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How to forgive yourself for mistakes


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I forgive myself for past mistakes by learning from them and navigating myself more wisely and shrewdly from this day forward.  This is how you mature and grow up. 

Bad experiences were not all in vain.  Use bad, negative memories as a tool to better yourself, make smart choices or afford to become picky and choosier with whom you wish to associate with or not. 

You are not the same person you were 10 years ago.  You will not be the same person 10 years from now or less than 10 years from now.  As you grow older, you'll become stronger, tougher, more resilient and more intelligent. 

As you grow older, you'll become less emotional.  Emotion clouds your judgment.  You will see things clearly and logically.  You will become reasonable with yourself which will dictate how you behave in the future. 

You forgive yourself by knowing you can't undo nor change the past.  All you can do is readjust and do what is sensible for yourself and others while remaining fair to yourself. 

You forgive yourself by not caring what others think of you.  When I was younger or even 5 or 10 years ago, I was always afraid of what other people thought of me and resigned myself into feeling obligated for appearance's sake.  I'm not the same person I was.  I go my own way without caring about what other people think. 

If I don't like a person or persons, I avoid them.  If we share mutual social circles, I spend time and money on people whom I care about on my own time, separately and on my own terms.  There is always a workaround.  You're not bound to do anything only one way.  There are other choices in this life and other avenues to take. 

I have guilt and regret about how I've behaved towards others in the past.  Unfortunately, due to my actions, some relationships went awry.  I've since learned from my mistakes and know what to do nowadays.  I enforce a lot of boundaries for myself and others.  I try to maintain peace and decorum.  I practice good diplomacy.  I know how to stay safe.  I look at people with a new lens.  I use my intuition a lot.  I only associate with conscientious people.  I avoid aggressive, highly emotionally charged, dramatic types. 

You forgive yourself by not giving yourself time to dwell on negativity.  Get busy.  Work hard, get fit, take good care of your health, you don't have to run a marathon.  Stay active, surround yourself with only high quality, very moral people.  This is how you move on.  Don't give yourself time and energy to pout and mope.  Then you'll truly move on, be happy with yourself and with your life. 

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It happens... we all do things we may regret but in time accept, learn from it and move on with our lives.

You said.. you were young.  Fine.

BUT, how I see it, is you two should not have 'tried again'.  The damage was done.  And I am sorry you became her emotional pillow 😕 .

Sometimes, when we're hurt, things cant be repaired. Honestly, you two 'were on a break'!  ( phrase very common as well in 'Friends' 😉 ).  So, you don't owe her anything.. If she found it all so painful, that's on her... She could have admitted it's done now and you both could have moved on. But no, instead you trudged along, experiencing that 'guilt'.

My first ex was with my best friend before we ended up together and I can't remember IF he ever knew that had affected me.  Either way, yeah we spent a good few yrs together, and was just something I had to deal with on my own as that was 'my issue'.

Yes, we get hurt sometimes by those we're emotionally involved with.  Can't help that.  So, I think this is just something you now have to work on getting through.  That you technically didn't cheat at all... But, you had to deal with HER emotions/damages. ( Like I said, would have been best to just be done- not let it carry). 

So.. give it time to work through this. And you will be okay again and not even care! 😉 .

 

 

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