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Stressed no matter what I do


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sooo stressed.. i am in a job where I work all the time.. all day.. then get calls at night and weekends.. I just worked all night Sat into Sun. then called again Sun. afternoon and worked all day.. this is killing me. Also, the company is not doing well financially at all and has been downsizing over the last few years.

Due to this, I started looking for a new job.. I had an interview at a company and accepted a job. The company is a very good one with very good pay... The role is not what I really want to do and it as well comes with a LOT of pressure and responsibility.. but.. it is a job where you do not get called at night or weekends. My thought is I just need to get out of my current place..

My question is.. am I doing the right thing by taking the new job even though I think the role is over my head and has pressure but is a 9-5 m-f job? If it doesn't work out I continue to look?

FYI - my wife says I need to get out of my current company asap as its stressing out our marriage from all the nights and weekend escalation calls.

I wish I had the mindset of - Im excited for the new job challenge and if it doesn't work out I will get a lot of experience from it even if I do have to move on in 6months to a year. If it does work out then great.. 

But the only thing in my mindset is im going to crash and burn as Im getting into a role that is over my head. 

Stressed no matter what I do

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1 minute ago, canada12 said:

my wife says I need to get out of my current company asap as its stressing out our marriage from all the nights and weekend escalation calls.

Yes. If you hate your job and it's creating issues in your personal life, then you made the right call taking the new position.

Why stay stuck in a bad job out of anxiety? You'll feel better physically and mentally once you start the new job.

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3 minutes ago, canada12 said:

My question is.. am I doing the right thing by taking the new job even though I think the role is over my head and has pressure but is a 9-5 m-f job? If it doesn't work out I continue to look?

Yes. Totally. Keep applying for better roles after you catch your breath at your new job.

Your current job will burn you out mentally and physically... If if hasn't already. Life is too short to live so stressed out and miserably.

>>You got this. I think you will do great in your new role and you will adjust with time to the tasks and requirements.

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This 24/7 on call life is not for you and it is ok (I basically had that for 15 years - and it was worth it to me for a variety of reasons but I also worked in a 24/7 toxic environment and so I know the difference and I too was desperate to leave -luckily I was able to after a year). I would take the new role if you think you can stay at least 6 months-year for resume reasons.  It will be good to destress if it's 9 to 5.  Make sure it's truly 9 to 5.  Also take it if it will look good on your resume.  

I think it's much easier to look for the great fit job while you have a job so yes I would take it. Best of luck and sorry you feel so stressed out!

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4 hours ago, canada12 said:

sooo stressed.. i am in a job where I work all the time.. all day.. then get calls at night and weekends.. I just worked all night Sat into Sun. then called again Sun. afternoon and worked all day.. this is killing me. Also, the company is not doing well financially at all and has been downsizing over the last few years.

Due to this, I started looking for a new job.. I had an interview at a company and accepted a job. The company is a very good one with very good pay... The role is not what I really want to do and it as well comes with a LOT of pressure and responsibility.. but.. it is a job where you do not get called at night or weekends. My thought is I just need to get out of my current place..

My question is.. am I doing the right thing by taking the new job even though I think the role is over my head and has pressure but is a 9-5 m-f job? If it doesn't work out I continue to look?

FYI - my wife says I need to get out of my current company asap as its stressing out our marriage from all the nights and weekend escalation calls.

I wish I had the mindset of - Im excited for the new job challenge and if it doesn't work out I will get a lot of experience from it even if I do have to move on in 6months to a year. If it does work out then great.. 

But the only thing in my mindset is im going to crash and burn as Im getting into a role that is over my head. 

Stressed no matter what I do

You've already accepted it so see where it leads. I think your nerves are frayed from the previous job and you haven't had much of a break. It's causing this anxiety. Start the new position fresh and ask questions where appropriate when you're training, get enough rest and sleep, eat well and have proper nutrition and insist on a good diet. Let us know how it goes. 

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9 hours ago, canada12 said:

My question is.. am I doing the right thing by taking the new job even though I think the role is over my head and has pressure but is a 9-5 m-f job? If it doesn't work out I continue to look?

I'd say yes! At least for now, as you now realize your present job is ridiculous!  One deserves some 'down time', away from the workplace.

For sure, consider taking on this new one, at least for now and get out of that crazy hell hole 😕 .

Maybe take a week or two break - vacay - for yourself before you begin the next one... Worst thing to do is lose yourself due to your work.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Thanks everyone for the responses. this is a great site!

