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Still waiting to start a family after been with my boyfriend of 9 years. Completely stuck.


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6 hours ago, Hhbgff said:

Look, have you read the details of my post?

Yes. 

None of it changes my opinion. Your relationship is still in serious trouble and you are going to deny it until the day he comes home and finally breaks up with you. 

Keep your friends and family close. You are going to need them. 

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Before signing the deed, get married. Never jump into anything so financially huge without a ring, and a marriage license. Tell him he needs to make this real. If he doesn't, you know he ain't gonna be on board with having a child. Talk is talk, actions speak volumes. 

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Wanting to have a house and family at 30 is fine. Its' your selfish immature BF that's the issue. Always stalling and blaming you for that.

Don't have his child. You'll regret it. If you stay with him, you'll be writing this same thing when you're 50, no kids, no house, no life and he'll still meeting up with other women. Blaming you for everything.

Edited by Wiseman2
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My brother in law found 836 excuses to not marry his girlfriend "yet". She finally saw the writing on the wall (so did his girlfriend before her)...if she wanted marriage and children she would have to leave him. She did leave him (again, so did his girlfriend before her). Both ex girlfriends were married with children within a couple of years of leaving him. 

Oh, and my BIL? Still unmarried, still not a father and currently living with his mother. He's nearly 50 now.  If these women had stayed, "hoping" or acquiescing to all of his ridiculous demands/"prerequisites" they'd still be unmarried and childless.

You are not "stuck". You are free to leave at any time.

I am curious to know why you haven't tried to get a better paying job with more opportunities. Is it because you don't want to?

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What everyone else said. And why do you have to have three bedrooms? I grew up in a two bedroom apartment and shared a room with my sister for about 13 years. My son is 13 and we live in a two bedroom apartment in a great building in a great part of our city. No desire for a house. Yes another bedroom would be nice but likely would just encourage more stuff and clutter. We can afford a house. We don’t want or need one. 

and your boyfriend sounds like he likes the outer trappings and idea of having a family far more than the reality and daily life of it. The nitty gritty. 
I totally understand the upsides of having a family earlier than 40. We started trying when I was almost 41 as was he.  We got pregnant over a year later. First and only pregnancy for me. No interventions needed. Lots of trying and loads of fun trying because we were both on the same page. 

Edited by Batya33
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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

My brother in law found 836 excuses to not marry his girlfriend "yet". She finally saw the writing on the wall (so did his girlfriend before her)...if she wanted marriage and children she would have to leave him. She did leave him (again, so did his girlfriend before her). Both ex girlfriends were married with children within a couple of years of leaving him. 

Oh, and my BIL? Still unmarried, still not a father and currently living with his mother. He's nearly 50 now.  If these women had stayed, "hoping" or acquiescing to all of his ridiculous demands/"prerequisites" they'd still be unmarried and childless.

You are not "stuck". You are free to leave at any time.

I am curious to know why you haven't tried to get a better paying job with more opportunities. Is it because you don't want to?

Look, I don't know I wish I had an honest answer, but I don't know. Maybe I'm scared of change or leaving my comfort zone. 

I have tried various things, but nothing has ever materialised. I just haven't had a clear path. 

I'm very happy with lots of aspects of my life - the company I work for, my work colleagues, the area I live in. All that's missing is a higher 'liveable' salary, shorter commute time and the opportunity to have a family with my boyfriend and to also make a good life with him. 

Edited by Hhbgff
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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, boltnrun said:

He brought it up in the past year WITH REQUIREMENTS. All of which are designed to actually prevent marriage and children from happening. 

What is he saying now? How recently did he tell you he wants marriage and children with you? Last week? Last month?

 

You won't address the question that many of us have asked, which is why you're so absolutely terrified to talk to your boyfriend about what you want. You seem to think he's the only one who gets to express himself. You also haven't addressed how you expect to have a successful marriage and family in a relationship where you believe your thoughts, feelings and wants are unimportant or disregarded.

A successful marriage is a team, not a dictatorship. You seem to be acting like a fearful child instead of an equal partner.

Remember, in order for him to love you enough to marry you he needs to respect you. Without respect there cannot possibly be love. Tiptoeing around fearfully is not sexy or attractive.

