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Should I keep this guy? Should I pretend that I didn't hear anything and let it pass? Should I confront him that I heard all this things..


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When a guy told me that I'm acting like a spoiled girl to his co-worker and my mom heard that, what should I do?

should I keep this guy? That guy is currently in serious commitment for marriage with me.. 

Should I pretend that I didn't hear anything and let it pass? Should I confront him that I heard all this things..

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 IMO it's normal private conversation. Obviously your reaction to something is what he commented on. Harmless. He didn't say YOU WERE a spoiled girl, he said you acted like one. That's a big difference. 

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9 minutes ago, Caramella said:

When a guy told me that I'm acting like a spoiled girl to his co-worker and my mom heard that, what should I do?

How long have you been dating? How old is he? Do you work together? 

Yes, ask him what, exactly he meant by the comment.

Be prepared for him to deny it. Verify it with your mother? Do your parents like him?

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35 minutes ago, Caramella said:

When a guy told me that I'm acting like a spoiled girl to his co-worker and my mom heard that, what should I do?

should I keep this guy? That guy is currently in serious commitment for marriage with me.. 

Should I pretend that I didn't hear anything and let it pass? Should I confront him that I heard all this things..

All that matters is whether you think you acted out of line and whether you think that his wagging tongue is appropriate in regards to sharing personal details about his relationship with a coworker. 

This is inappropriate in my opinion. Choose your company wisely, especially the people you spend the most time around.

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What is the context? Are there truth in his words? Complaining to his colleague how his future wife is spoiled is not really something you should break off your engagement. Again, it depends on the context but maybe he was just venting, or just complaining over some minor issue. 

You could ask him, that is not a problem. However it could lead over a bigger fight. Over what could be something very minor. For example, my friend always tells that about his girlfriend. Who grow up "overprotected" so now she is not that independant and acts out spoilish sometimes. But he loves her and did accept that and even moved in with her. Nobody of us is perfect, we all have our own flaws. But if you are bothered, yes, you should talk to him about it. 

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1 minute ago, Rose Mosse said:

This is inappropriate in my opinion. Choose your company wisely, especially the people you spend the most time around.

Agree. If he's trashing you behind you're back, you can't trust him and he's being two-faced if he's nice to your face and passive-aggressive, gossiping about you in a negative way. Confront him

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When it comes to something like this I usually let the situation play out so I can accurately gauge that person's actions and intentions. 

The truth is when it gets to the point where a grown man is confiding in a coworker or venting, slandering you around not just his peers but within his professional realm (that's two boundaries broken, one within the relationship and second, he behaves unprofessionally), it's not a discussion anymore and I wouldn't confront him until I've made up my mind that it's finished.

I'd rethink the engagement and what his intentions to marry you are for. If it's to treat you like his property, I think you have some decisions to make. 

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I mean, I told a coworker years ago that I sometimes dreamed about shoving my husband off a cliff when he made me angry. I certainly would never do such a thing, but I was venting. She said the same thing happened to her too. It didn't mean I didn't love and respect my husband. He just ticked me off sometimes, as people we love will sometimes do. If he overheard, yes, I presume he wouldn't be happy. But I would have been surprised if he chose to divorce me over that comment.

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Posted (edited)

I agree with 'everyone vents''. It's normal, not necessarily a reason to end all with your partner.

I'm sure you've said something as well to a friend when you two have had an argument or you were upset sometimes?

But, no, I don't see something like that reason enough to end things.  There's plenty worse reasons to end a relationship.

And, as someone else mentioned, is there maybe a reason why he'd say this?  Maybe you two should just talk this out, so you can get it dealt with and not have it sit on you so heavily.  (just bring it up in conversation sometime, when you two are alone, that he was over heard saying that and ask him what he meant and IF he feels you are like this.. If he does, then maybe there is something that needs to be worked out). 

Edited by SooSad33
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I don't really understand the context. Were you being nasty to his coworker?

He confronted you about something important to him and his work relationships, and it's up to to you consider whether there was truth to his comment.

If so, I'd apologize to him rather than dump him.

I wouldn't allow my ego to prevent me from learning things from the people who love me.

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On 5/12/2022 at 10:48 AM, Caramella said:

When a guy told me that I'm acting like a spoiled girl to his co-worker and my mom heard that, what should I do?

should I keep this guy? That guy is currently in serious commitment for marriage with me.. 

Should I pretend that I didn't hear anything and let it pass? Should I confront him that I heard all this things..

Maybe this is the way you choose to write -it's only typing -but yet - what is this really about - do you "keep" him and does he "keep you?"  He's in a serious commitment for marriage but -do you love him? Does he love you? Show it in a loving way? Do you typically "confront" him or do you guys talk things over?  There's a difference.  Is it possible you were acting in a high maintenance/difficult way? Even if so of course he shouldn't be gossiping/venting in this way but I'm not sure why your mom reported on this to you.  Does she eavesdrop on his work conversations?

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