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I've been together with my boyfriend for a little over a month (both 15) and im starting to think I am a lesbian. How do I tell him?


durk
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I've identified as bisexual since I was 12 and now im starting to question my sexuality more than ever. We have only been together for a month and he knows im bisexual (im pretty open about it) so I think there won't be an enormous amount of backlash. I told my friend (straight) about the situation and he said that he's very dissapointed in me since im basically leading him on and frankly that's the truth and I believe that I am the bad guy in this situation. I've been stressing out on how to break the news to my boyfriend for over 2-3 weeks.

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Teach yourself how to become skilled at telling people whenever things aren't working for you and it's best to stop seeing one another.

You don't need to tell this guy anything beyond that unless you want to.

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I suggest you don't mention the fact at all.

Just tell him that this isn't for you.. you're not 'feeling it'.  Is okay to break it off with someone and not feel the need to be 'completely honest', all the time.

And is always best to act asap.. not drag things on.

 

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5 hours ago, durk said:

I've identified as bisexual since I was 12 and now im starting to question my sexuality more than ever. We have only been together for a month and he knows im bisexual (im pretty open about it) so I think there won't be an enormous amount of backlash. I told my friend (straight) about the situation and he said that he's very dissapointed in me since im basically leading him on and frankly that's the truth and I believe that I am the bad guy in this situation. I've been stressing out on how to break the news to my boyfriend for over 2-3 weeks.

Is there someone else you have your eye on or would rather be with? 

Your sexuality is a different topic and can remain private if you’re still working things out. What you should decide on is whether this man you’re seeing is the right person for you and whether you’re compatible. I wouldn’t overcomplicate issues talking about sexuality. You’ve only been dating for 30+ days. 

Edited by Rose Mosse
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This is a run of the mill situation where you're not attracted to the person you are dating.  That's all you need to tell him.  The rest is TMI and since you believe you're still exploring your exploration could lead you in a variety of different paths so what is true today might not be next week. What is true is that for whatever reason you're not attracted to him and you don't want to date him. So simply say that and cut ties.

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When I was 15 dating someone lasted 2 weeks, so you wanting to move on after only a month is pretty normal. I agree you don't have to go into any details on your sexuality with him. It's really none of his business at this point. 

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23 hours ago, durk said:

 We have only been together for a month and he knows im bisexual (im pretty open about it) so I think there won't be an enormous amount of backlash.

I'm a little confused. If he already knows you're bisexual and so open about it, then surely telling him you're leaning more to lesbian shouldn't be that hard? Or am I missing something? 😐

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58 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

I'm a little confused. If he already knows you're bisexual and so open about it, then surely telling him you're leaning more to lesbian shouldn't be that hard? Or am I missing something? 😐

I guess because if she's bi she can still date him and she can't if she's lesbian?

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5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I guess because if she's bi she can still date him and she can't if she's lesbian?

But if she's lesbian, I am assuming she would lose interest in guys?   Lesbian - only into women. Bi - interested in both male/female.  Geez, now I have no idea. This is getting too confusing, lol.

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4 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

But if she's lesbian, I am assuming she would lose interest in guys?   Lesbian - only into women. Bi - interested in both male/female.  Geez, now I have no idea. This is getting too confusing, lol.

So I think that's the confusion -I thought she was now dating a guy and doesn't want to date him anymore because instead of being bi she wants to focus on being only with women.  I advised her not to overshare since many people choose to stop dating early on and it's implied that there's no real attraction -and she's not attracted to him -and is speculating it's because she is no longer bi and just into women.

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