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"Do You Consider Yourself An Open-Minded Person?"


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So things took a weird turn, after acting cold/distant, my GF became, like before, sweet/romantic/sexual...

Yesterday we kept texting from 11:00PM all the way to almost 3AM...

She then started asking about my past relationships/ex-girlfriends...

So I found it only natural and fair to ask about hers as well. Maybe that was a mistake.

She then explained she previously talked to 3 other guys but those didn't work out.

Aaaand... she casually namedropped some random guy... (Now I think I know who he is, we shared the same classroom in the 5th grade... ages ago now...)

Her: "Hey do you know some <guy's name here>?"

Me: "Ummm no..."

Her: "There's a <guy's name> from your town who says he studied with you..."

Me: "No, I don't think I remember him..."

Me, starting to feel uneasy: "Well, I think you found your guy LOL..."(Referring to me...)

Her: "Hmmm... Do you consider yourself an open-minded person?"

Me, now feeling even more uncomfortable...: "Of course!"

Her: "Going to bed babe, love you! 🙂 ".

 

What happened here?

 

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Mind games. She drops some other guys name, implies that maybe something is or was going on and then just leaves you hanging. For you to wonder, be jealous etc. 

Very dangerous and manipulative person. Even from the other thread I thought her date excuses are BS and that she never even went there. Get away from those kind of persons, it wont bring you good. 

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When you choose to spend your time with someone be a little more discerning.

Sadly if you’re drawn to this dynamic it may be her or another woman. Seeking dysfunctional people and relationships is your problem you need to fix or it’ll forever be this story in terms of your relationships. 

Asking about someone’s dating or past love life can be a sensitive subject. If you don’t sense that respect, don’t disclose anything and wish each other well. Go your separate ways. Don’t remain stuck in this unending loop wondering whether your partner is sincere.

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mmmmmm nah this is manipulation. She knows you are feeling uncomfortable...this is intentional. She's getting off on the subtle head games. I'm sure there is more to come like this. Calling her out on it, is going to be like sticking your hand in a hornets nest. You might want to think about walking away. 

Edited by smackie9
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2 hours ago, KlearKut said:

So things took a weird turn, after acting cold/distant, my GF became

Her: "Hmmm... Do you consider yourself an open-minded person?"

One date and one mishap does not make her your GF.

She doesn't want to be exclusive obviously since it's long distance, one date and one mix up.

Stop texting her. You're wasting your time.

She wants a chatbuddy. You're not going to get lucky on date 2 no matter what your agenda is.

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2 hours ago, KlearKut said:

What happened here?

That would be a great question to ask her.

You mention her going cold and distant, did you ever work out why?

If not, you're playing with a mind-gamer, and you're trying to politely hang in there whichever way her wind blows instead of stepping up to ask for clear communication.

You can do that if you want, it's not against the law, but a bunch of strangers can't help you navigate on the side what you should be clarifying with HER.

A good relationship can hold up to questioning--it can even thrive on it, but a lousy relationship? That's when there's one driver and a passenger who can't figure out where the nut job is going.

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