Jump to content

How to handle mothers/fathers day after my sister's death?


Recommended Posts

I'm 26, my younger sister (23) overdosed and died about 6 months ago. It's been very traumatic for the whole family obviously.

I'm someone who has a hard time being sentimental or emotional in general, especially with my parents. And this will be the first mothers day and fathers day since her passing and I am DREADING it honestly.

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My heart goes out to you for your loss of your sister, and I'm holding you in my thoughts.

How has your family celebrated these holidays in the past--with diners and together-time, or more like cards or gifts during otherwise normal days of crossing paths?

I ask, because how I'd handle these days would depend on what your family considers traditional in your household?

Do you live with your parents? How sentimental are they? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, Spicydicey449 said:

I'm 26, my younger sister (23) overdosed and died about 6 months ago. 

Sorry this happened. Take care of yourself. Look for bereavement support groups. Even see if Nar-Anon would help.  So there's support for grieving and there's support for families of addicts.

Edited by Wiseman2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm assuming they have been good parents to you. This is a day to honor that, so do make it special. My mother has passed but my father is still alive. I've always gotten them a card and made them a special breakfast (restaurants are usually way to busy on those days).

It's okay to speak of those from the past, and is often welcomed by everyone who loved that person when it's a good memory, i.e., "I'm especially missing (name) today. How we used to XYZ."

Everybody's life has value and meaning, and to remember the good, keeps them alive in spirit.

It's tough to be vulnerable and emotional, but often better than bottling things up. With mother's day nearing, I re-read what I wrote about her on her memorial page this morning and got teary eyed. A normal part of life, and there shouldn't be any shame or feeling bad about any of the emotions you have.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Each family's dynamics are different so what is appropriate in one family would seem out-of-place or awkward in another family.

In that spirit . . . 

I can tell you what happened in my family when my oldest daughter was murdered 4 years ago.  The remaining kids went all out on my birthday and Mother's Day and did more than was typical.  Even though it wasn't something I expected or encouraged, it was nice and it was appreciated by me.  But then, a couple years down the road on a birthday of mine, I was reading the birthday card and looking at my kids' signatures and all I could think about was the name that was missing.  I didn't want them to think they did anything wrong (because they definitely didn't) so I didn't mention that I had been upset because that's my problem, not theirs.

Have you become closer as a family since your sister's death?  Or have you pulled apart?  Or some level in between?  Only you can gauge the temperature of your family and what seems natural and what seems unnatural/insincere.  Do what you're comfortable doing, and say what you're comfortable saying.  And if that ends up being nothing, so be it.

And please accept my condolences.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, waffle said:

I can tell you what happened in my family when my oldest daughter was murdered 4 years ago.

Oh, Waffle, I'm so very sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually (Guide To Building Her Interest And Sexual Attraction)
      Learn how to make a woman want you sexually! In today's video we're talking about sexual attraction and how you make a woman want you! We're going to be discussing some useful tips you can put to work to get a woman interested in you and building that sexual desire. Often men think they know exactly what women want, men in sports cars with big houses a big wallet and a bad boy attitude. This might be what the ladies want in movies but not in real life it's very different. To know what a lady wants you need to understand what you need to do to make her want you sexually. Imagine if you knew the secret formula to do this, the one that tells you exactly what women want sexually. The formula would let you know exactly what you need to do to get a woman to fall into your arms, sounds too good to be true right? Well it's not! It's as easy as being mindful of your own behaviour and adopting steel-proof boundaries. Want to know some more? Well don't move an inch.

       
      • 0 replies
    • How to know when he's really fallen in LOVE
      You’re falling in love with your man deeper every day, but you don’t know if he feels the same way for you. It’s natural to want to know his feelings for you. What happens when he doesn’t say it or he’s not the type to say that? His actions tell you he loves you, but you could be wrong, right? So how do you know when he’s really in love with you? It’s not always so easy, but it’s not impossible either!

       
      • 0 replies
    • 6 Psychological Secrets of Attraction
      Knowing whether or not someone is “into you” can be incredibly difficult if they don’t explicitly say it. In this video, we will be looking at some psychological secrets of attraction.

       
      • 0 replies
    • This Healing Mindset That Helps Overcome Trauma Symptoms
      If you grew up with neglect and abuse, you've needed time to talk about what happened, and how parents and others treated you. But THEN what? Once you've acknowledged the past and gained an understanding of how you developed symptoms of trauma, how can you overcome those symptoms, and move forward with building a happy and fulfilled life? In this video I teach about the two general categories of comments I see on my channel, and what that suggestions about the commenter's readiness to heal.

       
      • 0 replies
    • "I Want A Girlfriend" Do THIS First
      I want a girlfriend. Have you ever found yourself thinking "I want a girlfriend" but you're not quite sure if you're actually ready for one? Before you go about doing anything else it's important to make sure that you actually need a girlfriend right now.

       
        • Like
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...