My Ex Cheated on me 3 times and sent me this letter

[JyFouR]

I caught her cheating on me and going out with the guy.

I asked  and begged to her to fix our relationship -- asked her out to talk and figure out everything or where our relationship went wrong.   

Then, she sent me a letter. 

Asking sorry for everything, and it's the best for both of us that we broke up. 

She mentioned that she still couldn't figure out why she cheated a couple of times despite of my loyalty and faithfulness. 

She bid her farewell and said to forget her , that I should move forward with my life and wish me happiness as well as growth in my career. 

She said as well that she is happy and will be happy moving onwards.  

++ 

For me, it's all sudden and still in shock that our 8 years of relationship just ended. 

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Four Jj said:

it's all sudden and still in shock that our 8 years of relationship just ended. 

 Sorry this happened. Were you living together? How old is she? Cheating three times doesn't sound "sudden".

[Kwothe28]

38 minutes ago, Four Jj said:

She mentioned that she still couldn't figure out why she cheated a couple of times despite of my loyalty and faithfulness. 

Because she could. You let her back so that was a que to her that kind of behavior is acceptable. There was no consequences of it as you always took her back. Instead of just cutting her off when it started. Even now you asked what needs to be fixed. Instead of just realizing she was the problem that need to be cut off way before.

Anyway, is there any question regarding all of it?

It sucks, that is for sure. 8 year old relationship down the drain. Sorry it happened.

[MissCanuck]

I think this letter was to soothe her own guilt for cheating on you, as well as to make it clear that the door is permanently closed. 

It is going to be tough, but it really is for the best that you continue to work on letting this go. The relationship had run its course and she chose the most disrespectful and selfish way of getting out. 

Hang in there, OP. 

[Lambert]

it doesn't feel like it right now but she did you a favor.  Now you have to be strong for yourself and start working on you and your life. 

It's tough and you'll go through a lot of emotions but in the long run, hopefully you will learn to love yourself enough to set boundaries with people. Cheating, lying, $abuse, in any form, are deal breakers.

It does not matter what a person has going for them or what potential you think they or the relationship might have in the future or what they did in the past that was good. The only thing that matters is how they treat you right now- with respect and kindness. 

No one is so great that you owe them the allowance to damage you. 

 

[Rose Mosse]

18 hours ago, Four Jj said:

I caught her cheating on me and going out with the guy.

I asked  and begged to her to fix our relationship -- asked her out to talk and figure out everything or where our relationship went wrong.   

Then, she sent me a letter. 

Asking sorry for everything, and it's the best for both of us that we broke up. 

She mentioned that she still couldn't figure out why she cheated a couple of times despite of my loyalty and faithfulness. 

She bid her farewell and said to forget her , that I should move forward with my life and wish me happiness as well as growth in my career. 

She said as well that she is happy and will be happy moving onwards.  

++ 

For me, it's all sudden and still in shock that our 8 years of relationship just ended. 

Let the shockwaves pass and give yourself some time to let things sink in. She has to live with herself and her choices and I think that’s worse. You get to move forwards freely and find a better partner and fresh start.

[JyFouR]

Thank you! I am grateful for all your responses.  
 

[Wiseman2]

51 minutes ago, JyFouR said:

 our relationship ended badly, I still feel like she deserve to receive a response from me.  

Someone who kept cheating on you and treated you badly doesn't "deserve" anything.

Delete and block her and move forward for good.

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, JyFouR said:

I feel like I should respond to her letter as a respect.

She didn't have the respect to not cheat on you, so I say to heck with being "respectful" to her by replying. 

I would ignore her. 
 

[DarkCh0c0]

2 hours ago, JyFouR said:

Will it be much better to ignore it and do nothing and just focus on myself?

Yes. Discard the letter. Keep going on your lane and don't look back.

You're probably very vulnerable after this break up, so best to limit contact with her as much as possible to grieve properly and move on.

[EternalOptimis]

MissCanuck and Lambert are right on the money. Re-read their original replies.

Better off without her.

 

Debateably not always true, but in this case definitely is... : "Once a cheater, always a cheater"

 

[WalterSobcha]

Sorry about that, but yes, discard her, block her, and focus on moving on.

[smackie9]

People simply lose interest in a relationship over time, but don't realize it until they meet someone that makes them feel alive, excited, etc. Then they are confused unsure about this new feeling. That's why some step out to test the waters to be sure they want to move on. She made her decision to move on. It's a rough thing to go through for sure. I hope you are feeling a little better, and are spending more time looking forward to a new chapter in your life. One cycle end, and other one starts. 

[adviceplease2]

She's been over you for years it sounds like.  Take some time, work on yourself, find a hobby.  She didn't want you, don't waste your feelings on her anymore.  There will be a woman that will want you, but get comfortable with yourself for a bit.

[lostandhurt]

It is okay to be sad or even miss her but you need to accept that the person you thought or wished she was is not who she really is.  She is a liar and a cheater that didn't truly love or respect you.

  What you feel is the emptiness and the loss of what could have been or what you had imagined your life to be with her in it but now that all those dreams have been ruined with her betrayal you need to accept that it is over, accept that she is not the one for you and most of all accept do what is best for you.

  Focus all your energy and time on you.  Stay super busy getting back to all the things that got left on the sidelines while you dated her.  Old friends, hobbies, interests and family suffer neglect so reach out and grab all those things so your life is full and joyful.  In time the scars will fade and when you are ready you can think about adding someone new to your life.

  I know how you feel, I have been there and the people telling you she did you a favor are right as can be.  Learn from all this so next time you make better choices with the information you have.

Best wishes

 Lost

[SooSad33]

Many good responses here.

It may take YOU some time to see clearly as you're all jumbled up with confusion & emotions.

But you do NOT owe her anything.  She's cheated on you, she deserves nothing more!

Self respect & be strong now.. If you feel that 'need' to reach out to her, go do something.. or write all you want to say in a journal. I've done that sooo many times!  I get it out another way... It all takes time.  Time to accept and heal.

be easy on yourself, I know the pains 😕 .