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My wife has a new male single friend and I’m concerned


Tom961
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On 8/28/2022 at 12:28 PM, MissCanuck said:

Why does it need to be alone? 

 

Exactly!  ^^^ That, to me, is a red flag.  I really would not put up with this nonsense.  That is inappropriate and I don't blame you at all for feeling uncomfortable, stressed, worried, etc.  Sorry to say but your wife needs to set boundaries, and she should realise that this is clearly inappropriate.  I am sorry that she put you in this odd situation but it shows me that she is disrespectful, insensitive and inconsiderate towards you.  Sorry, but it's how I see it.

Also, I also blame this guy for being so crass.  He knows (hopefully) that your wife is a married woman and, still, he meets her outside work??  You need to calmly tell her that you are uncomfortable with this friendship with this guy.  It's gone too far, on both parts.  There is no reason for them to be so chummy chummy.  There are respectful ways to have a friendship with a coworker and their way is inappropriate.  

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1 minute ago, goddess said:

Exactly!  ^^^ That, to me, is a red flag.  I really would not put up with this nonsense.  That is inappropriate and I don't blame you at all for feeling uncomfortable, stressed, worried, etc.  Sorry to say but your wife needs to set boundaries, and she should realise that this is clearly inappropriate.  I am sorry that she put you in this odd situation but it shows me that she is disrespectful, insensitive and inconsiderate towards you.  Sorry, but it's how I see it.

Also, I also blame this guy for being so crass.  He knows (hopefully) that your wife is a married woman and, still, he meets her outside work??  You need to calmly tell her that you are uncomfortable with this friendship with this guy.  It's gone too far, on both parts.  And, who knows if it will progress further?  There is no reason for them to be so chummy chummy.  There are respectful ways to have a friendship with a coworker and their way is inappropriate.  

 

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25 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

28 replies and 2 days later and no OP, interesting...

People come here for help but don't engage in the process.  Always makes me wonder about how genuine it is.

Lost

I think they post on multiple forums and then forget where they posted.

Others are hoping for very specific responses and disappear if they don't get them.

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I'm more 'old school' regarding friendships outside marriage.  I have female friends and mere male acquaintances in my life.  My husband has male friends and female acquaintance friends.  We have no qualms regarding what other couples prefer and their various arrangements.  We have our ironclad comfort zone and it's been this way permanently.  We've gone out to lunch with colleagues of the opposite gender and it was fine.   However, this is as far as it goes. 

As for you, it's not a matter of trust.  This is a matter of lack of mutual respect for one another.  She knows you don't like what she does yet she does it anyway regardless of your feelings.  She lacks empathy and truly does not care what you think.  Your wife acts as if she's still single and carefree.  Both of you need to see a psychologist or couples counseling because your marriage to her is abnormal.  Your wife seems very immature and selfish.  She really needs to grow up and practice common sense.

I doubt your wife would acquiesce if you became very cozy with a beautiful, young lady, spent a lot of time with her, went to her house and treated her as if she's your special girlfriend. 

Fix your marriage or make your exit so your soon to be ex-wife can have the new man in her life all to her heart's content. 

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4 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

People come here for help but don't engage in the process.  Always makes me wonder about how genuine it is.

 

True. I would love an update on this. For example did wife ended up going and what happened.

Though, there is no rules when it comes to "trolish" posts. Sometimes more engaging OP is there is a chance its a troll. They closed double account threads today. Some person pretended that its a guy on one account and girl on the other. Engaged and write more too.

Also, the thing I learned on a local Forum(more broad one than this) that I visited years ago: Even if OP is not genuine, the thread is. Somebody else who has the same problem can find a thread in the future and look answers. So its not a wasted advice.

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2 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Also, the thing I learned on a local Forum(more broad one than this) that I visited years ago: Even if OP is not genuine, the thread is. Somebody else who has the same problem can find a thread in the future and look answers. So its not a wasted advice.

I agree with this, I actually learned so much on here from just reading.

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1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

Though, there is no rules when it comes to "trolish" posts. Sometimes more engaging OP is there is a chance its a troll. They closed double account threads today. Some person pretended that its a guy on one account and girl on the other. Engaged and write more too.

Also, the thing I learned on a local Forum(more broad one than this) that I visited years ago: Even if OP is not genuine, the thread is. Somebody else who has the same problem can find a thread in the future and look answers. So its not a wasted advice.

Agree. I would like to know why all these ghost members keep updating their profile photos🤷‍♂️🤔

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Well I usually wait if the  thread seems not right and then do some checking.  The OP has been on at least twice since the thread was posted and as recent as 5 hours ago.

 Hard to help anyone when they won't engage or answer some very good questions that were asked of him. 

If they are just hoping for validation or permission to bring it up with their SO then it is kind of a waste but I agree it could very well help someone else that happens to search for the topic or stumbles across this thread.  Heck that is how I found this place when I needed help all those years ago.

  Lost

PS I don't go on reddit but from what I have seen there are a lot of bogus stories on there where people are trying to get a rise out of people or see how many reposts they can get.  Kinda sad...

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