ONS - Pregnancy

[gamon]

19 minutes ago, RKO said:

Yea I get this, she is definitely unhinged the way she is acting at the minute, pregnancy or no pregnancy

Well you gotta admit she's got a lot going on in her life at the moment, self inflicted or otherwise, it cannot be easy for her.

 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, RKO said:

she said that's all she's offering and compromising on so now I have to live with that decision for the rest of my life.

her reply "I don't care, you are of no concern to me"

So you're the one pushing for this? Is that why she insisted you pay for it?  Stop just stop.

You're not listening. She can get whatever tests she wants but she has to get a court order for your DNA. 

Knock off the relationship talk. You're really driving a lot of nails in your own coffin.

[RKO]

14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

So you're the one pushing for this? Is that why she insisted you pay for it?  Stop just stop.

You're not listening. She can get whatever tests she wants but she has to get a court order for your DNA. 

Knock off the relationship talk. You're really driving a lot of nails in your own coffin.

No you have misunderstood, when I said other day I want a paternity test at birth before anything.

now she’s only offering one now that’s very expensive, not legally binding and her not paying a penny.

As mentioned before, I’m totally done with her, she’s super aggressive, childish and just not a nice person. I dont want anything to do with her 

[Wiseman2]

13 minutes ago, RKO said:

I said other day I want a paternity test at birth before anything

So you are pushing for paternity testing then. Stop it. Yes, leave her alone.  Block/delete. If they subpoena you for a DNA sample, they'll mail it to you. Otherwise have nothing to do with this woman.

[RKO]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

So you are pushing for paternity testing then. Stop it. Yes, leave her alone.  Block/delete. If they subpoena you for a DNA sample, they'll mail it to you. Otherwise have nothing to do with this woman.

I mentioned it once after advice on here (think it was you) and from my mum

[Kwothe28]

19 minutes ago, RKO said:

As mentioned before, I’m totally done with her, she’s super aggressive, childish and just not a nice person. I dont want anything to do with her 

Yeah, I think you should have thought about that before you humped her and possibly made her a baby. And not after when you have to deal with a consequences of that.

So now its an issue that she actually wants a test? Shocker from somebody that just wants to "cope" how he is not the daddy. It was you who suggested the test in the first place lol. 

Also I dunno about you, but if I were you I would like to know sooner rather then later. You think its not yours so there is your chance to prove that and be done with it. But alas, if it proves to be yours that means you would actually have consequences. Instead of just "coping" how it maybe isnt yours. I mean either you and her can request it later, court ordered and everything. Neither can refuse. So you have that option. But you are probably hoping she would let it go lol

[DarkCh0c0]

I agree with @Kwothe28

What if you do the test for yourself just to confirm if this is your baby?

You go online, fill the forms, pay, and then get the official results to both of you.

If the child is not yours, you cut her out of your life completely. If it is, you'll have some planning/thinking to do on what you actually are ready to give to the child.

It might not be legally binding, but it will give you the results/peace of mind you need. Something to consider.

[RKO]

6 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Yeah, I think you should have thought about that before you humped her and possibly made her a baby. And not after when you have to deal with a consequences of that.

So now its an issue that she actually wants a test? Shocker from somebody that just wants to "cope" how he is not the daddy. It was you who suggested the test in the first place lol. 

Also I dunno about you, but if I were you I would like to know sooner rather then later. You think its not yours so there is your chance to prove that and be done with it. But alas, if it proves to be yours that means you would actually have consequences. Instead of just "coping" how it maybe isnt yours. I mean either you and her can request it later, court ordered and everything. Neither can refuse. So you have that option. But you are probably hoping she would let it go lol

You make it sound like I forced sex on her, like she didn’t know what was happening? Quit this sexist view and stop trying to put all blame on me here.

 

also, again, you cherry pick my comments to suit your agenda. You are of little help to me on this thread, you don’t offer advice so I won’t be responding to any more of your comments from this point on.

[RKO]

5 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

I agree with @Kwothe28

What if you do the test for yourself just to confirm if this is your baby?

