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Was he negging me?


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There’s this worker at a cafe I frequent. I do find him quite cute. Friends of mine that have been around me tell me they’ll notice that he looks at me from across the room, that he gives me strong eye contact and ignores others around me, etc. 

Once my car stopped working, he started offering me rides home (no, I’ve never asked him). After one of those rides, he exchanged numbers with me.

The next time I went to this place, I left without him taking me home. During my walk home, he calls me with a raised voice, asking why I didn’t wait for him, and that I can assume that he would take me home. I said “oh I’m sorry” in a timid voice, and then he softened his voice and said “no it’s okay I just wanted to make sure you get home safe.” Which I thought was sweet! 

Then a few days later, I get a notification that he added me on Instagram.

Today, again, he asks if I need a ride home. 

Once it was closing time, he sat near me, waiting for his coworkers to finish closing. He started being super aloof towards me.

We’re sitting, on our phones, when he randomly says “you know, you’re funny looking.” I said “ok,” and he said “what? I can’t give my opinion?” And I said “I didn’t ask for it” and there was some inane back-and-forth. I got upset and just stopped replying and noticed a brief smirk from the corner of my eye. 

And then for the rest of the night, he would ask me asinine questions, and follow up my responses with “why why why why,” akin to how children ask questions, in this same aloof tone. 

When the ride home was almost over, he was saying stuff like “I hate aaaaall you customers equally, yuuuup, hate all you guys” and then sang some song with the word “hate” in it. Again, in this aloof tone. I just said “bye” and left. 

 

 

I’m so upset. Especially with him calling me “funny looking.” If I’m so funny looking, why do you initiate every single conversation we’ve EVER had, why did you add me on social media, why did you ask me for my number, and why do you ask me for a ride home? You don’t insult things that people either can’t change, or take lots of $$$ to change. 

I’m seriously upset. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve never texted him before, I would text him about how upset he made me on numerous levels.

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18 minutes ago, igaveherabeverage542 said:

Especially with him calling me “funny looking.”

It seems like it started out nice, offering you rides, etc. It's unclear why he turned into a jerk . Block and delete him from your social media and messaging apps. Stop going to his workplace.

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He might be cute, but you are finding out the hard way that he is actually a jerk. It's really that simple.

Ugly person on the inside. Taking that tone with you or even demanding why you walked is not caring, it's kind of creepy. Since your response was timid and apologetic, even though you had nothing to apologize for, he now sees you as an easy target to be a jerk to and is acting accordingly. Never ever accept anyone raising their voice at you as cute or caring. It's abusive and you should have cut him off immediately.

Please do not so easily accept rides from strangers and he is one to you. Even more so when the guy starts to act strange, controlling, raising his voice at you, and even worse, starts talking about how he hates people, including you.

Stay away from this place and block and delete him. Do not accept any more rides or contact. Plenty of cute guys out there who are sane, genuinely kind, and respectful. This one isn't it.

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 He's using PU methods. Someone, possibly one of his coworkers or friends are giving him some really bad advice in how to get date with a nice lady like yourself. 

If he really rubs you the wrong way, get coffee somewhere else. 

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