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Am i overthinking things re is he into me?


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There's a guy that's just come back into my life. Known him since i was 14 or so, apparently i was his first love and according to him i am his favorite (whatever that means). He has told me he likes me and thinks i'm amazing, beautiful, all that kinda stuff. He lives about a 9 hour drive away from me and flys down to where i live frequently.

We had been mainly chatting online and via text for some time - about 4 months, i was pretty sure of where i stood with him and how he viewed me (romantically)by what he said in these online/text convos. He asked me a few times if i was interested in going up to visit him. Personally i preferred him to come here. Had phone calls as well. There was flirtation at all times, more on his part than mine, i am more reserved.

Finally he came into town (hadn't been happening, for no particular reason), and we arranged to meet up. I went to his place (i was fine with that as i already know him). I was there about 5 hours, we had no problems keeping the convo going, all good. On arriving there, he gave me the biggest longest hug, and on leaving same again - the type where you have your full body pressed against someone, arms around my waist slowly moving up and down my back. Once outside (waiting for cab), same kinda hug again, and he kissed me a couple of times, not full on french kissing but nice prolonged closed mouth kisses (defo not how you'd kiss friends normally), and asked when he could/would see me again and that he hoped it would be soon. Exchanged a couple of texts during the week, but he didn't ask me out, i wondered if that was something i should worry about but eventually just asked him via text if he wanted to get together soon again to which he said yes and we sorted out a date and time, talked to him on the phone a couple days after that before 2nd date, a little flirtation, he said he'd see me next week (2nd date).

Went over for 2nd date(?), he seemed super happy to see me and on arrival same long full body contact hugs, arms tight around my waist, squeezing, and a couple of kisses on the mouth whilst embracing. Dinner was good and again, about 5 hours or so, no issues with convo. He did make some odd comment about how i'd meet a friend of his he was telling me about, "if i decided i wanted to hang around". *** does that even mean? My response was that it depended on if he let me, to which his reply was Yes, i like you. A friend of mine thought it might be a gauging comment. I have no idea how to interpret it

Eventually he asked how we would be getting me home and that was the end of the date. Goodbye was the same as the last time, long hug and some kisses. He also makes some odd little noise when hugging me - happiness sound, i dunno. Some random comment about how we should/could do this regularly, followed by a comment about getting the neighbors' talking, seeing him kissing a blonde girl (me) on his doorstep. Odd but people say weird ***, i know i did - "see you on the dance floor or sooner" was my awesome parting line. DOH!

At time of writing this it's been 4 days and i haven't heard from him, am i obsessing over nothing? Should i be concerned? It's not entirely unusual that 2-3 days go by without us texting each other and to be fair, i haven't contacted him either. It didn't really concern me before but now it does because i actually like him, and i'm getting in my head over things. The rhythm of our text/online communication for the most part is the same, it may have slowed a little and become slightly less flirtatious since meeting IRL but i put that down to no longer just having to rely on online/text comms.

I'm also wondering why he's not "tried it on" yet beyond the kisses/hugs, not that i necessarily want it to be a one and done thing. Is it possible that it could be because he actually likes me? Or should i take how it's playing out another way. I also wonder if my weird ass farewell comment and my not contacting him could lead him to believe i'm not that interested.

He has a LOT going on, mentioned feeling overwhelmed, and also has his young son F - Sun, i tend to not contact him then as i don't want to intrude on that but we have communicated on those days as well.

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18 minutes ago, Halo3six said:

There's a guy that's just come back into my life. He lives about a 9 hour drive away from me and flys down to where i live frequently.

 he came into town . he said he'd see me next week (2nd date).

Went over for 2nd date(?).

How did it come about that you reconnected? Who contacted whom?

How old is he? Are either of you in relationships?

If he lives 9 hours away and "came into town" how is it you were at his place?

What is your interest in long distance and drive-by dating?


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If you feel comfortable having dates where you go to his place and get sexual then absolutely you reach out.  This time plan a date in advance in public where you do an activity, maybe get some outdoor time etc. -you've made yourself available where all he has to do is open the door to his home and you're ready to hook up.  He need not plan anything expensive but it's odd that he thinks you're so special and he hasn't planned anything.  Do you think he's hiding you in case he is seen out with you and his spouse or girlfriend find out somehow?

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