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I have a crush on coworker that is leaving


Genie87
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Posted (edited)

Hello everyone,

I need a little advice. 34F.  So for a few months now l’ve been liking a guy from my work. I always thought he was very physically attractive, but we haven’t really had a chance to work together, because we always had opposite shifts. I caught him staring at me a few times and smiling at me, and l would smile back and his smile would get bigger.. he always treats me with so much kindness. He’s funny, kind  but also very reliable and respectful at work. I get butterflies every time he’s around. At times he’d make fun of my height for not being able to reach things (l’m quite petite), so could potentially mean that he likes me?  
In the office sometimes when we have meetings our eyes would just meet.
 

He is now leaving the company and l just found out his last day working with me was yesterday since l will be off for the next few days on his last day.  l never had a chance to even connect with him, - like ask his number or social media. I actually have his number in a work email so should l just text him? If so, what should l say? I don’t wanna lose touch, but l also don’t want to be come off desperate since we only worked together a few times . (I really like him though) 😄😄

Edited by Genie87
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Posted (edited)

I’d actually go up to him and acknowledge that he’s leaving and chat. It’s so much easier in person than wondering what to text or email. Just talk to him and see what he’s up to.

If he suggests keeping in touch then exchange numbers and text him later (a couple of weeks from now) to ask him how he’s doing. 

I don’t think height comments mean anything. He’s just a colleague at this point. Hope you both connect in person.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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16 minutes ago, Genie87 said:

I actually have his number in a work email so should l just text him? If so, what should l say? I don’t wanna lose touch, but l also don’t want to be come off desperate since we only worked together a few times .

Speaking for myself only, because you hardly really know each well and have only worked together a few times, I wouldn't contact him.  It would be way awkward (imo) and yes, possibly look rather desperate.  It's a crush. We all have them. And they eventually fade away.

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Lately we have worked together more and we communicated more and we both found out things that we had in common.  Like traveling , cooking, nature, family.. There was so much chemistry, we both couldn’t stop smiling during our conversation. 

 I’d like to think of it as just a “crush” that will go away, but l will dwell on the fact that what he did/does like me back? 

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2 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

I’d actually go up to him and acknowledge that he’s leaving and chat. It’s so much easier in person than wondering what to text or email. Just talk to him and see what he’s up to.

If he suggests keeping in touch then exchange numbers and text him later (a couple of weeks from now) to ask him how he’s doing. 

I don’t think height comments mean anything. He’s just a colleague at this point. Hope you both connect in person.

I wish l could see him in person one more time, l’d definitely at least try to connect on social media or something... but l’m off for the next two days and then he’s gone. My last chance was yesterday and we kinda hugged and he smiled at me  but then l got interrupted with work and got so busy that l didn’t even see him leave..

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Posted (edited)

I would have sent an email or text then hours ago after work or when you realized he’d left without you knowing. Just say something simple like, “Hey, sorry I didn’t see you leave. Looks like I’m off the next couple of days and won’t see you on your last day. Let’s keep in touch.” See what he responds with. 

Keep it short and simple. He can choose to overlook it if he’s not interested in keeping in touch and don’t take it personally too. 

Edited by Rose Mosse
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12 hours ago, Genie87 said:

Hello everyone,

I need a little advice. 34F.  So for a few months now l’ve been liking a guy from my work. I always thought he was very physically attractive, but we haven’t really had a chance to work together, because we always had opposite shifts. I caught him staring at me a few times and smiling at me, and l would smile back and his smile would get bigger.. he always treats me with so much kindness. He’s funny, kind  but also very reliable and respectful at work. I get butterflies every time he’s around. At times he’d make fun of my height for not being able to reach things (l’m quite petite), so could potentially mean that he likes me?  
In the office sometimes when we have meetings our eyes would just meet.
 

He is now leaving the company and l just found out his last day working with me was yesterday since l will be off for the next few days on his last day.  l never had a chance to even connect with him, - like ask his number or social media. I actually have his number in a work email so should l just text him? If so, what should l say? I don’t wanna lose touch, but l also don’t want to be come off desperate since we only worked together a few times . (I really like him though) 😄😄

See if he is on LinkedIn because that is an appropriate way to connect with people professionally.  Then if he is interested in seeing you he will reach out.  I am married but once my office started being more involved with LinkedIn I've made it a habit of sending linkedin invites when we have interns (not right when they start but later on, and before they leave) because I want to keep my network growing and often they do too so the invitation is completely appropriate.  And sure if someday that results in a friendship all the better. 

I also add people who start working with us full time -including, yes, men (and yes even if they happen to be single, etc).  It's a great way to connect appropriately.  If he doesn't have Linkedin I'd text something like "I wanted to wish you all the best in whatever your next adventure is and certainly stay in touch if you like!"

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Thank you all for the advice, he is single and mentioned that several times around me. But l think l’ll let it go there was no indications that he wants to keep in touch and that’s the best thing for me to do. 

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