Self Rightous advice

[vincent yak]

So many people are prepared to lambast an affair . Well I have had several affairs and I have been offered many  more . I enjoyed them and they   claimed to have  enjoyed them. The truth is marriages go stale, there is no way to really convincingly revive them. A woman's self image ( and a feeling of security)  is, in part, driven by needing to be wanted 'unmistakably'. But after the first year or two sex falls victim of familiarity , attempts are then made to fake love . From experience some of the women I have met have been plainly abused sexually by their husbands. Gone is sex with love replaced with sex for sex only. A hole in a wall would probably do . Most wives do feel initially guilty when they embarked upon an affair but not to the point of giving it up . Why should a woman grow old into her 70s and look back and feel that she was trapped by marriage and mortgage  in which she did not experience fullilment and she has lived a wasted life of servitude . I appologize to nobody. Infidelity is a modern word, I do believe the ancient Brits never used it, it is not written in nature , the word has been invented  by man, mostly to protect what he feels is his property. I expect a howl of condemnation to this, go for it, but that is life !

[Seraphim]

Is there  a question?

[Capricorn3]

I think a thread trying to promote cheating, encouraging the lowest behaviours like zero morals, zero values, zero self respect, zero respect for people in general, selfish and self-centred etc is not going to impress anyone.  If this lousy and immoral behaviour makes you feel proud of yourself then maybe it's time to get professional help. Ugh. 🙄

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

  If this lousy and immoral behaviour makes you feel proud of yourself then maybe it's time to get professional help. Ugh. 🙄

That's ok. His wife will get her hands on his phone and read this 😂 . Or his mother will take his phone privileges away. 

[MissCanuck]

What advice are you seeking? 

[Rose Mosse]

Is this a rant? Who cares? Do whatever you want. Although it is ironic that you're coming across as self-righteous too. Hilarious.

[smackie9]

How about this....get divorced and stay single. Obviously marriage isn't for you, and that's ok. No one is holding a gun to your head to be married.

[Wiseman2]

On 7/14/2022 at 6:23 PM, vincent yak said:

I have had several affairs and I have been offered many  more .

[goddess]

Sounds like you have some serious issues and no moral compass.  

[waffle]

On 7/14/2022 at 6:23 PM, vincent yak said:

 I appologize to nobody. 

When your wife finds out, I predict in the blink of an eye you will collapse at her feet in a blubbering heap insisting she's the only one you've ever loved and those other women meant nothing (that part is likely true) and you will do anything it takes to make things right blah blah blah please forgive me darling blah blah blah.

The other possibility is that she already knows but likes her home and your paycheck.  

[1a1a]

Or your can discuss opening the relationship. Or you can end it.

There more ways to navigate the loss of spark than deceit. 

[limichelle]

Usually when someone goes off on a tangent. It’s because they have guilt and know what they are doing to be wrong. So the op is trying to Justify his behavior by trying to make excuses to make himself feel better. So by saying we’re all in the wrong! Helps to reassure him he’s not doing anything wrong in his mind! 
 

 

[Tinydance]

That is your choice if you want to be with different women but there is a way to live that lifestyle without actually having affairs. Polyamory/ethical non monogamy is a thing. I'm not polyamorous myself but I have a number of friends and know people who are polyamorous. In polyamory everyone involved actually knows about it and everyone is open and honest and WANTS to be in the polyamorous relationships/arrangements.

Having affairs means that the husbands of these women are robbed of any choice because they don't actually know that their wife is having an affair. You probably don't care because it's not being done to you but I bet you wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot.

[Stargazer2]

I'm with Tinydance on this one, what she says makes a lot of sense to me.

Another question would be, are you and your multiple partners using a condom and/or doing frequent STD testing?

It would be bad enough as the unaware husband or wife to find out your partner had been having an affair without your knowledge or approval, but to also end-up with a potentially deadly STD from some guy or gal your husband or wife had been with?   Man, that's really bad and would be just devastating, and again, potentially deadly.    

I don't know how anyone can really make any reasonable excuses for that being 'okay'.