady! What her tastes are!

 

I mean, for an engagement ring, the safe bet is a diamond, of course it is. Traditional, usual - expected. You can’t go far wrong. Other wild card options really depend on ya gal! 
 

I want to know if you are planning an engagement here! 😍

 

x

 

 

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38 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Hahahaha I am a romantic dramatic too and wear my ring as a union. I wish I had my original one it was so precious because of the sentiment. 

I feel for you Seraphim! 
 

I would be so upset too! I have become totally attached to it! My boy once asked me, “Why do you wear that ring Mammy?” And I said “Well long before you were born, Mammy and Daddy fell in love, and he asked me to marry him and live with him. And this ring he gave me. It means we love each other and have promised to stay together forever.”

 

It seemed so final to explain it like that to a 4 year old. Just saying it out loud like that in simple terms made it seem so weighty - and so important. It really made me realise those vows we took, I took them so seriously, and the ring is a symbol of those vows. A reminder. 
 

He didn’t say anything else! I think that explained it enough for one day! 😅🥹🤣

 

Oh wait, I tell a lie! He then turned to his sister and said he would marry her! Now, that makes things complicated! 🤣 Another talk for another day! 
 

x

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1 hour ago, LikeWater said:

The only thing I will bring up is the whole 'blood diamonds' thing?  Do you care?  Should you care?

Exploitation and abuses of people certainly make my blood boil, but I'm not out to shame anyone for enjoying their stones.

I guess learning about this only gave me one more reason not to desire diamonds. 

Excesses of others don't bother me, I don't exactly notice them, but an embarrassment of riches is something I'd prefer to share than wear.

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When I upgraded my engagement ring for a slightly larger solitaire diamond (from 1/2 ct. to 1 ct.),  the jeweler made a custom 1/2 ct. diamond solitaire pendant necklace from my original engagement ring so I wear that sometimes for going out to dinner and the like.  It's all in good taste and not overly flashy.  It is understated elegance.

If we're ever out of town, my jewelry is gingerly wrapped and stored at our local bank's safety deposit box for security and safekeeping.

Then there is my sister.  ☹️  I recently noticed that she and her husband upgraded and bought the most gaudy engagement and wedding band set encrusted with huge "rocks" and twisted metal.  It was straight out of a very bad dream. 🙄 It looked hideously tacky and cheap.  Her godawful rings represent the jerk whom she married.  😡

 

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I just can't place value on rocks lol. 

My kids have given me inexpensive costume jewelry. They made me necklaces out of macaroni in preschool. My husband wrote me love poems. All of those things have far more value to me than some polished up rock.

I passed by lots of rocks during my walk this evening. I don't see why any of them should be less valuable than a diamond.

Anyway, that's just how I feel. I realize I'm in the minority.

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2 hours ago, mylolita said:

Hey LikeWater!

 

Well thank you for being chill with my off shooting 🤓🤓🤓

 

Are you thinking of proposing?

 

If a girl is bothered about ethics like that, I think you would know. People are normally quite vocal about things like that. Have you ever known a secret, silent vegan? Need I say more?! 🤪

 

If I may, this is another argument for antique. What’s been done has been done. No use in destroying it. If it was mined unethically 100 years ago, we can’t turn back that clock. We can try to stop it now, but that antique object came from an era when times were different. And also, it is very environmentally friendly! You are re-using, you are re-purposing! No new resources are being utilised to make it, it already exists, so hardly any further environmental impact! Also, you are keeping history alive! Because, craftsmanship was generally all round better then! And you can get amazing quality diamonds, and gold, much cheaper antique! 
 

But I actually don’t care too much about that… well, those were not my reasons for choosing an antique ring at all. Just some nice bi-products of having something second hand or passed down. I like antiques because I am romantic (bit like Seraphim I am guessing!) and I romanticise the past! I think things were made better then. Older buildings - wow. Now you can’t find someone to put some grouting on your bathroom tiles! 
 

But honestly Water, I so think it depends on the girl. If you have someone who adores bling, okay, an obvious diamond is maybe a no brainier! If you have a mystical type of babe on your hands, maybe she would prefer something more unusual? If you have a traditionalist, a romantic - maybe something antique, or set in a traditional way or style. Some women love yellow or pink diamonds - they are very girlie. Maybe they like the exotic? Honestly, I don’t want to be a bore, but I really think it depends on the lovely lady! What her tastes are!

 

I mean, for an engagement ring, the safe bet is a diamond, of course it is. Traditional, usual - expected. You can’t go far wrong. Other wild card options really depend on ya gal! 
 

I want to know if you are planning an engagement here! 😍

 

x

 

 

Hehe, I actually find it a little humorous how little you know about me.  I used to be the butt of so much drama here, not so much anymore though.

To your question, no, not getting engaged and I don't like the concept of marriage.  Part of the reason I started this topic is that most diamonds are unethically obtained and unethically sold.  I also just generally wanted to know why is the atrraction towards diamonds so higher than other gem stones.  Diamonds aren't even the rarest gemstone, funny enough.