I will try to answer your question. I have wanted to have a child for years but I have repressed these thoughts or feeling because there has always been some sort of conflict or tension regarding my job or salary. My boyfriend pays the majority of our expenses and has been for years. I dont feel like I have a voice to speak up with. 

He has been telling me for years to do better and find a way to a better job or career. I haven't managed anything and it's caused a lot of friction and resentment between us. It's all my boyfriend has wanted all of this time. He has just wanted me to do better for myself! 

I've lost my voice. I want to be able to suggest having a child from a stronger position or a better job at least. Something that I know my boyfriend would be in agreement with. Something with more of a future that can benefit both of us. I want us to be on the same page. I want things to feel fair and to make sense to both of us. How can I tell him I want a child when nothing has changed for me? When he's still paying most of our monthly expenses, when we still don't own our own home, when he hates and resents our next door neighbour, when I don't have my driving license, when I can't save any money each month. 

My boyfriend wants things to be better for our child, whereas I would be quite happy to have our child now. I feel quite ashamed, my boyfriend has goals and aspirations and wants our child to have a better life, whereas I just want a child because my heart is telling me it's what I want and because we've been waiting for years now. It's painful and hard on me. It's very hard when you've been in a long term relationship and keep on questioning why it can't be us, why we can't even try. All of the suggestions about having a child were coming from him the past year and it felt amazing, I felt proud and confident that it was what he really wanted with me and I really thought we were going to find a way through our struggles, but of course not yet. 

Edited by Hhbgff
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47 minutes ago, Hhbgff said:

All that's missing is a higher 'liveable' salary, shorter commute time and the opportunity to have a family with my boyfriend and to also make a good life with him. 

You say you want these things but have done nothing to make them happen.

Maybe your subconscious knows trying to have a marriage and family with this man is a bad idea. 

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Posted (edited)

I just told my boyfriend how I was feeling about everything. He asked me about my bc tonight again. I couldn't take it. I told him my concerns and asked if we were going to be leaving having a family too late. He told me that "30 is not old" and dismissed my concerns. I gave an example of you know, how we were leaving it a lot later than our parents have to have our first child and he said that other people had made different life choices to us and thats why they were in positions to have children. I suggested that maybe it'd be a good idea to do fertility tests and he gave me a funny look and made out that he didn't understand or maybe he actually didn't. I had a heart to heart with him. He also said that he is now nowhere near thinking about having a family or kids and he told me to change to subject. Things are diabolical. I dont know why everything has changed. At the start of the year , he wouldn't stop bringing it up, I thought we were both on the same page. He told me that he just wants to run away, has run out of hope, doesn't know what he wants,he said that I've had a bad affect on his mental health for years and that there's only so long somebody can wait for somebody else. Well what about the abortion on my mental health? It has affected me every day and upset me so much,my heart got broken never to be repaired. 

He said that he needs or wants to see something or anything from me, that something needs to come from me and fast. This has shaken me up and scared me, is he referring to my career situation with this? It's all so deep and overwhelming and excruciating, I feel like I can't breathe. 

He is going away in 11 days time for 5 weeks. 😞

 

 

At least I spoke up for myself - I've never done this before to be honest. This thread has helped me with that much at least and now I know i can. I'm not taking any more if him doing all the talking or biting my tongue 

Edited by Hhbgff
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I think it's great you spoke up. The fact that it's the first time in NINE YEARS really says a lot about the relationship though, doesn't it?

He expects you to shut up and go along with his agenda. How does that make you feel?

The good thing is you now have confirmed all of the information you had before. This man does not want what you want.

You are now free to decide what you want. If it's marriage and children, wasting even one more year on this guy is a terrible idea. But if you truly do want a husband and children you can do as my brother in law's exes did and leave him so you can meet a man who wants what you want.

You have ten-ish years of fertility left. Don't waste any of them on the wrong man.

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Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I think it's great you spoke up. The fact that it's the first time in NINE YEARS really says a lot about the relationship though, doesn't it?

He expects you to shut up and go along with his agenda. How does that make you feel?

