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A few months ago, boyfriend asked me to move in with him. Everything was going well until.. 

 

His ex and her new boyfriend show up, and that's when I find out they're going to be living in the camper next to the house? I knew they lost their home, but no idea of these plans until they unraveled before me. He claimed it's only temporary and there was zero romance involved. However, she has other options like living with nearby relatives. And the worst part is that he seems to be making no effort to get her out. They've been here for almost three months now.

Not only is she his ex, but she was [is?] the love of his life! They've been known to do sneaky things together, after their relationship ended. Whenever I try to talk about things, he just says the same things everytime. That he will talk to them.. that he promised her he would always be there to help her because everyone else abandoned her.

This has really changed our relationship.... Not so much at first, but as time goes by and nothing is being done, and my feelings are being ignored, I just feel sick to my stomach every day and I don't want to be at the house whatsoever. Having these doubts and questioning everything, having that awful guy feeling.. I should not feel like that in what is supposed to be my home. It's hard because she is also my friend and I would probably do something similar if the roles were reversed.  

🎶Should I stay, or should I go now?🎶

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7 minutes ago, FortuneNavi said:

they're going to be living in the camper next to the house? They've been here for almost three months now.

I just feel sick to my stomach every day and I don't want to be at the house whatsoever.

How long have you been dating? How long have you lived together? Whose house and camper is it?

It's odd you're worried about their (imagined) romance when she is homeless and with her BF. Do they pay rent or help out? Are they drug addicts? Do they work? Why are they homeless?

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We've been together for a year. I moved in four months ago. The house and camper are both his. 

I worry because she is known for cheating in every one of her previous relationships. My boyfriend cheated on the girl he was with before me with her.

They've helped twice with groceries since they've been here. Neither one is looking for steady work, only the odd jobs the Boyfriend's dad gets every now and then. 

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16 minutes ago, FortuneNavi said:

I moved in four months ago. The house and camper are both his. 

 My boyfriend cheated on the girl he was with before me with her.

Your BF is the problem. He has low integrity . It's unclear why he's letting these parasites hang round, but it's his property.

Save yourself a ton of headaches heartaches and aggravation and move out. You are indirectly supporting them if you pay rent, bills, food etc. It's not worth salvaging this messy situation.

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1 hour ago, FortuneNavi said:

he promised her he would always be there to help her

What you see is what you get. She will always be a part of his life. If you don't want a man who operates like this, never severing ties with an ex, then choose not to date one.

You two live together as a couple, and yet he didn't ask if you were okay with others living on the property. Don't expect he will ask your okay about similar things in the future.

If you don't want to live with this gut-twisting stress, then date someone with the same boundaries as you.

You moved in too quickly before knowing everything about him. What's done is done, but you can still get out of this mess before investing more time with this nonsense.

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2 hours ago, FortuneNavi said:

Not only is she his ex, but she was [is?] the love of his life!

How do you know this?  Are you speculating, or did he actually say this?  If it's the latter, then I agree with the post above this one and ask why you are sticking around?

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2 hours ago, FortuneNavi said:

His ex and her new boyfriend show up, and that's when I find out they're going to be living in the camper next to the house? I knew they lost their home, but no idea of these plans until they unraveled before me. He claimed it's only temporary and there was zero romance involved.

She has a bf now.. but you still suspect some 'romance'?  Wow.. says a lot about her 😕 .. Both of them actually if she had a bf atm.

 

2 hours ago, FortuneNavi said:

I just feel sick to my stomach every day and I don't want to be at the house whatsoever. Having these doubts and questioning everything, having that awful guy feeling.. I should not feel like that in what is supposed to be my home.

Then this is not good for you. ( feeling the anxiety & doubts).

How long have you  two been involved - for you to admit this is your home as well now? Did you move in with him shortly after you got involved?

I feel he feels obligated to her somehow( But he shouldn't after all of this time ( Or has it been a lot of time?) . - have you mentioned your thoughts about having her move to family w/e, elsewhere?

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They are a couple of "leechers". And your boyfriend is an "enabler". Meaning a person who enables them to be like they are. Lazy, no job trailer trash. Literally. Why he enables them is what should worry you. Do you really believe that somebody with the history of cheating with the exact person that leeches of him now, is doing that from the goodness of his heart? Or she pays her "rent" in different means?

They both have very lousy morals. And you should have never move in with somebody like that. Go away from there. And leave him pinning or even cheating with her. There is nothing good in there for you. Just more doubt and pain. 

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On 8/20/2022 at 2:59 PM, FortuneNavi said:

... that's when I find out they're going to be living in the camper next to the house?

...and that's exactly when I would have been gone.

For me, this wouldn't even be a question of disloyalty, just a clear case of sheer stupidity to believe that I would put up with that debacle of a choice for a single second.

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You have to decide what you can accept and what you can’t. You say you have compassion for her, but aren’t comfortable with her being there. You have to decide which is more important in order to get yourself out of the emotional rut you find yourself in.
 

If you know you aren’t ok with this arrangement, you need to remove yourself from it.
 

If it is something you can understand and accept, then you can stay there comfortably.

 

Anything in between will only mean suffering for you. You must choose. 

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