But society has attached itself to this one rock and I wanted people to opinionate on it.  

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I respect other people's opinions and choices.  I just know what I like and don't like.  In many ways, I'm a traditionalist.  My engagement ring and wedding band set are very tasteful, chic, pretty, understated, elegant and sparkly unlike my sister's godawful, very gaudy rocks which looks as if someone designed the set blindfolded.  ☹️  Note, when I saw her tacky rings, I merely said, "Oh, you have new rings!"   I left it at that.  I dare not compliment otherwise it would've been a lie.  🙄

As mentioned,  I'm ring-less at my house.  For local errands, I wear my glass stone ring bought from Walmart.  I only wear the engagement ring and wedding band set for dinners out with my husband or any special occasion when I can be very gentle with the rings and maintain them in mint condition with nary a scratch nor scuff on them.  Whenever I'm not wearing them, it is carefully stored in my velvet lined jewelry box which my husband gifted to me on our first wedding anniversary.  If I wind it up,  the music box in the jewelry box plays music from our wedding day.  ❤️

 

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5 hours ago, LikeWater said:

Hehe, I actually find it a little humorous how little you know about me.  I used to be the butt of so much drama here, not so much anymore though.

To your question, no, not getting engaged and I don't like the concept of marriage.  Part of the reason I started this topic is that most diamonds are unethically obtained and unethically sold.  I also just generally wanted to know why is the atrraction towards diamonds so higher than other gem stones.  Diamonds aren't even the rarest gemstone, funny enough.

But society has attached itself to this one rock and I wanted people to opinionate on it.  

Well Water! 🤣 I apologise I don’t know how big of a celebrity you are within ENA! 😉😘

 

When did you say you joined again? And if this is drama darling, you need to push the boat out! You are slacking in your old age! 😉🤣

 

I have heard the unethical argument for modern diamonds! African slave labour and chemicals used is it? I know absolutely nothing about it so in all honesty Water, I would love you to tell me more! I really know nothing about it and it is definitely not the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word diamond!

 

And you are not speaking fondly of the institution of marriage! This is always very interesting and curious too me! Although I am a traditional kinda girl, I love to hear the alternative! So in a totally genuine way, if you want to give your side of it - please do! I would love to hear! 
 

And yes! They have! Maybe it’s the reflective sparkle? Maybe once it was the hardest to get and most precious? I’m just guessing! Something gains popularity and fashion and that’s it it seems! We have it forever in the psyche! Diamonds are without a doubt aspirational. Like a luxury car or a home in a great affluent area, people do aspire to diamonds. Diamond encrusted makes us think - oooo! Okay now you’re not playin’! Ha! 
 

Well! Because mine is antique I think I have passed the ethical test without knowing it 🤓 Hopefully 🤣🤣 I don’t wear any other jewellery! I like a nice watch! Nothing insane though, we aren’t talking Rolex’s (although the vintage market for older Rolex watches has gone through the roof I see in the jewellery section at auction houses!). Not bothered about bags. I like a nice belt. I’m a sucker for knitwear actually, nerdy and strange as that is. If my husband wants to impress me with something special, a cashmere sweater is perfect! That or, he always gets me my favourite potpourri which is Santa Maria Novella. I love their perfume as well. 
 

But y’know, for Christmas and things like that, we spend £50 on each other max. The rest is on the kids. My engagement ring was £250, the slimmest gold band with a single solitaire diamond. I’ll never take it off until the day I die, It’s not about showy things. The hubby bought me a car once when I passed my test, it was a really nice one for a first car. But that was a spur of the moment thing, not an anniversary or Birthday. He has got me some of the most “extravagant” things at random, never on actual set occasions when you would expect to get presents! But, people talk of love languages and gifts aren’t actually my scene. I love getting flowers though! He will just leave a bouquet of flowers on the hall table for me a couple of times a month. That’s his style, there is no, here you are darling! Or the kids come trotting you after being out with him and they are holding an box of chocolates that he has gone and got for me with them! Just the little things.

 

All women are different. But honestly, I never thought about how jewellery is made or diamonds mined! My friend, her father owned a gold mine in Jamaica, until he sold up and moved to America. He has passed now but, I am good friends with his daughter who is actually 67 now! I’m 32 so we make a good pair I think! 
 

What would you think if a woman surprised you with… a fancy car? Or a fancy watch? 
 

x

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17 minutes ago, LikeWater said:

I'm not a celebrity here lol, just continue the topic.

To your last question, my girl should know by that point that I'm not materialistic and I'd view it as a huge waste of money.  A cool T-Shirt would make me much happier, or anything more from the heart and not about it's monetary value.

This is exactly how my husband feels! He gets really embarrassed and doesn’t like gifts! 
 

x

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1 hour ago, mylolita said:

This is exactly how my husband feels! He gets really embarrassed and doesn’t like gifts! 
 

x

I can't tell if you're doing it intentionally, but you're missing the mark on every point.  Gifts are fine, luxuriously over the top gifts I hate.  I don't know why you tried to compare me to your husband.

