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Dating social worker in an organisation i get help from


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I have a mental illness. I am a regular attendee at a community support organisation for my illness.

Recently I have gotten to know one of the staff social workers a bit better. Had a few heart to hearts. Lately, she has become a bit more 'up close and personal'. Whenever we do stuff together, she tends to stand/sit much closer than what a lot of ladies would be comfortable with. Serious body contact. Wouldn't have thought a lady would do that if she wasn't attracted to me.

Not that I mind - she's very pretty and I like her as a person. Would love to make a move. 

HOWEVER there are a couple of issues. 

1. Maybe I am reading the situation wrong.

2. If her boss became aware she was in a relationship with a client, she'd be fired immediately.

Anyone want to weigh in?

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17 minutes ago, tblackey said:

  If her boss became aware she was in a relationship with a client, she'd be fired immediately.

You're not dating. If you "make a move", you'll be discharged from the group.

It's ok to have a crush, but leave it at that. No one is going to risk losing their license to date clients.

Date in the general public.

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You attended this organization for some 'help'.

Do you honestly think some worker there is the best thing to take on at this time??

I suggest YOU back off and take no notice... And/Or, find somewhere else to seek your 'professional help'.  Because at this time, she is NOT.

Not impressed with this 😕 .  Steer clear.

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Personally I would be surprised if this social worker is trying to hit on you and deliberately trying to sit close. You're attracted to her and sometimes when we like someone, we read into their behaviour.

The fact that you had some hearts to hearts with her actually doesn't mean anything because it's literally her job to support you, listen to you and even maybe do some counselling. Opening up to people in these kinds of helping professions like social worker is exactly what their job entails. It would be different if you began having heart to hearts with a cleaner there or something because that would be more out if the ordinary, but this isn't.

I'm basically like a social worker and I've been working with people with mental illness and disabilities for 8 - 9 years now. I'm not going to lie, there maybe was one or two clients I found attractive or felt a good click but I would actually never date them or go any further with them at all than simply doing my job. Personally I see getting involved with a client with mental health struggles as A) Inappropriate and unprofessional; and B) In a sense taking "advantage" of them because you're in a sort of position of power towards them.

Also I'm sure that this community organisation and most community organisations have policies that staff are not allowed to date the clients. If they do I guarantee they would get fired.

When you work in the same industry for a while, you don't want to burn your bridges. I'd never date a client because in my industry people can know each other and even if you go to another job, people might know you did this. So really it's completely not worth it to date a client when you could just date literally anyone else who's not a client.

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On 6/11/2022 at 3:15 PM, SooSad33 said:

Not impressed with this 😕 .  

Not impressed with you either. But hey we can't all be as virtuous and noble as you are. Did you fall from heaven as an angel, or were you created in a labatory to be perfect from your first breath?

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2 minutes ago, tblackey said:

Not impressed with you either. But hey we can't all be as virtuous and noble as you are. Did you fall from heaven as an angel, or were you created in a labatory to be perfect from your first breath?

Being rude to other members here trying to help isn’t going to help solve your problem. No one knows you here and the advice is anonymous. The others have a very good point. Focus on the help you’re getting and the support from the meetings. 

You already have a strong instinct that going this route or making a “move” is inappropriate so don’t do it. You may get away with it with a slap on the wrist but she has to put up with a client who harasses her at work if you continue something like this. Treat your social workers professionally as you would dealing with anyone else who’s doing you a service. 

It may be disappointing and frustrating for you but it’s part of her job so leave it alone. I’d think about how productive this support group is too. Maybe you’re bored and have outgrown it or want to graduate to some other type of help and support.

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