Why do I waste my time

[Rose Mosse]

4 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Try looking at women as the beautiful creatures they are that confound us, surprise us, drive us crazy with passion and frustration.  They are smart, funny, vulnerable and strong all at the same time but if your view is all one sided they will see right through you.

And if my day wasn't going so well... I'd say! What a nice thing to read. 

[Tinydance]

I'd like to just share my experience as a reasonably attractive woman if anyone cares to listen lol I've always had guys trying to have sex with me. This includes guys on dating apps, guys at bars, parties, even some male friends or friends of friends. Believe it or not, even average women or women you might consider below your standards, still have opportunities to have sex or even date. It's actually quite easy as a woman to get sex. So most women aren't just going to immediately have sex with some guy they just met. Especially if the guy considers her beneath him, please don't think that's not obvious.

Personally I'd be more likely to have sex with a guy who is really nice to me, actually gets to know me and goes on a date. Or at least someone I already knew and I feel comfortable with him.

Yes it sucks you gotta put in the hard work and actually talk for a woman for two hours but I think unfortunately that's what you're going to have to do. At the end of the two hours of talking she still doesn't actually OWE you sex. Even a woman you went on a date with doesn't owe you sex. And even if she's unattractive she doesn't owe you sex. They'll choose to have sex with you if they liked you.

If you're just sitting in a bar blind drunk and talking to a woman you're not even into, I don't think you're exactly the most appealing candidate to have sex with.

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Yes it sucks you gotta put in the hard work and actually talk for a woman for two hours but I think unfortunately that's what you're going to have to do. At the end of the two hours of talking she still doesn't actually OWE you sex. Even a woman you went on a date with doesn't owe you sex. And even if she's unattractive she doesn't owe you sex. They'll choose to have sex with you if they liked you.

But he's comparing this to looking for women to date.  He wasn't. He wasn't rejected (even if that happens if a stranger declines a date) for dating purposes -she simply didn't want to have sex with him.  It's a different kind of hard work if the goal is to get to know a person to see if a date should happen - sometimes it is hard work -but all he did was spend money on someone he wasn't that attracted to so he might get laid.  I really am concerned that any of what he did or decided is being compared to meeting people to date.  Nothing at all to do with that and her declining to have sex has nothing to do with whether she might have at a different time, in a different context, sober, have agreed to go on a proper date with him - depending on how he interacted with her and approached her.  

[smackie9]

It doesn't look attractive to a woman seeing a guy by himself in a bar. They know his purpose is to get laid, especially with the buying of drinks, and idle chat.

[mwacuk]

I'd avoid bars or online dating entirely to meet women, have a wide social circle from family, friends, colleagues etc and you'll meet enough people through them to last you a lifetime

[waffle]

4 hours ago, smackie9 said:

It doesn't look attractive to a woman seeing a guy by himself in a bar. They know his purpose is to get laid, especially with the buying of drinks, and idle chat.

BINGO!

This lady wasn't fooled.  She took advantage of the free drinks and then said See Ya.

[reinventmyself]

Just a curious question.  If this woman who turned you down was attractive, would it make a difference?

She may not have been attractive to you, but she has standards and considers her time valuable.  It appears that she has self esteem.

It might simply be helpful if you viewed your time as valuable and chose to spend it wisely with some purpose - hence your title 'why do I waste my time'

Also give some thought to how you measure your worth or anyone else's.  Is it measured by status and looks? Or as you put it, those that you know who aren't as successful, yet have stellar social skills and meaningful relationships (not those words exactly)

I am not trying to pick on you . .it just these things we often to need to think about.  I hope writing this all down has been helpful to you.