The good thing is you now have confirmed all of the information you had before. This man does not want what you want.

You are now free to decide what you want. If it's marriage and children, wasting even one more year on this guy is a terrible idea. But if you truly do want a husband and children you can do as my brother in law's exes did and leave him so you can meet a man who wants what you want.

You have ten-ish years of fertility left. Don't waste any of them on the wrong man.

Thank you! 

I don't know if he does expect or want me to just shut up and go along with his agenda, but I guess I could say he did try to shut me down then. 

He had told me before that he wants me to be more opinionated and speak up about things. He wants me to speak my mind with him. He doesn't want to be making decisions for us on his own. 

Edited by Hhbgff
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I'm glad you had this talk. I hope you are really listening to this: 

27 minutes ago, Hhbgff said:

He also said that he is now nowhere near thinking about having a family or kids and he told me to change to subject...He told me that he just wants to run away, doesn't know what he wants,he said that I've had a bad affect on his mental health for years and that there's only so long somebody can wait for somebody else.

That is him telling you, very clearly, that he does not want what you want and is nowhere in the same plane. Furthermore, that is him playing the victim, blaming you, and being cruel. 

Add those two facts together and what do they equal? What you want from life or what you don't want?

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:
2 hours ago, Hhbgff said:

All that's missing is a higher 'liveable' salary, shorter commute time and the opportunity to have a family with my boyfriend and to also make a good life with him. 

Expand  

You say you want these things but have done nothing to make them happen.

Maybe your subconscious knows trying to have a marriage and family with this man is a bad idea. 

I'm quoting myself because you haven't answered. 

Why haven't you done this?

46 minutes ago, Hhbgff said:

He had told me before that he wants me to be more opinionated and speak up about things. He wants me to speak my mind with him. He doesn't want to be making decisions for us on his own. 

So why haven't you? Why are you so very frightened of this man you've been in a relationship with for NINE years?

Anyway, you have all the facts. He doesn't want marriage and children. You say you do. If you truly want marriage and children remaining in this relationship makes zero sense. You are not "stuck".

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Uh this guy is not a keeper, dear. This guy suppresses you and you're an after thought to him. 

If you can't be yourself around your significant other without fear or anxieties, you aren't with the right person. You have been shut down and even when you have a heart to heart with him, he still shuts you down (change the subject). Not cool.

I would not waste energy speculating on what he wants & why he treats you different now - I would focus more on his actions because he doesn't treat you like he values you or your opinions.

 

 

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1. He's 27 and you are 30. Slow down. My friend just had a baby at 40. Ever heard that guys are emotionally immature. He's 27, but is probably around 20 in reality. Guys mature much slower. He isn't ready. 

2. You should get married, are you married? After 9 years, I'd want to be married first. It's better for your children. 

3. Men's primal instinct is to procreate and take care of their offspring. You sat you don't have lots of money. Men innately want to give their children the world. He most likely is feeling this pressure. So he isn't ready. 

4. You say you commute three hours to work and you make low salary. Honestly, that doesn't sound like you are in any place to have a baby. A mother can't commute that far to work. And low salary means no money for toys, diapers, clothes, babies are always growing and needing clothes, and formula, and a nursery, and summer camps, and school. All of that costs a ton of money. How will you commute, work, and take care of a baby, and pay for it's needs?

These are just realistic. I understand. I'm 30 too and freaking out about the baby thing. But trust me, at 32, you can still have a baby. 

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Op, you are in serious denial about the whole thing. The goalposts your boyfriend has imposed will never be reached because he'll keep moving them further away. 

He's got you to believe the situation around drinks with that girl was just a misunderstanding. That may or may not be true, but look at how it made you feel and all the excuses you made for him. 

I'd be worried what he's going to be up to while he's away for 5 weeks. He doesn't value you or your relationship the same way that you do. 

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I don't know why you're with him. Just stop responding or talking to him, period. All he does is talk. All talk, no do. Don't become like him.

Freeze your eggs, buy a modest home, finish a program and apprenticeship, work for a couple of years, have IVF and pregnancy, raise your baby.

You both can't agree so agree to disagree and move on. Life is too short for this. 

