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Garden variety heartbreak grief

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1 hour ago, 1a1a said:

My Aunty gave up on love before I was even born, that’s over 35 years of her life alone, resigned to stay alone, and although she made the most of it I believe she was lonely. Never will I ever choose that path (even if the ones that don’t work out are brutally painful coming apart). 

You know that Gotye song about being cut off by your ex? That’s been in my head the last few days. (Except I appreciate that cutting off is actually a much more effective way of healing but the ‘now you’re just somebody that I used to know’ line hits home either way. )

He complains so much in that song.. I can't stand it. 😊

I agree with the others. As soon as his things are out of your place you'll feel much lighter. You're still mourning and it's okay to feel sad sometimes.

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She just didn’t have a romantic partner, but she spent a lot of time alone in her house in her later years and I got the impression it was not really by choice. (Although for the last 14 months of her life she reluctantly moved in with her sister and received round the clock care from said sibling. Which is about as far from alone as you can get). 

I am inexpressibly grateful for this space to howl and be heard and I really appreciate you all taking the time to post and nudge me onwards and upwards. 

Loosely, I think my plan is to go over seas, if I can find work, yay, if I can’t, shorter trip as a tourist, if I can land work on a cruise ship, best! If I can’t move myself on from this guy staying put, I think the trip will decisively end the chapter. (Although right now the silence stretches on and the grief waves are absent and it already feels like it’s been ended for a long time. But no doubt the sadness and anxiety will return. Psych apt tomorrow at least). 

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