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47 minutes ago, LikeWater said:

I can't tell if you're doing it intentionally, but you're missing the mark on every point.  Gifts are fine, luxuriously over the top gifts I hate.  I don't know why you tried to compare me to your husband.

Afterthought for discussion I guess - I was presuming you might be like that if you like low key things. I find often men don’t like receiving gifts, they are more into the giving. Maybe it is an evolutionary thing, Y’know, bringing home the bacon or the meat shall we say.

 

Obviously most people like a thoughtful gift most! Whatever that means to them!

 

Some women obviously wouldn’t thank you for a diamond from the response on this thread - some women had heard of the unethical nature, some just don’t care for them. 

 

But! You also ignored my question! What makes diamonds unethical? I have heard it said but never looked into why - interested in your opinion on it. Is it just certain diamonds from certain areas of the world? How could you check? Would the jewellers even know? Would they even tell you is the main thing! After all, they just want you to buy their product, right?

 

Anyone to shed light on this for me - it’s interesting. I know lately there is a big movement from my generation and below to look into where things came from, as a moral obligation. For example, we all I am sure know our iPhones are absolutely unethical and made using slave child labour and toxic chemicals for the environment. But so many of us own them, or Apple products, including me!

 

Sometimes I think, who would you trust to even tell you? Google? Would you try call up the mine yourself? (When we got marble and quartzite for our kitchen, you could go to the factory, speak with the people at the mine who carved it out somewhere in Italy or wherever… it was, local and transparent, apparently!) But that wasn’t the reason why I liked it! I just liked it because it looked nice, which is why probably so many women like diamonds - status and, oooo! Shiny! And traditional. 
 

Apologies if I presumed because you’re low key on gifts you are maybe also like my husband who doesn’t like receiving them much. Just a general observation. Ooooo I am banned now! 
 

If we have to stick rigidly to the topic and rules of original line of questioning I am afraid I am out of the whole of ENA! 
 

Would love your response on unethical diamonds, I am genuinely interested - I could Google it but enjoy others perspectives. 
 

Apart from that question I’ll bow out of this thread! Nice and interesting opinions! Looks like every woman is so different, but I think, we all know that, don’t we 😉

 

x

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@mylolita

It's because diamonds come from mine fields whereby workers are underpaid and working in dangerous conditions. The mines have been causes for local wars/bloody fights and clashes between communities. Usually, the black/asian people mine and the westerners takes the profits as well.

It's a long story, but I can add that Mica, the shiny sparkle in our makeup, is also unethically sourced with Asians dying under ground just to get it. Same as clothes from big brands, ect.

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I'm the way I am because I grew up with nothing.  My late alcoholic, wife beater father never had a stable occupation to save his life.  My childhood home was in such shambles that I dare not invite my friends to play due to shame, embarrassment and humiliation. 

One night after my baby brother and I were asleep, my father left us without saying good-bye!  He paid nary a penny of child support so my mother worked 3 jobs 7 days a week while my abusive grandmother "took care" of us meaning she slept all day.  My brother went mad without a diaper change and milk as he was stuck in his sweaty crib all day.  When she was awake, she wasn't home for many hours with my brother in a stroller minus a diaper bag and bottles.  She walked very far and came home so late.  I was locked out of the house without dinner and there I was sitting on the front porch at 9PM at night!  It was cold.  She finally came home and when I snitched to my mother, my grandmother beat me.  My mother sent my grandmother packing.

We bought our clothes from a used clothing store.  I often went without lunch at school.  I was a scrawny, disheveled child.  My mother drove a jalopy which was so embarrassing that I didn't want my neighbors and friends to see me in it.  😔

When my parents separated, I was sent up north to spend several weeks with my cousin and her family.  They were broke as a joke.  My uncle bathed first, next my aunt, then my cousin and lastly I bathed in everyone's dirt.  They did this to save gas and water.  Their tiny apartment was freezing cold because they never turned on the heat!  🥶 

Then my father moved back home because one mortgage was cheaper than paying rent for him and mortgage for my mother.  Then all hell broke loose all over again.  We were in horrible debt.  It's $450K in today's money.  Miraculously, my mother paid it all back and never filed for bankruptcy.    She raised three children all by herself without help from anyone.  She still resides in my childhood house. 

I worked full time night shift while enrolled in school by day.  Then I switched to my day shift job, toiled and ascended in my career.  Fast forward.   I met my husband and we have two great sons.  So yes, my engagement ring, our wedding bands, cars, moving up several houses over the course of years, residing in my manicured neighborhood and enjoying a comfortable life is important to me and us.  We aren't in debt, pay our bills on time, save money every month, live well and it's the life I had always wanted very BADLY.  I like bags, clothes, shoes, nice wristwatches (not Rolex!), visits to the hair salon and making up for my painfully lost childhood.  Better late than never.

Different strokes for different folks.  😊

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