You go online, fill the forms, pay, and then get the official results to both of you.

If the child is not yours, you cut her out of your life completely. If it is, you'll have some planning/thinking to do on what you actually are ready to give to the child.

It might not be legally binding, but it will give you the results/peace of mind you need. Something to consider.

1: I can’t afford it, the price is ridiculous, 

2: Result is irrelevant for her, she can demand another one through court

3: Test is done at home. Easy to fix result

4: Not legally binding

 

[boltnrun]

Can you get through the next 28-ish weeks without becoming despondent and suicidal? Can you lean a bit on your mom and your friends for emotional support? Can you plan to put away some money in case you need it to respond to a court case in case she files one? And in case it turns out the child is yours?

I personally would want to know ASAP, but if you can wait 6 months to know for sure then that's certainly an option.

[DarkCh0c0]

@RKOthanks for clarifying.

I agree then with what @boltnrunsaid.

[RKO]

19 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Can you get through the next 28-ish weeks without becoming despondent and suicidal? Can you lean a bit on your mom and your friends for emotional support? Can you plan to put away some money in case you need it to respond to a court case in case she files one? And in case it turns out the child is yours?

I personally would want to know ASAP, but if you can wait 6 months to know for sure then that's certainly an option.

Yes I think so, well pretty certain I can, todays fallout from the message left me a bit angry and teary but not as bad as what it would have been without support.

of course I would like to know but as @Wiseman2says, that’s up to her to prove paternity and there’s no way I am going to go hungry and cold pay paying them prices for a test that doesn’t mean much

[Wiseman2]

14 minutes ago, RKO said:

that’s up to her to prove paternity and there’s no way I am going to go hungry and cold pay paying them prices for a test that doesn’t mean much

Exactly. Do not let anyone tell you You need to prove paternity or pay for her tests. If. Huge If you get a subpoena for your DNA sample you may be required to pay for that.

If she is stupid enough to drag however many men she slept with in that ~3 week period to court for paternity testing, that's her problem. I sense she is not even sure.

[RKO]

10 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Exactly. Do not let anyone tell you You need to prove paternity or pay for her tests. If. Huge If you get a subpoena for your DNA sample you may be required to pay for that.

If she is stupid enough to drag however many men she slept with in that ~3 week period to court for paternity testing, that's her problem. I sense she is not even sure.

Yes I will have to pay then, but it’s nowhere near the cost now, also legally binding, so if It says I’m not the father she can’t keep coming after me, like she would be able to now

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, RKO said:

 she can’t keep coming after me, like she would be able to now

She can not "come after you" for anything now.  You need to delete and block her and if she can prove you're the father, she can pursue child support on behalf of the child. Until that time, best to assume you have no idea (and she may not either).

Don't work yourself into a tizzy. Do not have prenatal paternity testing, then she'll start expecting you to buy cribs, hang out, send sonos, pick names, come to the birth and all the stuff you stated you do not want.

Some people may assume you want to be a single father as much as she wants to be a single mother, but that is just not true, so watch out for traps about "early"  paternity tests.

[RKO]

13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

She can not "come after you" for anything now.  You need to delete and block her and if she can prove you're the father, she can pursue child support on behalf of the child. Until that time, best to assume you have no idea (and she may not either).

Don't work yourself into a tizzy. Do not have prenatal paternity testing, then she'll start expecting you to buy cribs, hang out, send sonos, pick names, come to the birth and all the stuff you stated you do not want.

Some people may assume you want to be a single father as much as she wants to be a single mother, but that is just not true, so watch out for traps about "early"  paternity tests.

Indeed, I do t want anything to do with her, I think the feeling is mutual now too which I have no complaints over.

I really want to block her off my social media, I hate the idea of her spying on me. I just know that could cause all sorts of added hassle and drama

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, RKO said:

You make it sound like I forced sex on her, like she didn’t know what was happening? Quit this sexist view and stop trying to put all blame on me here.

