Online girlfriend wanted space but we both failed to communicate

Reduced-heat · May 5

We was dating for a year and the connection was magnificent! We spent so much time together and was super affectionate and was planning to meet but over time she became more cold as we would sometimes fight but we always appreciated each other. Mostly we had a big argument over her friends and I was upset and thought that she was monkey branching or building a emotional connection with someone else and that was the reason and she always said I was controlling but I feel like she was projecting. The last we had was about her lying to me so I just to leave because I felt that there was no reason lie even though we fought.

I still care about her and I don't hate her at all. She was my first relationship and I learned so much about my self and her. I would mostly like to talk to her again but im blocked on everything she told me that she wanted space but it was when we was arguing. we both made mistakes and im looking to improve

Edited May 5 by Reduced-heat

EitherDare0 · May 5

I will be honest, I do not know anything about an online significant other.

So you two have never met? My only advice would be to NOT only internet date. Meet ladies in real life, that can fulfill your needs and be there. You really should not be fighting with an internet GF.

I would say let that one go, you learned more about yourself, Improve who you are and meet women in the real world, as scary as that can be.

Wiseman2 · May 5

1 hour ago, Reduced-heat said:

im blocked on everything she told me that she wanted space but it was when we was arguing.

Even though you got attached a, cyberrelationship where you never met is a frustrating and unhappy place to be. Be careful of catfish and scammers.

You dodged a bullet. Now you are free to step away from the screen and enjoy life.

Do you work? Go to school? Live with parents?

Get involved with clubs groups, volunteer, get involved in sports fitness and better health. Make friends.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting single local women in person.

Rose Mosse · May 5

Back it up a little. You're mentioning that you felt she was monkeybranching. How so? Or what gave you that impression?

Building a relationship based on trust is difficult over long distance, especially with someone you've not met before. Where are your trust issues also stemming from?

It may be important to take note because it's preventing you or may be holding you back from meeting women locally in person. If you're afraid of an aspect like trust in a relationship, finding relationships online or virtual relationships may have felt more like an option to you. The reality sadly is that it's only pushing you further into that cocoon, lacking trust or unable to trust others.

MissCanuck · May 5

Eventually, cyber relationships lose their novelty and one or both parties realize that it's not really a fulfilling way to "date."

It sounds as though it reached its inevitable end for her. I'm sorry you're hurting, OP, but it's best to let this go.

smackie9 · May 7

Cyber relationships are 20% reality and 80% fantasy. When you have no ability to be together physically, your imagination fills in the void, making it feel real. It's not and all it is is a dopamine high. After awhile is wears off, and yer done. It's time to move on because there is no substance, just a lot of air. Cut your losses because it's done. Your best experience is being with someone irl.

Batya33 · May 7

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

Cyber relationships are 20% reality and 80% fantasy. When you have no ability to be together physically, your imagination fills in the void, making it feel real. It's not and all it is is a dopamine high. After awhile is wears off, and yer done. It's time to move on because there is no substance, just a lot of air. Cut your losses because it's done. Your best experience is being with someone irl.

I think it's 100 percent not a romantic or dating relationship if it's 100% online.

limichelle · May 8

I’m sorry this is happening.

I too was once in a cyber relationship. In fact he and I talked for a year. He lived far away in another State. Finally he came out to visit. I met him and saw not only was there no chemistry. It quickly popped the bubble of fantasy real fast! He was nothing like how he portrayed himself to be over text. He was aloof, cold and stuck up. Where as over text he was warm, funny, and humble.

You can see how cyber is not good take on reality.

I advise dating someone you can hang out physically with.

SherrySher · May 8

On 5/5/2022 at 10:47 AM, Reduced-heat said:

We was dating for a year and the connection was magnificent! We spent so much time together and was super affectionate and was planning to meet but over time she became more cold as we would sometimes fight but we always appreciated each other. Mostly we had a big argument over her friends and I was upset and thought that she was monkey branching or building a emotional connection with someone else and that was the reason and she always said I was controlling but I feel like she was projecting. The last we had was about her lying to me so I just to leave because I felt that there was no reason lie even though we fought.

I still care about her and I don't hate her at all. She was my first relationship and I learned so much about my self and her. I would mostly like to talk to her again but im blocked on everything she told me that she wanted space but it was when we was arguing. we both made mistakes and im looking to improve

Try to find someone to date in real life, because I can promise you that a large amount of anything online is not real and difficult to tell if you'd even get on in real life.

I remember someone telling me that years back, and I was somewhat offended because I had met someone online and we felt so connected, but I eventually found out that the person I was spending time with and speaking to, was lying about so many things and basically pretended whoever they wanted to be but in real life, they weren't any thing like they had told me.

Meeting someone online is a good start, for sure, but make sure to try and meet them for an actual date in real life within a couple weeks.

It's vastly different than online and so much better.

Edited May 8 by SherrySher