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Why Do Selfies Don't Work, Or Work Very Poorly On Dating Apps?


KlearKut
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I found that If I use a selfie on dating apps, I get little to no likes...

However If I use  full body photo, or one which shows my torso... and especially If use a bright colored background, will give more likes, raising the likelyhood of matches.

Also found that most girls on my region pay little to no attention to the bio. They only care about the first picture.

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3 minutes ago, KlearKut said:

 . . . found that most girls people on my region dating apps pay little to no attention to the bio. They only care about the first picture(s).

Fixed that for you.

I suspect they'd be more inspired to read the profile if you placed your income/financial status in it.  I'm not being facetious; that will get their attention more than your pics will.

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Selfies are too lazy in mu opinion. And you can do editing easily on selfies more than normal pictures. And if one posts or puts selfies only then this idea comes to mind “They don’t have a fit body.” These are not my opinions by the way but what I’ve heard from people around me who use dating apps. I never used one so I can’t really tell my experiences.

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When I did online dating sites for about 5 years I used 4 photos.  One was full body. I supplied my height and weight.  Described myself (accurately) as slim and petite.  I looked at men's photos in this way- I couldn't be repulsed by their physical features.  I also was turned off by photos with cars, photos in tight clothes/bathing suits.  I didn't date men with long hair or tattoos (friends- sure, dating -no).  

I didn't look at income or financial status.  I did look for financial stability, well educated, employed in a profession or career.  Just like me.  And wanting marriage and family.  I also was turned off by any focus on looks/sex in the profile.  So, a lot of different things.  But I was on dating sites for only one reason - marriage and family. And I was a woman not a "girl."  Perhaps "girls" on dating sites who are looking for something more casual would focus on photos and financial status more because of different goals.

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20 hours ago, KlearKut said:

I found that If I use a selfie on dating apps, I get little to no likes...

What apps are you using? Are you messaging the women who like your profile? Get a friend to take a couple of good pics of you outdoors with a nice shirt, haircut, etc. at least one close up and one full length.  Selfies are poor quality.

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I don't think it matter as to the why they don't work as well only that you realized this and now can use pics that get you better responses which after all isn't that the point?

 If you think about selfies they tend to hide more than they show.  When you view a woman's profile and you see the classic above the head looking down selfie that only shows their face what do you think to yourself?  I think "what are they hiding?"  Now if there are a few full body pics then a few selfies are fine but if all you have are selfies then they cannot get a full picture of what ALL of you looks like. Handsome guys with a huge beer belly are everywhere...

 Do what works for you and keep refining your profile.  The bio is important once you get their attention (at least to the genuine women) so keep it simple but sincere.

  Lost

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Back when I had the poor judgment of trying out dating sites, I never posted pictures and it was the smartest thing I ever did.  I am positive most thought I was hideous and I was more than okay with them thinking that.  I used it as a way to weed out the picture collectors and the ones just looking to stick their __________ in a hottie.  Sure, half of the messages I got called me a F-ing B in the intro message because how could they know if I was F-able if I wouldn't post a picture, but I probably don't need to mention that it worked in my favor because I love it when the trash takes itself out.  I would spend a half hour or so blocking all those losers and what was left was the guys who had actually read my profile and were willing to chat with me based on that.  They ended up--for the most part--being nice, intelligent (knew how to spell, imagine that) and just generally a cut above the vermin on there.  Good pictures are completely meaningless but good spelling and grammar make me swoon.  I didn't end up meeting all of them before bailing on OLD altogether but the ones I did meet were all (or the vast majority were) perfect gentlemen even if we didn't click in the romantic way.  I gave them credit for taking a chance and absolutely none said they were disappointed--they said the opposite, actually, and a couple of them I'm still in contact with.

I really, seriously question the judgment of women (and people in general) who post public pictures on these sites for rapists and other sex offenders/general felons to evaluate (yes they are on the sites, don't be naive, I inadvertently talked to one after he mistakenly gave me his real name).  Heck I won't even post pictures on social media, so on dating sites where you have absolutely no way to set any of your information to private?  You want predators stroking off to your pictures and recognizing you in the grocery store?  That's a great big Hell No.   

AshMad doesn't do pictures (I think?) for obvious discretion reasons and last I heard they were still going strong.

Edited by waffle
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I was ok with a man sending me his photo after.  Some men had jobs where for example they didn't want their students or clients to see them online.  As a woman I knew I had to post photos to get any real responses and I wasn't worried about being seen on a dating site.  I did not meet men who refused to send me a photo.  I did do personal ads in the 80s/90s and often met with no photo -sometimes we mailed each other photos!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Whether it's a photo on a dating app or someone looking at you irl, it's all the same...visual attraction is always first. Don't tell me the photo isn't the reason why you read their bio. jeez. It's normal, it's human nature. You don't go over to a person you see not attractive to you and ask them for their number do you? of course not, so why would it be any different on a dating app. We all did it or do it....try to look our best to attract. Is it competitive..hell ya, but it's always been that way. Just accept it the way it is and go forward making your situation better with what you have. #$%^&*@ about it does nothing for you.

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