Here is an update.. I actually had to decline the new job(i only verbally accepted the job) this was due to a family member being diagnosed with a terminal illness at exactly the same time that I verbally accepted the position. I didnt know how much time i needed to support this family member. But all said and done, I told the company I couldn't accept the job due to unforeseen circumstances with my family and I didn't want to put a new manager / company through me not being sure how available I would be in a new role physically and mentally. I never told them what the actual reason was. 

They said they understood and actually said they would wait 2months and keep the position open for me but I still said I couldn't accept it as I just couldn't commit to something at that time and mentally I was not in a good place. 

We saw some experts and did more testing.. my family member still has the terminal illness but the drs expect that its at an intermediate state and he could have anywhere from 2-5 years life expectancy. this is much better news than the few months initially expected. This is a rare bone cancer they were diagnosed with.

With that said - When I applied to that new company originally, i applied to two different positions. The one that I had to turn down.. and now the second application that i put in.. that department has just reached out to me for an interview. 

My question - now that i am in a better place mentally to make a job change.. would I be making a bad impression to the company or pissing people off if I now take a role at the same company but in a different department? 

On the original offer they were willing to wait 2month but I still turned it down.. Now 1-2 months later I show up at the company where I accepted a different role. Would this piss off the original people that made me the offer? I wouldnt want to go in already with a bad reputation in the company. 

It seems they are different departments but it seems they all kinda know each other. 

Thanks.. any suggestions would be helpful. 

 

Edited by canada12
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On 5/16/2022 at 6:01 AM, canada12 said:

my wife says I need to get out of my current company asap as its stressing out our marriage from all the nights and weekend escalation calls.

How will turning down the position affect your marriage and finances? It sounds like you never wanted it in the first place but applied to keep the peace?

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Correct.. after thinking about that position it really wasn't what I was looking for and didnt feel comfortable accepting it. As far as my wife, she wants to make sure Im comfortable with any decision we make for a new role. She does want me out of my current company as its still stressful.  Financially ok as I am still at my current company but still working a lot of hrs. 

 

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2 hours ago, canada12 said:

Thanks everyone for the responses. this is a great site!

Here is an update.. I actually had to decline the new job(i only verbally accepted the job) this was due to a family member being diagnosed with a terminal illness at exactly the same time that I verbally accepted the position. I didnt know how much time i needed to support this family member. But all said and done, I told the company I couldn't accept the job due to unforeseen circumstances with my family and I didn't want to put a new manager / company through me not being sure how available I would be in a new role physically and mentally. I never told them what the actual reason was. 

They said they understood and actually said they would wait 2months and keep the position open for me but I still said I couldn't accept it as I just couldn't commit to something at that time and mentally I was not in a good place. 

We saw some experts and did more testing.. my family member still has the terminal illness but the drs expect that its at an intermediate state and he could have anywhere from 2-5 years life expectancy. this is much better news than the few months initially expected. This is a rare bone cancer they were diagnosed with.

With that said - When I applied to that new company originally, i applied to two different positions. The one that I had to turn down.. and now the second application that i put in.. that department has just reached out to me for an interview. 

My question - now that i am in a better place mentally to make a job change.. would I be making a bad impression to the company or pissing people off if I now take a role at the same company but in a different department? 

On the original offer they were willing to wait 2month but I still turned it down.. Now 1-2 months later I show up at the company where I accepted a different role. Would this piss off the original people that made me the offer? I wouldnt want to go in already with a bad reputation in the company. 

It seems they are different departments but it seems they all kinda know each other. 

Thanks.. any suggestions would be helpful. 

 

I don’t see why it would matter. You didn’t know when you’d be available next. I’m sorry to hear about your family member’s illness. 

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1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said:

I don’t see why it would matter. You didn’t know when you’d be available next. I’m sorry to hear about your family member’s illness. 

Thank you very much!

Yeah that is what I hope they understand. Sometimes I worry so much about what other people think.. or the what "if" syndrome.

Thanks!

 

 

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1 hour ago, canada12 said:

Thank you very much!

Yeah that is what I hope they understand. Sometimes I worry so much about what other people think.. or the what "if" syndrome.

Thanks!

 

 

That's ok. Remember that it's a job and they need a job done. It's not a social call for example.

I agree with you that some employers can be sensitive and unprofessional when it comes to hiring or employment. Good luck with the interview coming up. 

If you run into others in other departments and get the job, be cordial and professional only and if they are so bold as to inquire, you can acknowledge that you were ready to work earlier than expected and jumped at the opportunity to work for the company as you know it's a good one. 

Stay positive!

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