what's your opinion about guys who approche you in public?

[MrsWise]

Today, I had a random guy asked me for my number while he was on red light. I was caught off guard so I said I'm not single even though I am..so now part of me regrets not taking his number. what are chances of them asking random numbers from girls in public?

[gsxr104]

I've never seen this happen perse, but I did give a girl a rose that I didn't know. I know it's not the same but you ask  what are the chances of guys randomly asking girls for numbers. I would say they're pretty good. I think the percentages drop significantly if we want to know if it's more of an exclusive act. Not saying that it wasn't, it could've been ( and maybe it was ).

It's difficult to gauge strangers and their motives so you may have dodged a bullet or perhaps missed an opportunity to make a good friend, who knows. The main thing to me is that you completed your journey home and are able to write about it. 

[Rose Mosse]

It depends on how it’s done. It classier if he just asks if you’re interested in going for coffee or dinner. 

If someone had pulled up like that asking for my number I’d have given a local pizza joint.

[Alex39]

2 hours ago, MrsWise said:

Today, I had a random guy asked me for my number while he was on red light. I was caught off guard so I said I'm not single even though I am..so now part of me regrets not taking his number. what are chances of them asking random numbers from girls in public?

I have done the same. I think it's a gut reaction to clam up and refuse. 

At a red light is a bit odd. If it was at a bar or social hangout spot,you should jump on it. At a red light in your car is a bit sketchy

[Kwothe28]

I think that guy watched too much pick up artists lol. And think you are OK with not giving somebody who didnt even introduce himself your number. If he started an actual conversation then asked, maybe. But this is just weird.

[poorlittlefish]

If this guy is asking for your number at a traffic light then I imagine he's doing it all over the place.  That's not the sort of person I'd trust.  He's purely going by looks and knows absolutely nothing about you.  Rather than asking for your number, he could have given you his and left it for you to decide if you wanted to respond.  

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, MrsWise said:

 part of me regrets not taking his number. 

Sleazeballs. Why bother? Not only is it unsafe to hand out your number to turds like this, what could it possibly lead to? Just ignore idiots like this in the future.

[Batya33]

I would not interact with a person who behaved this way.  My family and I were in Europe last month on a long bus ride to a historical site.  Two guys got on and had been drinking.  Maybe 20s-30s.  I was sitting alone and my husband and son across the aisle.  I was minding my own business.  One started asking if I was dutch (no we were not in the Netherlands LOL) and I ignored him.  He talked to me again and flirted with a woman a few rows back.  Somehow he hacked into our phones (via wifi on the bus) and called us even the next day (we blocked all calls).  Point is this person who "approached" you in the way he did could have been up to no good like this guy.

Approach in public can be totally fine.  It's contextual.  I chatted with my seatmate for a few hours on a flight -a guy - and turned out he was a famous singer/rock star lol.  I chatted with a man while waiting at the gate at an airport and we discovered we knew people in common and his wife was a politician I was familiar with -but she wasn't there.

I've met men in "public" places but I would never respond to a man just coming up and asking for my number even at a planned event -or a woman for that matter. That's inappropriate and weird unless it's an established networking event where people come specifically to chat for a minute then exchange contact info.  

I think approaching for dating purposes works much much better in an environment where it's expected -whether it's a dinner party or the playroom at a museum where parents gather with their kids - yes, I met a man this way -not for romantic purposes -but we started chatting -his wife was home unwell - and our kids played together for hours, we walked around the museum together and we exchanged contact info. 

But -when I contacted what I did was message his wife on Facebook, tell her how I'd met her husband and son, and suggested we all get together again.  That is what I mean - people who want others to be comfortable and do their utmost not to give off a weird or inappropriate impression take extra steps and forethought before communicating or contacting. 

Truth was I ended up having tons more in common with her husband than her but my priority was behaving appropriately.  A man who approaches a woman in public how you described likely missed that day in kindergarten when basic manners were taught.  I've rambled but I feel strongly about these sorts of things. 

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, MrsWise said:

Today, I had a random guy asked me for my number while he was on red light. I was caught off guard so I said I'm not single even though I am..so now part of me regrets not taking his number. what are chances of them asking random numbers from girls in public?

Also you have no idea why he wanted your number -perhaps to share it with his business, spam you with sales calls, etc and please don't give information to strangers about your marital status.  A woman once approached me at a supermarket in the evening.  I was exhausted, doing a quick shopping after work -and I was in my 9th month.  She said "can I ask you a personal question -what month are you in?" I turned to her, and simply and directly said "that's my personal business" and walked away.  No need to respond to strangers!

[Lambert]

I would not give my number to a random guy at a traffic light. 

Sure it might be flattering to have someone do such a bold act based on how beautiful I am 😉 

But ... I think doing this is says something about this guy and it's not good. 

Now if you were on the street and got to talking somehow, that's the classic meet cute ... but honk honk, what's your number? no. 

People are too weird these days.  You need some screening process before giving your number.  Don't regret it. You did the right thing. You don't know who or what you were inviting into your life. 

Since you are single and have some interest in meeting someone, why not get on a dating app?

[Batya33]

26 minutes ago, Lambert said:

Sure it might be flattering to have someone do such a bold act based on how beautiful I am 😉 

I personally would not be flattered at all.  Even if the stranger did do it based on what I looked like.  I was flattered once when I was listening to this awesome 70s dance song with headphones in walking down the street when this car is near me playing the same song and realized I was listening to it too and gave me like a thumbs up and a huge smile -that was a really fun interaction!!

