Bf going to his friend's friend's birthday- just need an outside perspective

[whitesand3]

Thank you everyone for your responses, I appreciate you all taking the time to write these. We spoke about the situation properly again, and I apparently misunderstood everything. 

The girl he met has the same name as the photographer I was talking about. It's actually another girl, not the photographer at all 🤦🏽‍♀️- he had been speaking to this girl through social media (something I'm not comfortable with,she's a random girl, and from what I know, not an influencer or anything of the sort), he was out one night, and they were messaging and realised they were near eachother, so he told her to come meet him at the club he was at... 

I'm not too sure if that's the first time they met, or if she's friends with one of his mates, I keep misunderstanding situations or forgetting what he has told me it seems. 

Anyway, she's the one that then organised his birthday party as she knew the club owner, I thought it was the photographer that did this whole time. 

To answer some of you-He caught covid during his actual birthday, so this was done a couple weeks later.  Me and him never celebrated his birthday alone, but that was more because of me (that's another story).

Getting back to the party, which well is tonight, and he has gone, despite me expressing how I feel... when he met this girl at the night club, he met one of her friends too, that's the birthday party he's at now. 

We briefly spoke earlier, and he told me that they're just friends, he just likes their vibes, and told me not to worry and that I should trust him.

Having misunderstood the whole situation because of the confusion of names, I'm not entirely sure how to feel. 

 

 

[DarkCh0c0]

23 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

he had been speaking to this girl through social media (something I'm not comfortable with,she's a random girl, and from what I know, not an influencer or anything of the sort),

That should tell you everything.

You deserve healthy committed partner. Instead you have someone going with an instagram stranger to a bday party?

OP when will enough be enough for you? You'll just let him walk all over you like this? For 5, 10, 15 years?

23 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

I apparently misunderstood everything. 

I honestly believe he's partially not sharing all info and being a bit ambiguous about details on purpose.

He knows you're not comfortable with this, yet he doesn't give 2 cents about your feelings.

I don't understand... Why are you still with him? What's such a catch about him or this relationship?

Edited May 7 by DarkCh0c0
Typo

[boltnrun]

40 minutes ago, whitesand3 said:

I keep misunderstanding situations or forgetting what he has told me it seems.

Is this what he says or what you say?

I too kept trying to find excuses to stay with my ex who had different women all over the city.  I tried to deceive myself.  But, you know, it never works.  Just because you don't want to believe something doesn't make it untrue.

Do you want to be your own best friend or your own worst enemy?  Is he more important to you than you are?  Is he worth everything you have to put yourself through in order to try to "keep" him?  Is him being an extremely good looking "model" the reason you're trying so hard to hang onto him?

It would be a shame for 9 more years to go by and you find yourself in this exact same situation.

[Batya33]

So you mean it's even worse than you thought -he's going to a party with some random woman to a club and he's also making up some wild story about how you got the names wrong? Huh? If they're just friends -these random strangers he recently met -why aren't you invited?

[catfeeder]

6 hours ago, whitesand3 said:

Having misunderstood the whole situation because of the confusion of names, I'm not entirely sure how to feel. 

 

Yeah, gaslighting tends to have that effect on people who put up with it.

So this dude has no career reason as a cover for dating this other woman or for not taking you to his birthday party... and you're not clear how you feel about that?

If you want to stick around for this garbage, you can do that--it's not against the law. It's just not going to get you any closer to the kind of relationship you want and deserve. It's a way of keeping yourself in the dark so that you can't see clearly that this guy is full of crap.

[MissCanuck]

I don't see how his weird (and rather implausibly convenient) story about this being a random woman with the same name makes this any better, OP. 

Why are you still with him? 

He takes you for a fool, girl. 

Edited May 8 by MissCanuck

[smackie9]

His behaviour and reasoning for all this is so inappropriate. None of what he has told you is acceptable.