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How can I get a girlfriend


Miyakutsune
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Thank you to everyone who replied trying to help me. But as of now, I've given up on love and have come to the conclusion that guys like me get left out and arnt meant to know what love feels like. I'm not saying this out of depression if anyone is wondering, I don't get depressed. But, anyway, after a life of rejection because I can't work, can't drive, can't cook and because I can't bring anything physically or financially to a gf, I have nothing to offer except  my love and evidently that's worthless alone, that said, I give up. It's not worth spending the last dozen years of my life looking for something that will never be found. I want to try to rest the last dozen or more years of my life, not continue to feel the pain of bring told off and rejected as it's all I've ever known. I will most likely delete this account soon as well.

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11 minutes ago, Miyakutsune said:

I'm sorry about the confusion, truth is I've no idea how fat the nearest store is I know I just can't walk there and when I do get a ride  driving the speed limit which is 50, takes about 13 minutes to reach the store. And as far as religion, I'd rather be shot than deal with religion people, I have religion as to me religion is purely satanic, it has caused nothing but wars and chaos.

Not sure why you're mentioning religion.  I didn't say anything about religion.

You don't live 60 miles from the nearest store if you can get there in 13 minutes going 50 mph.  It isn't 20 miles either.  To give some perspective, it takes me about 50 minutes to go 34 miles to work. And I'm only going an average of about 40 mph due to traffic.

If someone can drive you to the store someone could drive you to a center.  Roads must go to your home if you're able to get places via car.  Search online for centers and resources, contact them and see if they have services you can use.

PS:  My cousin who has Down's Syndrome has had girlfriends.  But he makes use of services and attends events at centers specifically for people with development and intellectual disabilities.

Edited by boltnrun
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15 minutes ago, Miyakutsune said:

But, anyway, after a life of rejection because I can't work, can't drive, can't cook and because I can't bring anything physically or financially to a gf, I have nothing to offer except  my love and evidently that's worthless alone

This is Nick Vujicic

https://usustatesman.com/disability-and-destiny-nick-vujicic/

Guy who has no arms and legs due to a rare condition. Guy who even contemplated suicide as a kid because of his condition. And yet he pulled through. Finished schools, became motivational speaker, even has a wife and kids. 

What I am saying is that your own attitude brings you back. I see that you cant maybe drive due to aspergers. However that still shouldnt prevent you to pursue maybe some basic job. Heck even learning(no formal education doesnt mean you cant learn skills) and doing something more complicated. Or even learning basic cooking. Being autistic isnt the end of the world. Its not easy, but you need to try to be as functioning indivudual as possible. 

Same with dating. Pretty sure where you are based(guessing USA) they do have specialized agencies or even organizations for people with disabilities who can organize events for people like you. Its not the end of the world and you dont need to view it as such. 

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11 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

This is Nick Vujicic

https://usustatesman.com/disability-and-destiny-nick-vujicic/

Guy who has no arms and legs due to a rare condition. Guy who even contemplated suicide as a kid because of his condition. And yet he pulled through. Finished schools, became motivational speaker, even has a wife and kids. 

What I am saying is that your own attitude brings you back. I see that you cant maybe drive due to aspergers. However that still shouldnt prevent you to pursue maybe some basic job. Heck even learning(no formal education doesnt mean you cant learn skills) and doing something more complicated. Or even learning basic cooking. Being autistic isnt the end of the world. Its not easy, but you need to try to be as functioning indivudual as possible. 

Same with dating. Pretty sure where you are based(guessing USA) they do have specialized agencies or even organizations for people with disabilities who can organize events for people like you. Its not the end of the world and you dont need to view it as such. 

i have tried learning cooking and tried to get an education at doezens of locations in my life, and have been told by the people who were trying to teach me after years of trying, i have an inability to function on a level where that level of focus is needed, if i focus to hard even to cook, i start freaking out and end up having panic attacks or just shut down altogether. I cant even enjoy life at all because even alone i am plagued by thoughts of how others are out there enjoying life while im stuck at home with no friends, no car, rotting away in my prison/jail that is my home, i dread getting up just to be jelous of anyone with a life, my life is so unwanted that i usually just live off sleeping pills just so i can sleep so i can dream about having a girlfriend and enjoying life in my dreams because the dream world i live in when i sleep is better to the point i wish i could just never wake up, because when i do wake, i am reminded that i hate life so much that jealousy and death is all i think about besides going back to sleep. I am to the point where i am jelous of my aunt who took her own life. Death is much better than the complete and total isolation i have been in since 2016

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Sorry I haven't replied before but I think maybe what's been stopping you all your life is lack of support, and well, you. I say this not to be nasty but I have a lot of experience with people with mental health and disabilities because I work in this field. At the moment for example I'm supporting/looking after four people with a variety of intellectual and physical disabilities. One of them is in a relationship and one is actually married and has been with her husband for 16 years. I'll be honest, I live in Australia and now here there is a lot of financial and social support for people with disabilities and mental health. But keep in mind it wasn't always like this and many people with disabilities still managed to live a pretty happy life.

