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I’m anxious of where I stand with him. What does he think of me?


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20 hours ago, Arielle842772 said:

He’s the sweetest guy I’ve met and I can’t tell you how many times he’s gone out of his way for me. I just get a bit frustrated on how slow he’s taking things, but its better than the last a-holes I’ve dated who moved way too fast

What's the rush?  What's the big hurry?  Be glad that he's not reminiscent of the last _______ you've dated who moved way too fast. 

Develop and establish a great friendship which could take a while and get to know each other better. 

Perhaps he's shy and bashful.  Perhaps he's not worldly nor moves fast like the previous ________ you've dated who were too eager to act like a bunch of jerks. 

Don't give up on him just yet.  Give him a chance.  5 dates is nothing.  Give it time! 

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See how it goes and don’t rush it. Why do you need to hear someone else say you’re pretty? Of course you are. I’d give it a chance and if you are not feeling it or don’t feel attracted to him or whatever he’s got, move on. Don’t stay stuck there or wishing someone is different.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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1 hour ago, catfeeder said:

The more someone likes you, the more that is at stake.

That can make some people awfully nervous.

Try holding his hand when you walk together. Keep talking while doing so as though it's the most natural thing in the world.

I would but I don’t want to feel like I’m chasing him, and what if he thinks I’m desperate?

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9 minutes ago, Arielle842772 said:

I would but I don’t want to feel like I’m chasing him, and what if he thinks I’m desperate?

Why would he think you are desperate if you try to hold his hand?

It's a date. It's normal that there is some physical contact. And if he thinks you are desperate for him, then you know this is the wrong guy for you. 

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6 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Why would he think you are desperate if you try to hold his hand?

It's a date. It's normal that there is some physical contact. And if he thinks you are desperate for him, then you know this is the wrong guy for you. 

Because I’ve never initiated something like that. I usually let the guy initiate everything- except for this case since i did ask this guy out first

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1 minute ago, Arielle842772 said:

Because I’ve never initiated something like that. I usually let the guy initiate everything- except for this case since i did ask this guy out first

And in this case, the guy is quite inexperienced and not like other guys you have gone out with. 

As I said before, you are going to need to take the lead if you want things to move forward. And if you aren't comfortable with that, then this probably isn't the guy for you. 

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41 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

As I said before, you are going to need to take the lead if you want things to move forward. And if you aren't comfortable with that, then this probably isn't the guy for you. 

I agree.

OP you can give him a push yourself since he's young and inexperienced (like holding his hand and seeing how he reacts).

But by all means if you rather a guy initiates contact/flirting, then it's understandable and you can stop seeing him. You know and set your own pace and standard. Part of dating is learning about the pace you're comfortable with and not. And now you met others who were quick to touch but bad, so you know you can look next for a healthy pace/middle-ground.

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5 hours ago, Arielle842772 said:

!He hasn’t even called me pretty/cute yet. 

So do you think you're just friends or that he's not interested? 

He doesn't seem like the right boy for you. You seem to need more attention and reassurance that you're more than friends.

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5 hours ago, Arielle842772 said:

I would but I don’t want to feel like I’m chasing him, and what if he thinks I’m desperate?

Have you complimented him -I mean specifically and not just looks at all -has he complimented you in any way? I'm a fan of developing everything at once - I don't compartmentalize "friends first" when I was dating because to me that gives romance a negative connotation as if romance somehow impedes friendship -to me it enhances it in dating.  So - flirt, have approachable body language, hold his hand or put your hand on his arm while you're speaking, etc. 

Why do you need to be called cute and pretty? What else do you value about yourself that you would like other people to notice? What have you done in your interactions that show him you are a smart, caring and thoughtful person?

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Are you dating my boyfriend?  Lol.   5 dates and I called him to cancel the 6th.  Mostly due to a scheduling conflict.  But while I was at it, I told him that I didn't feel any momentum and it appeared we were stuck in a friendzone. 

He was driving at the time and asked to call me back while he needed to pull over and call me to talk more specifically.  Ultimately, he had made some choices in women that he regretted, didn't really trust himself and he was in actuality so interested in more with me, it made him very nervous.  We rescheduled the 6th date and the rest is history.

Not to say you should do this to force his hand. I was honestly moving on at time that my life was really hectic.  I didn't have anytime for someone who might only be looking for another friend.

Unless this is costing you anything, you have nothing to lose by giving this more time.  If you like him, give him a clue.  Sometimes it's hard to read each other and you don't know what to do.

Edited by reinventmyself
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6 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Have you complimented him -I mean specifically and not just looks at all -has he complimented you in any way? I'm a fan of developing everything at once - I don't compartmentalize "friends first" when I was dating because to me that gives romance a negative connotation as if romance somehow impedes friendship -to me it enhances it in dating.  So - flirt, have approachable body language, hold his hand or put your hand on his arm while you're speaking, etc. 

