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Why do I keep feeling Nostalgic about my ex boyfriend?


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In my other post I mentioned how my ex bf was just crazy and etc. Of course he wasn't always that way don't get me wrong our relationship was amazing tbh He treated me like a princess. Better than alot of my other exes treated me like, he was charming and sweet and wanted to spoil me. He even wanted me to meet his mom next year for junior year in high school. He was the best boyfriend that I personally ever had 🥲and then his crazy side came out when we broke up 5 weeks ago, I already knew he was crazy cause we've been best friends from the start so I already knew how he could be but I thought he has matured abit and those parts of him had changed but unfortun it didn't change 🙄. But now it's been a month since we parted and I've been feeling super nostalgic lately just re-reading our old texts or thinking about him whenever I see something funny that he would have laughed to, it's not bad nostalgic its all good happy memories of us together.  I do often wish that our breakup could have been different if he had just listened cause he's super stubborn and has such a big ass ego Smh😑. But why do I keep feeling nostalgic now??? like why now, why a month later esp when I'm moving on and as I said in my last posted getting hit on by so many guys so why now????🤔

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36 minutes ago, Lulu23 said:

In my other post I mentioned how my ex bf was just crazy and etc. Of course he wasn't always that way don't get me wrong our relationship was amazing tbh He treated me like a princess. Better than alot of my other exes treated me like, he was charming and sweet and wanted to spoil me. He even wanted me to meet his mom next year for junior year in high school. He was the best boyfriend that I personally ever had 🥲and then his crazy side came out when we broke up 5 weeks ago, I already knew he was crazy cause we've been best friends from the start so I already knew how he could be but I thought he has matured abit and those parts of him had changed but unfortun it didn't change 🙄. But now it's been a month since we parted and I've been feeling super nostalgic lately just re-reading our old texts or thinking about him whenever I see something funny that he would have laughed to, it's not bad nostalgic its all good happy memories of us together.  I do often wish that our breakup could have been different if he had just listened cause he's super stubborn and has such a big ass ego Smh😑. But why do I keep feeling nostalgic now??? like why now, why a month later esp when I'm moving on and as I said in my last posted getting hit on by so many guys so why now????🤔

You may be missing a toxic high/low dynamic that he brought into your life. 5 weeks is nothing by the way. Give it more time. 

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Is common that way, we'll feel & reminisce about the 'good 'ol days'. 

Just remember, the negatives are still there.. ( why you broke up, ( his crazy side).

So, it's okay, go through all of those emotions, as the negatives will also surface again.. Just keep reminding yourself 'why' the BU occurred. That it is done.

In time, you'll realize why it didn't work out & accept it all.

 

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I totally agree with SosSad.  We tend to hold on to the good memories and conveniently forget the bad.  Personally, I would not do this:  "...just re-reading our old texts or thinking about him whenever I see something funny that he would have laughed to..."

It serves no purpose whatsoever, other than to upset you and stress you out.  It hinders healing and you don't want that.  What you are feeling is normal but do your best to move on.  Time will help you to move on.   

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Guilty of doing this, after all people aren't all bad.   In a relationship we develop and emotional and psychical attachment to them.  It takes a period of time to detach.  Consider it normal and not confuse it that is some sign that he was "the one"

What helped me was to right down all the negative and forensic accounting of why the relationship failed to begin with.  When I catch myself putting blinders on and romanticizing it, I get out my list and reread it.

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You are nostalgic because you wish to have only the good parts of your ex bf and not the package deal which includes his unsavory personality and character.

I too think of some people in my life and the good times I've had with them.  These people include my cousin and sister in particular.  I have nostalgic memories of their good sides and fun times during an innocent era and different stage in life.  Unfortunately, I can't control whom they married, whom they were influenced and tainted courtesy of their insignificant others.  People change.  They don't think the same anymore nor speak and write.  They're more harsh and tense nowadays.  They're not happy.  Unhappy people are mean people.   The hardest part was accepting that this is now and not then anymore.  I don't enjoy coming to this conclusion but it's called remaining realistic today. 

Don't go backwards with your thoughts and memories.  Stop re-reading his texts because it's mentally unhealthy for you.  It's better to delete them since both of you parted ways.  No sense dredging up memories of someone you're no longer with.  He should be 'out of sight, out of mind.'  Someday he'll become a blur. 

Learn from negative experiences, afford to become more picky and choosy with whom you wish to associate with and create a new life for yourself.  This is how you get rid of nostalgia and find peace and happiness.  Surround yourself with high quality, very honorable people.  Everyone else is an automatic reject.

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