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What does he want from me?


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Why does a ex fling that I only went on one date with which ended in us ghosting each other, keep trying to add me on social media? He’s been requesting to add me for several months. I’ll add him on Snapchat and he won’t say anything? What’s the point in trying to add me on socials ??? Every month ? Even though I remove him? 

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4 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

. I’ll add him on Snapchat and he won’t say anything? What’s the point in trying to add me on socials ??? Every month ? Even though I remove him? 

Manage your social media better. Delete and block useless dead weight including jerks like this from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Reset your privacy settings and be careful about your content and who has access to what.

Get involved in real life more. Join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get involved in sports and fitness, take some classes and courses. Make some real life friends.

Is this the same guy?:

 

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8 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

I believe you have asked this same question in previous threads.  Please refer to your previous threads for responses. Thanks.

No this is someone else

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10 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

I’ll add him on Snapchat and he won’t say anything? What’s the point in trying to add me on socials ?

I don't think this merits much analysis—or, really, any analysis—but here you are asking for some so I'll give it a go. 

While I doubt any of this is thought out on his end, probably he wouldn't mind if you said something, just as probably you wouldn't, like, totally mind if he said something. Alas, this is one thing social media can do: makes people skittish, passive, clumsy, and lacking in basic skills of connecting with humans while providing the faintest whiff of contact to quell a pinch of loneliness, horniness, or some combination of the two. 

Or, put another way: really not something to dwell on. 

 

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You've asked this exact same question several times. I don't know what else we can tell you that hasn't already been said.

You say you're very attractive and get a lot of attention from men. It makes no sense for you to continually fixate on one or two who are acting weird or who play silly games.

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13 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

Why does a ex fling that I only went on one date with which ended in us ghosting each other, keep trying to add me on social media? He’s been requesting to add me for several months. I’ll add him on Snapchat and he won’t say anything? What’s the point in trying to add me on socials ??? Every month ? Even though I remove him? 

The point is you're providing him with an audience, and participating in his little game by adding him on one social media site, but not the other.

As long as you play directly into his hand, this will continue. Also, and not to sound harsh, you have the ability to end this by finding a way, if not you'll find an excuse

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2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

You've asked this exact same question several times. I don't know what else we can tell you that hasn't already been said.

You say you're very attractive and get a lot of attention from men. It makes no sense for you to continually fixate on one or two who are acting weird or who play silly games.

This is not the same guy 

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7 minutes ago, Jessie_ay said:

This is not the same guy 

I understand, that's why I said "one or two".

Asking us over and over why these weird guys act weird isn't going to get you any answers.

And that doesn't explain why you choose to fixate on the small number of guys who play games and act weird when you say you're very attractive and get lots of attention from men. Ignore the follow requests or deny them. That takes, what, a few seconds?

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26 minutes ago, Jessie_ay said:

I did he’s makes new accounts 

When you block, you also need to delete and block ALL the entity's contact forms (phone, email, etc.) and ALL his people from ALL your social media, contact lists, devices and messaging apps.

Social media is basically a data-mining algorithm, so when there is still a common link, they'll keep showing up. Do you think it's magic that all social media has "people you may know" features?

Basically he's bored. Anyone who spends this much time checking their social media has no life.

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23 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I understand, that's why I said "one or two".

Asking us over and over why these weird guys act weird isn't going to get you any answers.

And that doesn't explain why you choose to fixate on the small number of guys who play games and act weird when you say you're very attractive and get lots of attention from men. Ignore the follow requests or deny them. That takes, what, a few seconds?

Okay your not obligated to give your opinion are you? You don’t have to comment! 

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Do you feel, from the collective thoughts offered here, that you have a better understanding of this? 

Me, personally? I'm kind of a believer that social media often turns adults into children by creating platforms that reward a lack of impulse control. Go to an elementary school and you'll see boys and girls doing silly thinks to get each other's attention: little shoves on the blacktop, say, or while standing in line in the cafeteria. Once they get the attention they don't know what to do with it, and kind of shirk away, since they're acting on primal instinct and nothing more. 

Facebook, in a long ago incarnation, brought this back to adults in the form of the "poke." Bored, you scrolled through Facebook and poked people you once knew, kinda knew, hooked up with after a Jell-O shot, flirted with two jobs ago, whatever. Now people "poke" by following, maybe dropping a random emoji on a pic or story. Whether you think this is compelling or juvenile is your call to make, but it's not really a great mystery. 

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38 minutes ago, Jessie_ay said:

Okay your not obligated to give your opinion are you? You don’t have to comment! 

No, but pretty much the consensus has been that it's not worth wondering and worrying over. And none of us know if or what he wants from you. Likely some attention, but who knows?

You hold all the power. Delete the follow requests and go on with your day. Unless, of course, you're hoping he asks you out again or something. Do you want to go out with him again?

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3 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

I have ! He added me by phone number 

You remind me of this girl I once dated. I knew she clearly wasn’t over her ex even thou years had past. To be honest he wasn’t even that special of a guy, he worked out more then most and was a gifted athlete but the reality was that he was and is a drug dealer who peaked in his twenties when other guys were getting their life together.

She met him and when she was really young and impressionable. I think she had issues in general opening up to people, and she really opened up to him. Alas, he cheated on her and eventually stalked her on social media, while still pursuing other women.

For some reason she obsessed over this guy for years, thinking he was the one. Really it was a combination of tunnel vision and ego. If she just realized that she was nothing special, her ego wouldn’t have been that damaged. She elevated herself to such a status and wondered how anyone could ever cheat on someone like her, someone special.

Clearly, they have to be a god if they could even hope to get away with that behavior. Her ego wouldn’t allow her to simply walk away. So she got stuck in a loop, both realities couldn’t be true. Either he cheated and she was just another average girl who he quickly moved on from.

Or they were this power couple that had a small falling out and he was eventually going to fix up his act and confess his sins so she could forgive him. 

Fyi, it was never the latter, that’s just something she told herself to deal with the hurt and trauma.

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