 

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Sorry but I do get the impression from a lot of your posts that you're in denial about what's really going on in your relationship. I know you love your boyfriend and really want a future with him and I can understand that. You've invested nine years into this man and maybe you're scared that there's nobody else out there. I think you might be trying to change the story about some things to convince yourself that everything is fine.

Something you wrote doesn't really make sense...In a previous post about that girl your boyfriend was meeting you wrote that three years ago you got pregnant. You said that your boyfriend basically pressured you to have an abortion. You said you were even lying on the floor crying your eyes out but he just called the abortion clinic while you were in that state.

Then you wrote in this post that the last two years your boyfriend said to you he wants kids? Is this really the real story?

I'm sorry I sound skeptical but I just don't understand how your boyfriend pushed you to get an abortion but a year later began to say he wants kids...? If he wanted kids then why did he make you get an abortion? I think you need to get real with yourself that if your boyfriend of six years pushes you to get an abortion that the obvious reason is he DOESN'T want kids or doesn't want them with you? And it's not like he was a teenager or anything. He was 24 so old enough to be a father if he wanted to be.

Also your boyfriend knows you really want kids and you already lost the previous child. He knows this is important to you but yet he's pushing you to be on birth control. This is not how someone who wants children would act. He's been with you for nine years so what is he waiting for exactly?

Also don't you find it interesting that since you got your inheritance, he's saying you should buy a house? I'm not sure where you live, but here in Australia for example if you have a de facto partner, they own 50% of everything you own. Seems he's interested in getting a house, but not marriage or kids? 

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5 hours ago, Alex39 said:

1. He's 27 and you are 30. Slow down. My friend just had a baby at 40. Ever heard that guys are emotionally immature. He's 27, but is probably around 20 in reality. Guys mature much slower. He isn't ready. 

2. You should get married, are you married? After 9 years, I'd want to be married first. It's better for your children. 

3. Men's primal instinct is to procreate and take care of their offspring. You sat you don't have lots of money. Men innately want to give their children the world. He most likely is feeling this pressure. So he isn't ready. 

4. You say you commute three hours to work and you make low salary. Honestly, that doesn't sound like you are in any place to have a baby. A mother can't commute that far to work. And low salary means no money for toys, diapers, clothes, babies are always growing and needing clothes, and formula, and a nursery, and summer camps, and school. All of that costs a ton of money. How will you commute, work, and take care of a baby, and pay for it's needs?

These are just realistic. I understand. I'm 30 too and freaking out about the baby thing. But trust me, at 32, you can still have a baby. 

Why do they need to "slow down" though if they've been together for nine years and have lived together for many years? 27 and 30 is not old but it's also a perfectly normal age to have children. My cousin for example had been with his girlfriend for many years and at 24 he married her and had a baby. I think 27 is mature enough for a guy to know what he wants from his relationship of nine years.

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11 hours ago, Hhbgff said:

I will try to answer your question. I have wanted to have a child for years but I have repressed these thoughts or feeling because there has always been some sort of conflict or tension regarding my job or salary. My boyfriend pays the majority of our expenses and has been for years. I dont feel like I have a voice to speak up with. 

He has been telling me for years to do better and find a way to a better job or career. I haven't managed anything and it's caused a lot of friction and resentment between us. It's all my boyfriend has wanted all of this time. He has just wanted me to do better for myself! 

I've lost my voice. I want to be able to suggest having a child from a stronger position or a better job at least. Something that I know my boyfriend would be in agreement with. Something with more of a future that can benefit both of us. I want us to be on the same page. I want things to feel fair and to make sense to both of us. How can I tell him I want a child when nothing has changed for me? When he's still paying most of our monthly expenses, when we still don't own our own home, when he hates and resents our next door neighbour, when I don't have my driving license, when I can't save any money each month. 

My boyfriend wants things to be better for our child, whereas I would be quite happy to have our child now. I feel quite ashamed, my boyfriend has goals and aspirations and wants our child to have a better life, whereas I just want a child because my heart is telling me it's what I want and because we've been waiting for years now. It's painful and hard on me. It's very hard when you've been in a long term relationship and keep on questioning why it can't be us, why we can't even try. All of the suggestions about having a child were coming from him the past year and it felt amazing, I felt proud and confident that it was what he really wanted with me and I really thought we were going to find a way through our struggles, but of course not yet. 