 

Sexist view lol. You do know I am a guy? Are you suggesting I hate my own gender? Worst of all, are you suggesting its somehow sexist to think how both of you are responsible for sex and how its on the guy too? Because, oh boy, do I have a news for you. You willingly humped her so yes, now you are dealing with consequences of that. Just because you are trying to avoid consequences, claim how she is not nice and turn your eyes blind doesnt mean they arent there.

Also, again, to me it says a lot that you suggested the test. And now trying to get out of it. Worst of all claim she will somehow fix it(or are you trying to get away from that too?). Just because you need to "cope" how its not yours a little longer. Because you cant deal with that. You were hoping she wont ask for you. Then when she refused the test you were hoping it isnt yours. But now after she agreed to test now you are claiming how you dont have a money for test and how she will fix it so you want to wait legally binding if it happens. Again, just an endless ammount of "cope". Designed for you to think how you are not the daddy. Yeah, if she decides to go after you, your "cope" wont help you there. You are just delaying it. That is why I think you should have taken her to test offer. So you could actually know if you are out in the clear or you would have a baby with somebody. But again, you would rather "cope" its first.

Also I did gave you advice. Just because you would rather listen to advices that suggest that you avoid her unless she asks for paternity later down the line, doesnt mean mine or somebody else advice are bad. If you want to cope a little longer how that baby is maybe not yours, be my guest. Just telling you how it is. Because those consequences are there. You blocking her wont erase that baby. Or your involvment if she decides to go after you. Sorry that you didnt like what I had to say. That is OK, lots of posters dont sometimes. I am fine with that. But its still something that you need to hear. 

[gamon]

4 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

 Sorry that you didnt like what I had to say. That is OK, lots of posters dont sometimes. I am fine with that. But its still something that you need to hear. 

He doesn't need to hear your advice, all you're doing is badgering him, your so-called "advice" is not the least bit helpful.

 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, RKO said:

Indeed, I do t want anything to do with her, I think the feeling is mutual now too which I have no complaints over.

I really want to block her off my social media, I hate the idea of her spying on me. I just know that could cause all sorts of added hassle and drama

Definitely before she starts posting crap about you and the preganacy.>> 🤰💞😍👶

Delete and block her AND ALL her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Why bother being "friends" after this debacle?

[gamon]

6 minutes ago, RKO said:

Indeed, I do t want anything to do with her, I think the feeling is mutual now too which I have no complaints over.

I really want to block her off my social media, I hate the idea of her spying on me. I just know that could cause all sorts of added hassle and drama

I'd block her everywhere and focus on anything else until and unless conditions change and there's something that needs to be addressed.

 

[RKO]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Definitely before she starts posting crap about you and the preganacy.>> 🤰💞😍👶

Delete and block her AND ALL her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Why bother being "friends" after this debacle?

That’s where things get awkward thanks to me being genuine friends with some of her friends etc.

I can’t delete my social media either as I need it for work 

[Wiseman2]

Just now, RKO said:

That’s where things get awkward thanks to me being genuine friends with some of her friends etc.

I can’t delete my social media either as I need it for work 

Ok mute her or whatever alternative to her creeping your social media there is.

[Kwothe28]

Just now, gamon said:

He doesn't need to hear your advice, all you're doing is badgering him, your so-called "advice" is not the least bit helpful.

 

Sorry, its still something he needs to hear. Just because he would rather hear something that suits his ears, doesnt mean he doesnt need to hear different opinion. Also, the threads on the Forum are not here just for OP. Lots of other people find the thread and just read it. 

[boltnrun]

You are not required to have anyone on your PERSONAL social media.

Some of my closest loved ones are not connected to me on social media. No one threw a tizzy fit or demanded I add them. Social media is not real life. It's literally words and images on an electronic screen.

[Batya33]

Sorry if this was already answered - I understand it's not legally binding - my question is , is this test as accurate as a post birth test? (I figured maybe that's why it's not legally binding?). I would hate for it to be done and a false positive -- or inconclusive.