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How to handle mothers/fathers day after my sister's death?

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I'm 26, my younger sister (23) overdosed and died about 6 months ago. It's been very traumatic for the whole family obviously.

I'm someone who has a hard time being sentimental or emotional in general, especially with my parents. And this will be the first mothers day and fathers day since her passing and I am DREADING it honestly.

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My heart goes out to you for your loss of your sister, and I'm holding you in my thoughts.

How has your family celebrated these holidays in the past--with diners and together-time, or more like cards or gifts during otherwise normal days of crossing paths?

I ask, because how I'd handle these days would depend on what your family considers traditional in your household?

Do you live with your parents? How sentimental are they? 

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10 hours ago, Spicydicey449 said:

I'm 26, my younger sister (23) overdosed and died about 6 months ago. 

Sorry this happened. Take care of yourself. Look for bereavement support groups. Even see if Nar-Anon would help.  So there's support for grieving and there's support for families of addicts.

Edited by Wiseman2
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I'm assuming they have been good parents to you. This is a day to honor that, so do make it special. My mother has passed but my father is still alive. I've always gotten them a card and made them a special breakfast (restaurants are usually way to busy on those days).

It's okay to speak of those from the past, and is often welcomed by everyone who loved that person when it's a good memory, i.e., "I'm especially missing (name) today. How we used to XYZ."

Everybody's life has value and meaning, and to remember the good, keeps them alive in spirit.

It's tough to be vulnerable and emotional, but often better than bottling things up. With mother's day nearing, I re-read what I wrote about her on her memorial page this morning and got teary eyed. A normal part of life, and there shouldn't be any shame or feeling bad about any of the emotions you have.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

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Each family's dynamics are different so what is appropriate in one family would seem out-of-place or awkward in another family.

In that spirit . . . 

I can tell you what happened in my family when my oldest daughter was murdered 4 years ago.  The remaining kids went all out on my birthday and Mother's Day and did more than was typical.  Even though it wasn't something I expected or encouraged, it was nice and it was appreciated by me.  But then, a couple years down the road on a birthday of mine, I was reading the birthday card and looking at my kids' signatures and all I could think about was the name that was missing.  I didn't want them to think they did anything wrong (because they definitely didn't) so I didn't mention that I had been upset because that's my problem, not theirs.

Have you become closer as a family since your sister's death?  Or have you pulled apart?  Or some level in between?  Only you can gauge the temperature of your family and what seems natural and what seems unnatural/insincere.  Do what you're comfortable doing, and say what you're comfortable saying.  And if that ends up being nothing, so be it.

And please accept my condolences.

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7 hours ago, waffle said:

I can tell you what happened in my family when my oldest daughter was murdered 4 years ago.

Oh, Waffle, I'm so very sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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