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Why my ex wished me happy birthday?


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After the breakup we did not communicate with each other.After we broke up she said: I don’t feel sad, I don’t care about you, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Two weeks after that she started a new relationship(or friendship, I dunno) with another guy. When we saw each other on the street, we did not even say “hello”, but when I saw her she freaked out. Also after 3 weeks after our breakup she deleted all comments/likes under my IG pics. After two month of no contact she congratulated me, I answered with simple "thank you". After some time her best friend wished me happy birthday as well, with whom I almost did not communicate (after the breakup did not communicate at all) also congratulated me.I’m sure they were together at that moment. I believe my ex in rebound long-distance relationship. ( she seems to be happy). I don’t understand such behaviour 😞

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1 hour ago, JaredBrooks said:

. After two month of no contact she congratulated me, I answered with simple "thank you". After some time her best friend wished me happy birthday as well, 😞

You need to delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

You're trying to decipher things in a way that you believe she wants to reconcile. However a breakup is the end of a relationship, not the beginning .

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18 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

She was just being courteous.

Probably you’re right. But I don’t understand why she forced her best friend to do the same. That’s weird, don’t you think?

18 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

What she does is no longer your business. She belongs to the past now.

Totally agree with you.

18 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Keep moving forward and focus on being a better person!

I’m trying😅. I’ve already achieved a huge results in my career after breakup. I’m not texting her, not checking her IG page, online status etc. but her actions makes me feel anxious.

Thank you for your reply!

 

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5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You're trying to decipher things in a way that you believe she wants to reconcile. However a breakup is the end of a relationship, not the beginning .

You’re right.

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You need to delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

When I deleted the chat with her, she immediately texted me. I seems to me she somehow will do the same thing if I will block her.

Thank you, for you reply!

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You are reading way too much into it. Especially from someone who said how she doesnt care about you at all. Its OK, you will need time to accept its over. But you will need to stop imaginative scenarios. You cant relapse just because she remembered birthday.

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6 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

You are reading way too much into it. Especially from someone who said how she doesnt care about you at all.

I admit it. 

10 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Its OK, you will need time to accept its over. But you will need to stop imaginative scenarios.

every time I think that she's finally gone from my life, she does something that makes me think about her again. Maybe that's why she does it. Thanks for the answer. I will try not to think about her at all.

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Posted (edited)

You can't control someone else or the way they respond to you especially in a personal sense. What you can do is be respectful of each other if there's any semblance of mutual respect remaining. Birthday messages and special occasions are renowned gray areas. Some will message, some won't. Some care, others don't. 

You both were in a relationship together and it ended so depending on the terms or how it ended, it's up to the both of you to respect the break up and each others' privacy. Some prefer not to have any contact with their exes and ask for that privacy directly. It's a request for boundaries without having to be forceful about those boundaries or telling someone off. If you've never been verbal or clear about asserting your boundaries in the past now's a good time. 

Try distancing yourself a little and reconsider whether it's best to ask for that privacy based on mutual respect. If you don't have any respect for one another or can't trust her, then block and delete her contact on social media. Be a little less passive in this. You can move on if you want to but it doesn't happen on a whim or miraculously. Put in the work and move forward.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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On 5/14/2022 at 6:25 AM, JaredBrooks said:

I admit it. 

every time I think that she's finally gone from my life, she does something that makes me think about her again. Maybe that's why she does it. Thanks for the answer. I will try not to think about her at all.

Trying not to think about her -or whatever -is a fruitless endeavor.  Instead stay busy, productive, active - when you do that thoughts like those might happen but sort of hang out in the periphery -they'll be there and you'll choose not to focus as you'll be occupied with other things.

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Posted (edited)
20 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

If you don't have any respect for one another or can't trust her, then block and delete her contact on social media.

I don’t have any respect for her

20 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

You can move on if you want to but it doesn't happen on a whim or miraculously.

Thank you for your honesty. 
I will block her, and I’ll try to move forward without any thoughts about her.

Thank you for your reply!

Edited by JaredBrooks
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1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Instead stay busy, productive, active - when you do that thoughts like those might happen but sort of hang out in the periphery -they'll be there and you'll choose not to focus as you'll be occupied with other things.

Yeah, I totally agree with you. Staying productive helps a lot. Thank you for your reply! I will definitely choose not to focus on her! 

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20 minutes ago, JaredBrooks said:

Yeah, I totally agree with you. Staying productive helps a lot. Thank you for your reply! I will definitely choose not to focus on her! 

Again the choice is to keep yourself busy and productive.  I wouldn't try to choose "not to focus" on thoughts of her. If the thoughts come allow them to exist.  While you stay busy and productive.  Also 4-7-8 breathing Weil method -google it -helps a lot with redirection.

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On 5/14/2022 at 12:00 PM, JaredBrooks said:

But I don’t understand why she forced her best friend to do the same.

Why do you think she forced her?

Perhaps her best friend did it on her own. It wouldn't be unheard of. She might have simply realized it was your birthday and was trying to be friendly and kind. That's all. 

As the others pointed out, try not to read into it. It doesn't appear as though any good will come of being in any kind of contact with your ex, so it's best to leave this behind you. 

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11 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Why do you think she forced her?

Perhaps her best friend did it on her own. It wouldn't be unheard of. She might have simply realized it was your birthday and was trying to be friendly and kind. That's all.

It was an incredibly big message.I do not think they text such messages to people they do not care about. I am sure that they were together at that moment.(my ex almost every day at that hour was at home with her best friend).When we broke up with my ex, I texted her best friend. It was the only time we communicated. As it turned out, she showed my messages to my ex, after that I had no desire to text her again. I think they thought that I would ask her best friend about my ex. I think they did it to just raise her self-esteem ( once again, they wanted to know that I still have feelings to her)  In fact, you are absolutely right. Why once again I think about her? If she wanted to return, she would try at least to continue the conversation after the congratulations. This did not happen, so everything is clear here. Most likely you are right, and she just congratulated me. Sometimes a banana is just a banana and I need to stop myself from overthinking.

Thank you for your reply!

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12 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Also 4-7-8 breathing Weil method -google it -helps a lot with redirection.

Sound really interesting! I’ll definitely try.

12 hours ago, Batya33 said:

If the thoughts come allow them to exist

I'm just shocked that she just a week after the break up began to communicate with other guys. Because of this in my head constantly twisting thoughts: Perhaps she lied to me, perhaps she didn’t love me at all, and I was a fool and did not notice it. For me this situation is complicated, because I do not see an obvious answer.She is obviously not the best of my exes and I do not understand why I am so crazy on her

Thank you for your reply.

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20 hours ago, JaredBrooks said:

I don’t have any respect for her

Thank you for your honesty. 
I will block her, and I’ll try to move forward without any thoughts about her.

Thank you for your reply!

That answers everything and anything you will ever need to know about how to conduct yourself around this person. Yes, block the contact. Even if she shows interest in you again, there's lack of respect on your part and she's not someone you can look to or admire in the least. No friendship or relationship is viable without respect, sadly. 

Good of you to move on.

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