why would you want a break now but not before if i didnt find out

[Confusionsconfrontedcer]

So gf cheated on me again with same guy as on xmas. this time it was day before my bday.

she was not planning to tell me.

the way she says it is that she ***ed up. AN WASNT GOING TO REPEAT IUT

was going to keep it a secret to spare me the pain
 

And that she had no intentions on wanting to take a break or asking for one or breaking g up

However 3 MUTUAL FRIENDS OF THE RELATIONSHIP  all found out PEOPLE WE HAD MEET AS A COUPLE 2 GIRLS ONE GUY.

theY PULLED HER  Aside and told her they know she cheated and they were going to give her the chance to tell me or else they were going to

 

So she decided to instead of telling me she leave to A FRIENDS and so instead I found out from THE GUY FRIEND she after that wanted to take a break .I don't do breaks so now we are broken up ....

 

Basically I asked her so if ii never found out you wouldnt want to take a break ??  HER ANSWER WAS YES Or WAS SHE  even thinking of taking a break she said no ... And I said but now you do only because I found out . She sa+id yeah 

I FEEL LIKE IM BEINMG PUNISHED BY HER TO TAKE A BREAK DU BECAUSE OF OTHER  PEOPLE TEWLLING ON HE R

 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Confusionsconfrontedcer said:

I asked her so if ii never found out you wouldnt want to take a break ?

Do you co-own, co-lease or is it your place or her place? Either you need to move out or give her notice to move. You're wasting your time "taking breaks" while living together. If she is as bad as you say she is, just end it.

 

[MissCanuck]

Just stay broken up this time. 

Why she behaves this way is not relevant anymore. Just cut all ties as soon as possible. 

[Kwothe28]

Once a cheater, always a cheater. You should have thrown her out in the streets first time you found out.

You are being "punished" because you took back somebody awful. So now she just knows she can do it again, again and again. Without consequences. The break is not about you, its about her. Some people hate accountability. So she would just pretend nothing happened for a while and then go back to you. If you let her back she would do it again. With that awful ex friend of yours or even somebody else. So be smarter next time and just throw her out for good. She cant punish you for nothing because she is "the bad guy" here, not you. Its you who should do the punishment.

[Rose Mosse]

10 hours ago, Confusionsconfrontedcer said:

So gf cheated on me again with same guy as on xmas. this time it was day before my bday.

she was not planning to tell me.

 

Cheating means going behind your partner’s back and doing what he or she wouldn’t want with someone else.

She wouldn’t tell you if she’s a cheater. They rarely do as it’s not in their best interest.

What usually works for cheaters is keeping things going at home and cheating outside of the relationship, avoiding confrontation and avoiding a break up.

You both have a pattern of her cheating but what’s unusual is that you expected her to tell you. Why? Maybe you’re heartbroken and still expect too much out of her. It’s not what she is. Let go and start over. Don’t keep doing the same things again or repeating old mistakes. 

[waffle]

14 hours ago, Confusionsconfrontedcer said:

. . . I asked her so if ii never found out you wouldnt want to take a break ??  HER ANSWER WAS YES Or WAS SHE  even thinking of taking a break she said no ... And I said but now you do only because I found out . She sa+id yeah 

I FEEL LIKE IM BEINMG PUNISHED BY HER TO TAKE A BREAK DU BECAUSE OF OTHER  PEOPLE TEWLLING ON HE R

 

Why would any of this matter if you "don't do breaks"?

[Lambert]

To say that if you didn't find out, she wouldn't have wanted to break up or be on a break or whatever, is her screwing with your mind.  This person is a horrible human being.  I have said before and I'll say it again, SOME LOSSES ARE A GAIN.

Take care of yourself.  Heal.  Work on loving yourself more.  So that in the future, you don't allow people who disrespect you to remain in your life.  You deserve better.  Keep reminding yourself this. OVER & OVER.  

[HeartGoesOn]

What's worse than loving someone who hurts you, is thinking that someone who hurts you loves you.

Since cheaters and liars go hand in hand, what's the point of attempting to change them, fight for them, etc.  They're made out of the same mold.

You'll never win this battle until you accept that it's over, and realize you can do better.

[catfeeder]

16 hours ago, Confusionsconfrontedcer said:

I FEEL LIKE IM BEINMG PUNISHED BY HER TO TAKE A BREAK DU BECAUSE OF OTHER  PEOPLE TEWLLING ON HE R

I'm so sorry you're hurting. Your pain will not change her into a better person--but it can transform YOU into self respecting person.

You're punished by your own choice to stay with one who has already proven herself to be cruel and untrustworthy.

She wants to mess with the other guy. Period.

If she can shake out some convenient rental benefits with you, she'll manipulate you for those. She doesn't want to deal with your emotional fall-out, but that doesn't mean it would change anything or somehow transform her into a trustworthy person.

You can adopt resilience and push past her. It's a decision.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

[SooSad33]

On 8/6/2022 at 12:03 AM, Confusionsconfrontedcer said:

So gf cheated on me again with same guy as on xmas. this time it was day before my bday.

Get a backbone

Be strong

Be done

 

On 8/6/2022 at 12:03 AM, Confusionsconfrontedcer said:

I FEEL LIKE IM BEINMG PUNISHED BY HER TO TAKE A BREAK DU BECAUSE OF OTHER  PEOPLE TEWLLING ON HE R

No, no.  You are punishing yourself by staying with her at all!

That's what is gonna do you in.

Be strong here.  Dont accept a cheater as a partner.  Just be done now.  Expect no more from her.

Dont beg, dont chase.. just walk.

 

[smackie9]

just breakup with her....then you will be ok.