Why do you need to be called cute and pretty? What else do you value about yourself that you would like other people to notice? What have you done in your interactions that show him you are a smart, caring and thoughtful person?

Yeah. He said I was the best, we’ve both called each other smart, and he said I was very put together.

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52 minutes ago, Arielle842772 said:

Yeah. He said I was the best, we’ve both called each other smart, and he said I was very put together.

That's very nice! Do you tell him he looks nice? Make good eye contact? Avoid looking at your phone when you are with him? I think he is interested and also taking things at a reasonable pace.

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18 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

That's very nice! Do you tell him he looks nice? Make good eye contact? Avoid looking at your phone when you are with him? I think he is interested and also taking things at a reasonable pace.

Yeah I do all of those things, and I’ve noticed he’s especially happy when I give him subtle comments about his appearance. Just wish he would give some more back but he probably is just being careful!

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This guy is totally into you so relax on that front.

He is super nervous about screwing this thing up with you so it has him frozen.  I can just imagine the thoughts in his head as the end of the dates grow near.  Kiss or no kiss? Hug but how long?

 I would think you would find this refreshing after all the other guys just trying to get into your pants as fast as possible.

Please don't give up on him and help him along with getting closer physically.  He probably has never even kissed a girl yet so just imagine what he is going though.

 If you can ask a guy out you can surely reach for his hand while walking.

Let us know how it goes this evening, fingers crossed you both have fun and relax a little.

 Lost

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1 hour ago, Arielle842772 said:

We’re getting together tonight to watch the sunset- hoping it goes well. I’ll give an update 

That is romantic so hope it works out. Dont be afraid to push a bit, it might be what it needs for him to open.

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2 hours ago, Arielle842772 said:

We’re getting together tonight to watch the sunset- hoping it goes well. I’ll give an update 

😍 Well that's a romantic step!

You had a next date planned, so that's good. There's interest.

Have fun!

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WE KISSED! I said I wanted to keep things slow, and he said he was glad. The awkwardness was a lot less strong this time because we were being open with each other. I asked if he was nervous, and he said that he really was. I said that I'm glad he was at least being careful, and he told me to tell him if he ever did something wrong with me. He also hinted at wanting to meet my parents.

Im happy about all of this but am a little worried that I should have waited til after we became exclusive to kiss him.. but I hope I'm just overthinking that part.

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3 hours ago, Arielle842772 said:

WE KISSED! I said I wanted to keep things slow, and he said he was glad. The awkwardness was a lot less strong this time because we were being open with each other. I asked if he was nervous, and he said that he really was. I said that I'm glad he was at least being careful, and he told me to tell him if he ever did something wrong with me. He also hinted at wanting to meet my parents.

Im happy about all of this but am a little worried that I should have waited til after we became exclusive to kiss him.. but I hope I'm just overthinking that part.

Oh that sounds so romantic and sweet! Do you have a next date planned? Yes either of you can date or look to date others - and my sense is the conversation will come up likely by him as far as whether you two want to focus just on each other.

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I'm glad you got your answer that he's romantically interested. I've never heard of becoming exclusive before you kiss. Best to know if there's a spark when you do kiss, so you don't tie yourself to someone who doesn't inspire fireworks. 

He's now asked you out 6 times, so it's time for you to make some effort with asking him out and paying when you do.

When I was your age, I had to introduce every guy, on a first date, to my parents, but it was for safety, not because I was destined to marry the guy.

You might want to get to know him a few months more before deciding to become exclusive, but that's your call. People reveal more and more about themselves as time goes by, so you want to have a wait-and-see attitude before making major decisions.

Have fun!

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12 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Oh that sounds so romantic and sweet! Do you have a next date planned? Yes either of you can date or look to date others - and my sense is the conversation will come up likely by him as far as whether you two want to focus just on each other.

I’m hoping he’ll reach out this afternoon and plan one. I he dropped me off at almost 11 last night so I’m assuming he’ll ask today

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1 minute ago, Arielle842772 said:

I’m hoping he’ll reach out this afternoon and plan one. I he dropped me off at almost 11 last night so I’m assuming he’ll ask today

I agree with Andrina that it's your turn soon to plan a fun date.

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Chemistry needs to be revealed so don't be in a rush to become exclusive.

I also agree you need to ask him on a date.  Make it something simple and relaxing.

The kiss was just a kiss so don't worry about any implied eagerness or motives. You broke the ice and opened up to each other so well done!

  I am happy things went so well.

Have fun

Lost

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