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Brother wants to break up with his gf who is friends with my gf


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My brother told me that he wants to end his current relationship. They haven't been toxic to each other, it's just that he has different interests and he doesn't think it'll work out. Neither of them are bad people, my brother still wants to remain friends with her (Though I don't know how long that will last). I've talked a lot with her too and she's nice to talk to, but I'll support my brother's decision especially if he thinks that staying will end up making things worse for the both of them. The problem is that my brother's gf is good friends with my current (and first) gf of about 4 months. I still really like her, but this will obviously make things a lot different to say the least. My brother said he's going to tell her tomorrow, which just so happens to be when me and my gf agreed to meet each other (I had not known about my brother's plans prior to planning my own). He's only told me about this and he doesn't want me to tell anyone else, so I am breaking his trust by being here, but I just don't know what to do. From here I see 2 options:

1. Don't tell my gf when I meet up with her, she finds out afterwards, and I look like an *** for not telling her (and possibly lie to her afterwards about not knowing about my brother's decision, but that's even more wrong).

For the above decision, his gf contacted me recently about thinking something was off with him and I hadn't known since my brother and I only see each other on the weekends. So lying to either of them would seem less plausible.

2. Tell her and betray my brother's trust even more (even if I tell her to keep it a secret)

I'm doubting whether or not our relationship will survive after the fact either way. Even though I would be more than happy to continue it, it's not only up to me to make that decision. I just want to know the correct course of action. If anyone knows any other possible option, I'd be glad to hear it.

 

Edited by plsdonttellmybrother
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You honor what your brother has asked. If your gf ends up being mad at you, she is immature and no longer worth your time. If she breaks up with you, the relationship wasn't on a strong enough foundation to handle the stress and problems every life holds, and so your fate will lie with someone else.

It's not ethical to tell your gf something told to you in confidence. If you think that make you an #$%, you're faulty in that thinking.

If she breaks up, just know you were fine before meeting her 4 months ago, and you'll be fine without her if she leaves.

She might surprise you and be mature and understanding and then you'll feel guilty for assuming the worst.

When you explain yourself with conviction and confidence, you will gain respect. Don't let other people berate you for doing what's right. If that happens, walk away quickly and don't allow yourself to be verbally abused. Don't be apologetic for doing something ethically right.

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Its generally a bad idea to meddle into anything that doesnt concern you. Him breaking with her is one of those things. You dont meddle into that by blabbing to your gf something she shouldnt know or concerns her. Bro code, bro. Bro code. 😄

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@Andrinanailed it. If GF asks "Did you know about this?" you can legitimately say, "I'm really sad about it, but It's also not my business to speak of."

If she gets angry with you, I'd offer no apology. I'd tell her that I understand she's sad, and I feel badly about it, too.

Rinse, repeat if necessary, but I would limit it there.

Head high, and I'm sorry you're going through this.

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I agree with others.  Maintain confidentiality with your brother.  However, make it clear to your brother and girlfriend that you will remain neutral or "Switzerland" from now on.  Your brother, his soon to be ex-girlfriend and this girlfriend's friendship with your girlfriend doesn't have anything to do with you.  Be clear otherwise unnecessary drama will unfold later.  I doubt you'd want to contend with messy complications while you're an innocent bystander.  Make sure everyone stays in their lane (minds their own business) and all is well and peaceful.

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Your girlfriend doesn't need to know in advance, no. 

If she gets mad that you didn't tell her, well, that would suggest she has some maturing to do. It wouldn't be your place to get involved in your brother's relationship issues. It's not your problem if your girlfriend can't understand that so I wouldn't apologize for keeping it to yourself, either. 

8 hours ago, plsdonttellmybrother said:

I'm doubting whether or not our relationship will survive after the fact either way

Then I hate to tell you, but you don't have a very solid relationship to begin with. There is no reason why your relationship should be affected by your brother dumping her friend. 

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Yup, I agree with the other responses.

Whatever anyone has going on in their relationships has nothing to do with you & yours.

Sucks, if anything should end up affecting your relationship, but really, it shouldn't!

If your gf decides to pull away over the actions of your brother, is her choice.. Means she wasn't really into you after all 😕 .

I can understand a little awkwardness happening, but it should really not be your problem.  Try to stop over thinking all of this.. Worry about your own.

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