I don't understand what any of this has to do with your next door neighbour? Is this just another one of your boyfriend's numerous excuses? Unless the neighbour is harrassing you in some way then simply not liking the neighbour has no impact on your life or anything you're doing.

A lot of your posts sound like you consider yourself just a bystander of your own life and your relationship. Like you're not really living your life but you're just letting life happen TO you on its own. If you want to get a driver's license, get a better job, what is stopping you? I was actually scared of driving but I began learning how to drive at 26-27 and at 28 I got my driver's license. It doesn't matter that you're 30, you can get your driver's license at any time. 

Just because you're not earning as much as your boyfriend doesn't mean you "don't have a voice". You are actually still working, it's not like you're doing nothing at all. Also there are plenty of couples where one person earns more than the other and they are married and have kids. Don't forget, many years ago it was pretty much only the man that worked and the woman was a housewife. The man still married her and had kids with her.

Whatever excuses your boyfriend is giving you don't sound very real, I'm sorry.

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10 hours ago, Hhbgff said:

 He is going away in 11 days time for 5 weeks. 

😞

Excellent. Use that time to find a place and move out. He doesn't want what you want and doesn't care about you at all. He doesn't care if he wastes your youth away.

You "spoke up for yourself" and again he told you to piss off. How many abortions are you going to have so he won't be inconvenienced? Now you're still crawling away with your tail between your legs tolerating it and being a doormat.

Edited by Wiseman2
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11 hours ago, Hhbgff said:

I just told my boyfriend how I was feeling about everything. He asked me about my bc tonight again. I couldn't take it. I told him my concerns and asked if we were going to be leaving having a family too late. He told me that "30 is not old" and dismissed my concerns. I gave an example of you know, how we were leaving it a lot later than our parents have to have our first child and he said that other people had made different life choices to us and thats why they were in positions to have children. I suggested that maybe it'd be a good idea to do fertility tests and he gave me a funny look and made out that he didn't understand or maybe he actually didn't. I had a heart to heart with him. He also said that he is now nowhere near thinking about having a family or kids and he told me to change to subject. Things are diabolical. I dont know why everything has changed. At the start of the year , he wouldn't stop bringing it up, I thought we were both on the same page. He told me that he just wants to run away, has run out of hope, doesn't know what he wants,he said that I've had a bad affect on his mental health for years and that there's only so long somebody can wait for somebody else. Well what about the abortion on my mental health? It has affected me every day and upset me so much,my heart got broken never to be repaired. 

He said that he needs or wants to see something or anything from me, that something needs to come from me and fast. This has shaken me up and scared me, is he referring to my career situation with this? It's all so deep and overwhelming and excruciating, I feel like I can't breathe. 

He is going away in 11 days time for 5 weeks. 😞

 

 

At least I spoke up for myself - I've never done this before to be honest. This thread has helped me with that much at least and now I know i can. I'm not taking any more if him doing all the talking or biting my tongue 

So just wondering, what work do you do? Do YOU enjoy your job? Are you happy at your job? The thing is, yes, some people have the perception that only professional careers that come from a university degree and pay a lot are "worthy". Yet there are also so many other jobs that are important and need to be done in our society. And we need people to do them. For example here in Australia there are jobs that don't pay much but they can definitely be rewarding and enjoyable, as well as that it's important work. For example, hairdresser, aged care worker, childcare worker. These professions are low pay and yet so important and always need staff in those fields.

You said you feel ashamed because you didn't get a "better" job. Don't forget, this shame is being caused by your boyfriend. There are people who work lower paid jobs and their partner doesn't care and doesn't shame them for it. With his large income and your inheritance you would do fine to have children.

In any case, he told you to stop talking about children and shut your mouth and take your birth control. I think you have more than enough information here about how he REALLY feels.

