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Approaching men in the wild


AvaD21
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Hi everyone!

 

Please could I preface this post by saying I’m 29 and would love advice from people within my generation? That is no disrespect meant! It’s just dating advice varies wildly with the different generations lol!

 

I go to a gym and for the past few months, there is this dreamy guy. I’ve seen extremely subtle signs that he could be interested but I really don’t think too much into it because we’re at the gym! I’d really love to shoot my shot but I have no idea how. I have no idea if he’s single or even interested and how I’d possibly make him feel by approaching him. I think it’s more awkward at the gym also, sometimes we walk out into the parking lot at the same time because we go to the gym at the same time. I’m leaving this gym imminently and I just feel like I’ll kick myself for not trying but I’m kind of ICK about the whole thing also 😅

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19 minutes ago, AvaD21 said:

I go to a gym and for the past few months, there is this dreamy guy.I have no idea if he’s single or even interested and how I’d possibly make him feel by approaching him.

You could ask he wants to get a coffee sometime. It sounds like you've never even spoken to him, so that could break the ice and give you a more concrete idea if he is interested/single. 

Edited by Wiseman2
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Just don't do what I did -I had a really handsome neighbor way back when. When he moved in his mom was helping him move and obviously wanted him to meet me LOL.  I ran into him at the supermarket and the only shopping cart available to me was the one that has room for a baby LOL.  He laughed and asked if I had a child somewhere -it actually did break the ice.  He ended up meeting a woman who was much more attractive than me and was besotted with her.  Oh well.  At least I tried!

I think approaching about a common interest is always fine.  By analogy I was at a work event yesterday.  At the event was a really well known man I'd heard so much about -not a celebrity but rather famous all considering and I have so much respect for him - we do not work together, never have -total stranger to me.  It was a hugely crowded event. He spoke.

I was leaving the building to go home.  He happened to be walking out by himself at the same time.  I approached him and said "Mr. ____ I wanted to tell you I loved your speech and agreed so much with what you said about [someone we'd both worked with]."  He appreciated my comments and would have continued the conversation but someone else then approached to take his photo so he thanked me again and I was on my way.

Here's my point -I approached this stranger in the wild so to speak.  Cold approach where the only thing in common was we'd both just been at this huge event and the comment I made was directly related to his speech.  I think it's fine if you can find that common ground and comment on something relevant rather than just being star struck (meaning if I'd gone up to him and said "Mr. ____ -I've always wanted to meet you!!!!"  And now -if I ever see him again or run across him on linkedin I can now add him/approach again because I broke the ice.  

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So what if you are in the gym? People strike conversations in the gym all the time. Mostly about pectorial muscles or what products do they use(Has "Whey" increased prices in pandemic? That would be a good gym convo lol) but now with mostly mixed gyms, I dont see a problem with you striking a conversation with him.

Here is a problem: You dont know anything about that person. Aside of his "pectorial muscles" he can be a classical "meathead", he can have a girlfriend, heck for all you know he can be a mass killer(probably isnt, just saying). He could also be just that dream guy you dreamt that he is, but you dont know that. In order to find out you will need to take a risk. Approach him and strike a conversation. See how he is like, if he asks questions back, if he flirts, maybe even subtly ask if he has somebody with "Your girlfriend must be very proud of your pectorial muscles" or whatever you gym rats talk. And see if he maybe wants to grab a coffee if everything goes in the right way. Approaching somebody is always the risk you need to be willing to take. How it goes, its up to both of you. Good luck on your "hunting". 😁

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Start small.  When you see each other say something upbeat like "we need to stop meeting like this"  and carry on.  Measure his reaction.  Go from there.  See if he reciprocates.

And no, I am not 26 but even us older folks know how to flirt 🙂

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Hey Ava!

 

I’m 32, maybe that is getting on some… I think it is 🤣 I’m sorry!

 

I would just strike up a normal conversation first! Parking lot seems as good as any! Say hey, I noticed you’re here all the time! You gonna think I’m stalking you 😉 Break the ice. Then after a chit chat of how long he’s been coming here and what he does and which machine he likes best or, ohhh how could I work on this area here 🥲 you might be able to find out if he is single or not, or at least have a bit of a rapport started so next time, he might trot on over to you and you can keep the ball rolling and hopefully, hey! He might even ask you out for that drink! But no shame in doing it yourself. I would ask him after a convo or two. You can get a feel for who he is then, and if you are still interested and want to pursue. 
 

All the best!

 

x

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Wear something really skimpy and then drop something right in front of him, and bend down slowly to pick it up.  Whether your boobs or your butt is your best feature determines if you're facing him or away from him while you carry out this maneuver.

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Well I am twice your age but have been approached by women more than my share I would guess (still not sure why) and I can tell you as long as you are not In your face bold approach you should be fine no matter what you say or do.

 If he finds you attractive you could literally say or do something really silly and he would still want to get to know you.  Guys are visual but we also like to be spoken to, not at just like everyone else.

  When you are walking out together (you need to make the effort to be close enough to talk) say "What do you think of this gym? I am thinking of leaving it for another place"

This will start a convo and it gives him an "in" to say something clever like "I hope you don't leave, I really like seeing you here" 

Next thing you know you are having dinner getting to know each other.

Remember guys (good guys) know a lot of women hate being chatted up at the gym so make it easy for him to know his attention is welcome.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Be brave, it won't hurt to try

 Lost

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