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Online dating newbie


Easylover
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Hello

I have been using online dating for a while now and started chatting to a guy around 7 weeks ago. 
During this time we’ve chatted daily, into the evening and responses were good. When we met it was short but we agreed to meet again but a few things happened over this course and it never happened but we kept rescheduling. 
We are due to meet again in three days time however in the last few days he seems to have gone a bit ‘weird’. 
He used to reply super frequently wherever he was, would always call me beautiful, replied to messages quickly and with enthusiasm. Now messages are still quiet frequent and obviously we will meet (hopefully) but the meet has gone down from a day to half a day to now just a couple of hours. He logs online (WhatsApp) but doesn’t reply to my texts - he’s online but doesn’t even read mine. Something just feels off… am I reading into it too much? I’m not sure what to do about the meet or whether to just ask outright. We’ve only met once and are obviously not officially dating or anything plus I don’t want to scare him off if he is still super interested but something doesn’t feel right. 
 

Any advice greatly appreciated. 

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6 minutes ago, Easylover said:

I have been using online dating for a while now and started chatting to a guy around 7 weeks ago. We’ve only met once and are obviously not officially dating

Unfortunately there are a lot of one-and-done meets in OLD. Next time screen for timewasters who are reluctant to meet in a timely fashion. Say within a week or so of contact. 

 Keep in mind messaging is cheap and mindless and anyone can text from anywhere. The toilet, their GF's bathroom, while out on another date.

 So anyone who wants to chitchat for almost 2 months without meeting, has very low interest and is best cut off earlier to avoid burnout .

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You don't say which of you needed to reschedule but I'm going to read between the lines and guess it was all him. And he still hasn't even asked for another date?

He's just not that into you, and you've probably the one who has initiated the majority of the reaching out to chit chat.

You're wasting your time, even if you have no other fish on the line. Time to cut bait.

When I did OLD, if a guy wasn't willing to meet after two weeks of communication, I cut off communication.

If a guy lived more than a 50 minute drive to me, it was a no thank you. (I made an exception twice, with guys who lived an hour and 15 minutes from me, and they were both big mistakes).

If his dating style didn't match mine, I said so and moved on.

You usually have to date a boatload of men to find one who matches you in every major way. It'll take you far longer to find a keeper if you waste your time on guys like this who don't put in the effort you deserve. Delete and block his number. Hold out for the guy who makes it crystal clear how into you he is.

 

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2 hours ago, Easylover said:

Something just feels off… am I reading into it too much?

Sorry Newbie but most of these men online simply do not know how to do this.  That's why they're online talking about dating instead of actually dating.

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He is slow-fading. Whether because he lost interest or switched interest to somebody else. Also very common for online dating. Too many prospect means its easy to switch whenever you find something wrong or you meet somebody else. 

I would confirm that date. Because if he is starting to be like that, chances are he is not interested for more. So you wouldnt lose your time and hope for something there.

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2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

He is slow-fading. Whether because he lost interest or switched interest to somebody else. Also very common for online dating. Too many prospect means its easy to switch whenever you find something wrong or you meet somebody else. 

I would confirm that date. Because if he is starting to be like that, chances are he is not interested for more. So you wouldnt lose your time and hope for something there.

Yes.  This.  I met over 100 men in person through on line dating sites -all knew how to date, obviously, because we'd exchange a few messages then meet within a week or so if at all possible (with exceptions for people who had a planned business trip/vacation or over important holidays with family in town) - I also encountered a number of men who simply wanted to "date" online but I screened them out quickly since I didn't chat back and forth.  Also if we'd only met once or twice the only way I spoke with them more than once between dates is if we already had a time/place date planned -if not they didn't get the benefit of being my chat buddy without stepping up to the plate to plan a next time to see me.  

I had many prospects before online dating existed.  So did men - going to singles events, clubs, etc was a big thing and very often those events attracted hundreds of single people.  Online dating was another level of candy store but I know for sure that serious minded men didn't treat it like a candy store at all. 

Neither did I -I mean yes in the first week or so it was kind of mesmerizing - all the responses I got, etc but since I was serious minded that feeling was short lived -I didn't have time to waste nor was I on those sites to be flattered. I was there to meet a potential husband.  Several of my male and female friends met their spouses through on line dating and they had similar mindsets to me.  

I'd let this one go and I'm sorry you're disappointed!

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This happens all the time.  You have to remember that you're not the only person they're chatting with and they're likely still actively searching.  It feels like a conveyor belt, where lots of things come along and although one looks great, further down the line there's another that looks even better.  Unfortunately it's a numbers game.

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7 weeks and one brief meet up...not worth anyone's time. Invest in a guy that will meet you after a few messages and continue to have time for dates with you. Texting is not dating! Stop being someones penpal...any of those types you boot to the curb.

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On 6/24/2022 at 2:59 PM, Easylover said:

... started chatting to a guy around 7 weeks ago. 

Not good. Way too long. Switch to the phone quickly, and if a guy doesn't want to meet up for coffee quickly after that, move on to the next guy.

Quote

During this time we’ve chatted daily, into the evening and responses were good.

Also not good. This is over-kill, and it's fantasy-building.

Quote

When we met it was short but we agreed to meet again but a few things happened over this course and it never happened but we kept rescheduling. 

Naah, this is a waste of your time. You're too focused on a deadbeat.

Keep using the app, set up a bunch of quick meets, and screen most of them out.

When you find good simpatico with someone who gets you, you'll know it.

This guy is not him.

Head high.

 

 

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