For example, one woman I care for is 44 years old. She was born with mild intellectual disability and cerebral palsy. Her arms are OK but she can't really use her legs. She walks on crutches or has to be in a wheelchair. She can't do a lot of physical things by herself like even take a shower. Australia didn't always have very good acceptance and support of people with disabilities, I'd say it's been rapidly improving but not always great. This woman went to a mainstream private school and she just had an aide in class and finished school. She has girl friends from school and goes out with them places. Twenty years ago she got a job at a warehouse/factory place for people with disabilities. She still works there. There she met her husband and she's been with him for 16 years. Her husband also has mild intellectual disability but he's a really nice guy and he takes full care of her physically basically.

I also have another 30-year-old male client. He has intellectual disability, epilepsy seizures and cerebral palsy. Twice a week he volunteers in a second hand shop, he delivers pamphlets as a job (supported by staff), goes to the gym and goes to day programmes. At one of his day programmes he actually met his girlfriend who has intellectual disability also.

Then I work with another 28-year-old girl who is basically non verbal and has bladder and bowel problems. She volunteers in a kindergarten, goes to an arts and crafts class and a cooking class every week.

I just told you all this to show you that having a disability does NOT mean you are a loser and you can't do anything and you don't deserve anything. That is not true at all. You may have some challenges but I guarantee you that most people are good at something. It's quite common to be on the autism spectrum and it's not a death sentence. It doesn't sound to me like your disability is actually that severe. If I was working with you I think I'd have lots of ideas based on your skills what you could do and how you could meet people.

The main thing is you can't just sit at home and keep talking to yourself like this. "I'm a lover, I can't do anything, I have no chance". There is that saying: "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." You need to get out of there and start putting yourself out there.

You say you live in a town where there's nothing there but how can there be nothing there if people live there? Surely there are some shops or a library or something like that? You could ask some shops if you could help them out and do some volunteer work for them or something. You could also call some charities and see if they could connect you with some activities or volunteer work. You can meet friends and maybe even a girlfriend but you're actually going to have to leave your house for that. Can you get any access to a social worker?

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5 hours ago, Miyakutsune said:

 i hate life so much that jealousy and death is all i think about besides going back to sleep. I am to the point where i am jelous of my aunt who took her own life. Death is much better than the complete and total isolation i have been in since 2016

 Suicidal ideation is a medical emergency. You need to contact a mental health hotline. Someone will listen to you and help you out. Or go to an emergency room. You can't come on a forum and threaten suicide. You don't need a GF, you need immediate medical assistance.

 

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21 hours ago, Miyakutsune said:

Sorry my math is trash, I wasn't able to get any education at all and still can't due to a severe learning disorder, I tried for years but just gave up as it was costing too much money and wasn't going anywhere. Housing and mental health arnt an issue, I'm a fun guy, it's just, no one wants to even consider me in the dating world because I can't work have no education, and no exp with dating or anything related to a relationship. Sadly, I've given up on dating, I'm going to have to accept that people like me arnt meant to find love, I was born alone and will die alone. I have been getting rejected all of my life snd have never once been accepted. Yet friends overseas always yell me how easy I'd get a girlfriend overseas. Dating in america for guys like me is unfairly harsh and unfair, especially for guys with autism/asperges like me.

When you say you "can't work", could you explain why? I gave you in my post a few examples of people with disabilities I work with (but know many others) who are physically and/or intellectually disabled. One girl is actually non verbal and while she can understand you, her speech is quite poor and she mostly uses hand signs to communicate. This girl volunteers at a kindergarten, does cooking classes and art classes and she's good at it.

You said you have Asperger's. That's high functioning autism. Are you physically or intellectually disabled? Many people are on the autism spectrum and these days can live happy and fulfilling lives. 

Why do you live in the middle of nowhere? Why did you never study or work? I'm not trying to attack you but I'm honestly just wondering. If your mother or father live in a more busy town or city, you could stay with them. Get volunteer work, do a course at community college. Join some groups, whether for people with disabilities or just general ones. 

I don't know you of course but I don't think your only problem is autism. The problem is you're telling yourself you're a loser and you can't do anything. You have to actually get out of the house to even be able to speak to any women. You need to do something about your situation rather than just adamantly saying there's nothing you can actually do. Unless you are completely paralysed or brain dead yes there are things you can do.

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