[lostandhurt]

More times than not jerks are the boldest and don't care so I doubt you missed out on a good guy.

Think about it.  He doesn't know what you really look like, your body type or anything and the same goes for you about him.

 He is using the shotgun approach. Take a shot at anything that moves and the odds are sooner or later he will have success.

  There are a lot of strange people out there so just looking at this from a safety standpoint it was wise not to give out your number.

 Next time if you are intrigued ask for his number and block your number when you invite him out for coffee. 

Lost

[metalfantom]

It only works if you're good-looking. 

[waffle]

No other conversation other than "what's your number?"

He's either desperate or he's hoping you are.

[SooSad33]

Well, he just did that with you, didn't he?  Then it shows he does it 😉 .

I don't like that.. it's kinda creepy.  You know nothing of him, nor did you meet up anywhere with intent.

I had some guy do this years ago at a bar ( and yah was with my bf), lol.  I never called him..

Avoid.

[MrsWise]

Thank you guys for your response. The reason why I felt a pang of regret was I might have an opportunity passed me by. I figured I could have taken his number instead. Then used a texting up to text him so I can venture him out and if he turns out to be a *** then it's easy to cut contact from there. But my natural reflex at the time was to lie about my material status in the moment. would you think there was reason for that?

our exchange was quick so there was no time for chit chat since he was in traffic and I was a pedestrian 

[metalfantom]

25 minutes ago, MrsWise said:

Thank you guys for your response. The reason why I felt a pang of regret was I might have an opportunity passed me by. I figured I could have taken his number instead. Then used a texting up to text him so I can venture him out and if he turns out to be a *** then it's easy to cut contact from there. But my natural reflex at the time was to lie about my material status in the moment. would you think there was reason for that?

our exchange was quick so there was no time for chit chat since he was in traffic and I was a pedestrian 

How good-looking was he?

[smackie9]

II would have if I was interested/ attracted. 

I think you have it figured out for next time. It’s a good plan to get their number and meet at a busy public place. Hope it happens again somewhere like at a store or something like that. Best of luck. 

[Wiseman2]

52 minutes ago, MrsWise said:

But my natural reflex at the time was to lie about my material status in the moment. would you think there was reason for that?

Yes. Your common sense was operating on all cylinders.

[waffle]

5 hours ago, metalfantom said:

It only works if you're good-looking. 

If you're good-looking but driving a beater it won't work.  Get a nice car and you wont' have to be good-looking.  But then those men don't have to solicit random women hoping she's naive enough to put out with minimal effort on their part.  The women go to them.

[waffle]

3 hours ago, MrsWise said:

The reason why I felt a pang of regret was I might have an opportunity passed me by.

Opportunity for what?

[Cherylyn]

Sounds creepy and unwise.

[Shycarrot]

I don't like that very much but as long as they're courteous and know to take "no" or "I am not interested" for an answer, it's okay I guess 

 

 

[Batya33]

6 minutes ago, Shycarrot said:

I don't like that very much but as long as they're courteous and know to take "no" or "I am not interested" for an answer, it's okay I guess 

 

 

I don't think it's courteous in the first place to call out to a stranger in that situation and ask for personal information no matter how attractive you think the person is. 

Several years ago my son and I were walking home and were about 10 blocks from our house.  A man driving alone in a nice car called out to us.  I instructed my young son to ignore (I wasn't sure what he said but sounded like a greeting or question) and it was very concerning for a short time because it seemed like he was still sort of following us, etc. 

About a month later I ran into him, his wife and young son in our elevator. He realized what had happened and explained to me that he'd seen us walking and was just greeting us (although forgot our names) -likely going to offer us a ride home! 

I had no idea it was him (obviously I didn't want to approach the car) -he didn't know our names and I knew his wife by sight much better -so I'd have recognized them as a family for sure. 

He did NOTHING wrong - at most a bit clueless because what mom with her young son is going to approach a strange man driving down the road who randomly calls out. My point is that a woman who is approached that way if she has common sense -is not going to react in any interactive way and probably shouldn't for safety reasons and it's unfair to concern or scare someone.  My neighbor was sorry he'd done this as he saw that we were apprehensive.  

[Shycarrot]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I don't think it's courteous in the first place to call out to a stranger in that situation and ask for personal information no matter how attractive you think the person is. 

Several years ago my son and I were walking home and were about 10 blocks from our house.  A man driving alone in a nice car called out to us.  I instructed my young son to ignore (I wasn't sure what he said but sounded like a greeting or question) and it was very concerning for a short time because it seemed like he was still sort of following us, etc. 

About a month later I ran into him, his wife and young son in our elevator. He realized what had happened and explained to me that he'd seen us walking and was just greeting us (although forgot our names) -likely going to offer us a ride home! 

I had no idea it was him (obviously I didn't want to approach the car) -he didn't know our names and I knew his wife by sight much better -so I'd have recognized them as a family for sure. 

He did NOTHING wrong - at most a bit clueless because what mom with her young son is going to approach a strange man driving down the road who randomly calls out. My point is that a woman who is approached that way if she has common sense -is not going to react in any interactive way and probably shouldn't for safety reasons and it's unfair to concern or scare someone.  My neighbor was sorry he'd done this as he saw that we were apprehensive.  

You're right. It's not courteous at all. What I meant was : if the guy isn't persistent and goes away after you say "no" it's better than the opposite 

I am sorry for what you went though with your neighbor. You and your son must have been scared 

I am happy it was a happy-ending 😅