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Does my grad school crush have a crush on me back


ATYD
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So ever since starting my masters in architecture, I have this course mate in my class who I have found quite sweet and attractive. I haven't dated in a while, as I came out of a long term relationship about a year ago, so I'm not sure if there's a certain energy between us, or it can just be normal friendly behaviour. Also as I only have ever dated African men, I am not sure how to read British men in all honesty, and what will be the right approach, so I don't come on too strong, as I still have to see him all the time till we graduate.  

We tend to have after class drinks as a group on Fridays, and there was one occasion where we chatted one on one for a while and he stressed I shouldn't go, as he just wants to order another drink at the bar and was really enjoying our conversation.  Because of the intensity of the course I don't get to see him so much, but every time I see him we acknowledge each other quite cheerfully, and just talk if time allows it. 

The other night we all went out to celebrate after a deadline, and went on a bit of a bar crawl. At some point in the evening, the both of us were walking a bit behind the rest of the group and where just chatting the way we would normally. And these group of drunk ladies approached us asking if we were a couple; we both said no we are just out with a group, and they kept saying how they sensed a vibe and tried to get a different response. We both got quite embarrassed by it and didn't say so much, then the ladies then apologised and left. Right after neither of us really acknowledged it and it was a bit awkward. Meanwhile, the rest of our class decided to go home, so we decided to get cabs home. He then held my hand and kissed it goodnight. 

I messaged him when I got home to check he was home, and he seemed quite chatty despite it being 4 in the morning, until we both fell asleep. I decided to follow him on insta the next day- that was back towards the end of February. Ever since deadlines have been quite intense, so we hung out during one of our course night outs and we had a nice one on one talks, about family, culture, starwars(lol) and about my home country; and asked where I'd take him if he visited. Later that night he offered to buy me a drink and commented on how smart I was. At the end of the night we texted for about a day and didn't see each other much after.  Fast-forward to End of April and he sort of slid into my DMs commenting on my fashion style , where we were back and forth texting for a couple days straight. At the moment texting had slowed down cause of more deadlines, but I finally saw him in a year group meeting, and again, we talked one on one as we always do, where he even asked me to go to a separate place to have a look at his models and commented on how he loves to see my work. 

I guess writing this makes me think he may like me back, as although sparse we always enjoy each others company and he may also not fully know how to approach it either ( as I don't think he's dated non- British women / African women before ). But again, as a lot of our texts just sort of end abruptly, and we've never suggested going out outside uni, and nothing has been really said I don't want to look stupid, as it seems he sort of admires my work and is also quite friendly towards me. Please help, cause Im honestly so shy and I dont really know if/how to go about this

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, ATYD said:

I don't come on too strong, as I still have to see him all the time till we graduate.  

Sounds as though he recognizes the same boundary. If he goes too intense with you, he could end up regretting it for the duration of the program.

So? I'd regard him as a coworker for the time being and keep things light, humorous, comfortable and not overtly flirty.

If you can pull that off, you may both find yourselves enjoying one another beyond the course, but meanwhile, you'll enjoy getting to know one another well enough to cross that line easily enough once the time is appropriate.

EnjOy!

Edited by catfeeder
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I remember the story from last thread. I think he maybe does with compliments and all. However, it doesnt mean a thing when neither one of you is willing to progress it by maybe going for coffee or drinks(or tea, heard English people enjoy those lol). Its a weird limbo and it shouldnt mean anything to you or to him unless concrete steps are done to progress it. 

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9 hours ago, ATYD said:

I guess writing this makes me think he may like me back. Im honestly so shy and I dont really know if/how to go about this

He probably does like and respect you very much, however that may not mean in a romantic sense. There really is nothing to do since he has not specifically asked you out.

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When will you graduate?

He doesn't sound like the shy type, since he kissed your hand and asked you to stay longer at the bar. So in my mind, he likes you, but not enough to ask you out.

With that comment about where you would take him in your country if he visited, is it because you are expected to move back there after graduation? That could be a reason he isn't asking you out.

That said, once you're at the point where you're graduating, you could always ask him  something like, "I've enjoyed getting to know you, and would like to treat you to a celebratory dinner." 

Whatever happens will give you the answers you need.

You have to be vulnerable and risk opening your heart to people, even if it doesn't pan out the way you hoped. The alternative is never taking risks and therefore never going for what you want.

If it's a no from him, you can then emotionally move on. If it's a yes, then you will have steered your life in the direction you want it to go. Take care.

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I'd also want to know whether you have plans to stay in the UK. He may not be interested in dating foreign students. That's anyone's personal choice. Aside from the little you seem to know or see about him, he only seems like quite a bit of a flirt. 

 

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