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Trying to figure out the relationship (Red flags)


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Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Jeannette80 said:

His words dont match his actions. 

 

It's been a while since I've seen so many red flags in one person. 

Hate to tell you this, OP, but at two months in he's still on his good behavior.  Giving it more time will make it so much worse.  "Confronting him" will do no good at all, and it won't show him that you're in control because you're not in control and you know this and he knows this.  Honestly I'd break up with this one over the phone rather than in-person because you have no idea what his reaction will be.  And in the future, be aware that sweet nothings accompanied by fake future talk in an extremely short period of time are always insincere.  When this happens again with someone else, cut bait immediately, and move along.  You'll save yourself a lot of time and angst.

Edited by waffle
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9 hours ago, Jeannette80 said:

From almost day 1 he showed enthousiasm and he showered me with excessive  compliments and affection, messaging all day, talking about future plans with me, said he loved me, that he found what  he was looking for etc. You get the point. Too fast, too soon.

Yup, too much too soon.  All fake 😕 . Ignore all that.

- YOu do not need a watch from him.. or to use someone else's stuff there. Yes, totally odd behaviour!

9 hours ago, Jeannette80 said:

*He says "i think someone else would suit you better than me" And i reply "are you trying to tell me that i you and i dont match? " And he says" i just wanted to see your reaction and what your reply would be "

- He IS messed up!

Stop playing his head games.. take note of this comment.

Remove yourself now.. No one needs this kind of behaviour! ( has only been a cpl months).  Enough.

 

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Posted (edited)

This guy sounds so much like my ex it's uncanny.  I endured a lot of the same behaviours from him, but he admitted he likely had ASD, so I made a lot of excuses and sacrifices for the way he treated me.  Now I realise he was just damn cruel and am glad I am no longer am in the relationship.  

He gives you apparent choices to make it look like he's a reasonable guy, but in his head there's only one right answer and if you don't choose it then you need to be punished.  That's how it was for me, at least.  I too was compared to an ex and I suspect it was because that relationship ending was not his choice, so he was looking for a replacement, not someone new.  To him, if he liked the way one girlfriend was, then the next should be the same and that's never going to happen.

He would never admit he'd done anything wrong, say sorry or want to deal with any problems.  Again, in his mind, if he felt fine then everyone else must feel the same.  There was no understanding about consequences or the impact upon others.

Sound familiar?  Don't be like me.  Rather than wasting years of your life on someone who won't change and will ruin your self-worth, get out now.  Being alone is far better to being with someone whose behaviour is cruel and nasty.

Edited by poorlittlefish
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On 7/1/2022 at 4:00 AM, Jeannette80 said:

You get the point. Too fast, too soon. But now he is a bit changed. 

I don't understand why there is still a 'now' with him.

You claim to understand that you've been love-bombed, so what should that ALONE tell you?

The rest is irrelevant when you walk away.

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Yes, red flags. You are at a crossroads. You can heed the red flags now and walk away completely or you can stay and learn the hard way from the pain that will ensue should you decide to pursue it. The lesson has been presented to you, now it is your choice to decide whether you want it to be easy or difficult and painful. As someone who has been in your shoes and stood in the exact position in which you find yourself at this moment, I sincerely recommend and hope you don’t choose the hard way. 

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