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Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

So just wondering, what work do you do? Do YOU enjoy your job? Are you happy at your job? The thing is, yes, some people have the perception that only professional careers that come from a university degree and pay a lot are "worthy". Yet there are also so many other jobs that are important and need to be done in our society. And we need people to do them. For example here in Australia there are jobs that don't pay much but they can definitely be rewarding and enjoyable, as well as that it's important work. For example, hairdresser, aged care worker, childcare worker. These professions are low pay and yet so important and always need staff in those fields.

You said you feel ashamed because you didn't get a "better" job. Don't forget, this shame is being caused by your boyfriend. There are people who work lower paid jobs and their partner doesn't care and doesn't shame them for it. With his large income and your inheritance you would do fine to have children.

In any case, he told you to stop talking about children and shut your mouth and take your birth control. I think you have more than enough information here about how he REALLY feels.

I work in administration in a private hospital, in the patient records department. The work is boring and low-paid and very repetitive and I would like a change. Its all very full on and demanding, I never get to stop or take breaks. There's never any wind down time. I would like to do something else after doing this for 3 years. I love the company and my team of colleagues to pieces, but the job is a lot of work for little money. My life isn't progressing in any way shape or form. 

Yes, I thought with all of this previous talk of children coming from him, something could have changed or shifted. I honestly think he thinks that I don't deserve to have a child or be a mum. 

I suppose we have to have the actual house first, but even still. Other couples have compromised, why can't we? I thought we both wanted kids! My mum had me at 24 and my sister at 27! It's not going to end the world, is it. 

My boyfriends dad was working at a pizza takeaway when he was born. Why does there have to be so much pressure? Is it because my boyfriend loves me and wants the best for me?

I don't know if I really want this but why can't I keep my current job and why can't we buy a flat where we currently are and try for a family? I don't think it would be enough for my boyfriend. He has said that he wants to move out of the city, to somewhere quieter and so that we can afford a house with a garden and garage. We can only afford a flat here. And then there's my salary. 

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5 minutes ago, Hhbgff said:

I work in administration in a private hospital, in the patient records department. The work is boring and low-paid and very repetitive and I would like a change. Its all very full on and demanding, I never get to stop or take breaks. There's never any wind down time. I would like to do something else after doing this for 3 years. I love the company and my team of colleagues to pieces, but the job is a lot of work for little money. My life isn't progressing in any way shape or form. 

Yes, I thought with all of this previous talk of children coming from him, something could have changed or shifted. I honestly think he thinks that I don't deserve to have a child or be a mum. 

I suppose we have to have the actual house first, but even still. Other couples have compromised, why can't we? I thought we both wanted kids! My mum had me at 24 and my sister at 27! It's not going to end the world, is it. 

My boyfriends dad was working at a pizza takeaway when he was born. Why does there have to be so much pressure? Is it because my boyfriend loves me and wants the best for me?

I don't know if I really want this but why can't I keep my current job and why can't we buy a flat where we currently are and try for a family? I don't think it would be enough for my boyfriend. He has said that he wants to move out of the city, to somewhere quieter and so that we can afford a house with a garden and garage. We can only afford a flat here. And then there's my salary. 

Well my Mum had me at 23 but she had a stillborn baby before me maybe at like 21. My parents were very poor when they got married, at 20 and 22 years old. My Mum couldn't afford to buy a wedding dress so she actually made her own dress. And she made it blue, not white, so she could keep wearing it. And she cut out stripes from my Dad's army pants because he didn't have many clothes and needed new pants.

Anyway, point is I actually don't think that you and your boyfriend would struggle financially really. You still have an income, you have an inheritance and he has a very highly paid job. I think him shaming you for your job is just an excuse. 

Personally if I was you, I'd leave your boyfriend and study a course and/or do an apprenticeship. And start looking for a new partner. There are guys out there who wouldn't actually have a problem with your job and who would want kids.

I want to point out also that 30 is not too old to do anything you want but there's probably no need to waste time either. You know you want (and deserve) to be a Mum and your boyfriend basically said he doesn't want kids now and told you to stop talking about it. You couldn't be further away from not being on the same page. 

Also why wouldn't you deserve to have children just because you work in administration? It's not like you've done something bad. What, only people who are doctors or lawyers deserve to be parents? If that was the case, we'd have a very small world population lol

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