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Not EVERYONE is your friend. How many times have your been told this.

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Top 100 Friendship Quotes | True Fr...
Top 100 Friendship Quotes | True Friends Quotes To Share

Long ago, I started a tradition of giving my next door neighbor homemade baked goods during the holiday season sometime in December.  My neighbor whom I occasionally chat with from our suburban front yards, reciprocates every year as well.  However, we're not friends.  During vacations,  we've collected each other's postal mail, picked up newspapers, I've fed her cat and we wave to each other at random.  She gave me souvenir type trinkets from her travels and a pie.  I've returned the favor.  I've also picked up and returned her trash cans if they were tipped and she has done the same for us (my husband and me).  If there was anything suspicious in the neighborhood, most neighbors would call the police. 

If we had temporary blackouts (electrical power outages) in the neighborhood especially at night, we chatted on sidewalks briefly and kept it light and polite.  None of us are friends.  We're nice to each other but we're not chums.

For our other neighbors, I brought homemade dinner the day they moved in and when they brought their newborn sons from the hospital.  They gave me a very kind handwritten thank you note, bouquet of flowers and a cake.  We too have exchanged homemade baked goods every December.  It keeps our neighbor relationship very harmonious. We're not friends though.  We'll chat briefly as they walk their dog and that's it.

The other neighbor is rather standoffish despite my giving them homemade baked goods several years in a row with nary a 'thank you' whatsoever.  We wave to each other at random.  I don't give them holiday treats anymore; not due to their non-reciprocal behavior but because they don't even say, "Thank you."

At a recent 4th of July neighborhood potluck at our nearby park,  we chatted, kept our rapport cordial and all was well.  We're not friends.  We're nice to each other but everyone has their set of obvious boundaries which we all respect. 

In the past, my cousin, sister and to some extent, my mother and in-laws haven't put forth the same type of effort that I put into the relationship.  We're at peace nowadays.   I imitate them in every way.  I don't over do it.  I don't get hurt nor disappointed anymore.  Our relationship feels equal and balanced.  I've since lowered my expectations of others.  I don't expend extra energy on them anymore because they certainly do not care to make me feel special and happy either.  It works both ways and it's a two way street.  I do just enough just like they do and it's fair. 

I no longer strive for rewarding relationships.  If it happens, wonderful and if doesn't, I feel rather numb to it because I'm just as indifferent, apathetic and lackadaisical as they are.  No harm, no foul. 

Change the way you think, change your attitude and behavior.  Then you will observe life and people from a different angle and new lens.  It will be wisdom gained for you.  You'll no longer feel so sensitive and indignant ever single time people disappoint and hurt you.  You'll no longer take affronts personally.  It's not about you.  It's them and the way most people are.  Grow accustomed to it and you'll develop thicker skin.  Don't get your feathers ruffled anymore.  Be "blah" when it comes to people.  If they don't care about you, then return the favor and don't care about them either.  Be equal; not more or less.  Balanced and equal. 


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