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What does it mean when a guy accepts my following request on Instagram and then removed it a few hours later?


Talita_
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I had a strange on and off relationship with one guy who always told he didn't want a relationship, but kept sending me mixed signals.
I felt something strange was going on and the situation was getting me crazy.
He said there was no one else.
If I pressured, he restrained, but when I ignored him he came closer.
Above all, we were friends and confidents. 
I know that I was a jurke many times because I liked him, but I didn't want to. 
Within one year and a half of this situation, I found out he had a girlfriend almost all the time... A girl who was a previous close friend. 
I told him he was disgusting, a rat, a *** man and that I didn't want to see is face again. He said he was sorry... 
Next day, I was so pissed and angry that I sent a message to the girl and told her everything. Then, I told him and he said that he was very sorry, admitted me that he didn't told me because he knew I won't be with him that way and begged me to let him start over with her. 
It was really hard to hear that... 
Next day we saw personally to talk and he told me that it was all over with her, that the worst thing was not being whitout her, but dealing with the fact that he hurted very much two people. 
Two months after we meet briefly to say goodbye in a peaceful and not resentful way. 
I sent him a message on new years eve and told him he better move on, fight for her if he wanted or start over again with a new perspective. 
Two months later I accidentally saw him driving from her house to work... And find out they were together again. Later that day I sent him a message wishing the best for them and that I was allrigh with it. He never answered... 
We live 70 miles away from each other and we never saw each other again. 
I know I shouldn't, but I still miss him and just wanted to be able to be a friend. 
Yesterday I asked him to follow on Instagram and he accepted, but a few hours later removed me... 
I don't no what to think. Does he hate me? Does he simply want to move on and forgot that I exist? It's resentment? 
He was a jerk, but I think he didn't because he had thoughts and he choose her over me because that was the right thing to do and because I acted like a crazy person.

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4 minutes ago, Talita_ said:

I had a strange on and off relationship with one guy who always told he didn't want a relationship

 I found out he had a girlfriend almost all the time. I sent a message to the girl and told her everything. 

Leave them alone. He was crystal clear about not wanting a relationship.

Invest your time in getting a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and meeting local, available, single men who are interest in more than hooking up.

 Have you seen the movie "Fatal Attraction"? Don't become like that stalking him/them.

Edited by Wiseman2
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I suspect he quickly realized that accepting the request was a very bad idea, given that his girlfriend would be unlikely to be understanding that he was new insta-buddies with the woman he had been cheating on her with. Nothing to do with hating you, in short. Just him experimenting with having conscience, same as his choice to not respond to your earlier messages.  

But, big picture, I think you want to work on stepping away from him, far away, as you're still hanging out on the end of a plank dropping into a black hole. This wasn't a man you were friends with and hooking up with, but someone who was cheating on two people—his girlfriend and you—by lying and lying and lying for the better part of two years. His good qualities, and the good times you shared, do not negate that. 

It sucks to get tangled up in something so ugly, I know, and there's often an instinct to find some way to be "cool" to make the ugliness of it all less potent. But it doesn't work that way, sadly. Many people, myself among them, have gotten into some swampy territory romantically. The way you remove the muck of it all is to steer clear of the swamp once you've realized it's just that. 

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51 minutes ago, Talita_ said:

I know I shouldn't, but I still miss him and just wanted to be able to be a friend. 

Why?

No, I am seriously asking. Guy kept you as a side-chick and never wanted a proper relationship. Your immediate instict should be to respect yourself and never associate with him ever again. Instead you try to make contact over and over again and blame yourself for the situation where he cheated on her with you and lied to both.

Just block, delete and forget about him.

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When you find out that the guy is a cheater, you pick up your toys and leave the playing field. What you don't do is get into the "pick me pick me" game because that makes you pretty pathetic.

As for wanting to be friends, come on. Do your friends cheat, lie to you, and stab you in the back? Again have some better standards than this.

Block and delete this loser from your life and then pull your standards out of the gutter when it comes to friends and lovers.

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9 hours ago, bluecastle said:

I suspect he quickly realized that accepting the request was a very bad idea, given that his girlfriend would be unlikely to be understanding that he was new insta-buddies with the woman he had been cheating on her with. Nothing to do with hating you, in short. Just him experimenting with having conscience, same as his choice to not respond to your earlier messages.  

But, big picture, I think you want to work on stepping away from him, far away, as you're still hanging out on the end of a plank dropping into a black hole. This wasn't a man you were friends with and hooking up with, but someone who was cheating on two people—his girlfriend and you—by lying and lying and lying for the better part of two years. His good qualities, and the good times you shared, do not negate that. 

It sucks to get tangled up in something so ugly, I know, and there's often an instinct to find some way to be "cool" to make the ugliness of it all less potent. But it doesn't work that way, sadly. Many people, myself among them, have gotten into some swampy territory romantically. The way you remove the muck of it all is to steer clear of the swamp once you've realized it's just that. 

Yes, it's been really hard to accept that this happened to me and that he is just a selfish liar. 

Honestly, I'm not sure if I really liked him that much or if I just couldn't stand the fact he didn't want anything more with me. 

 

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His girlfriend probably - very understandably - doesn't him to have any contact with you. 

You need to stop contacting him or trying to keep him in your life. Leave him alone now, so you can move on. He's not a good person. 

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9 hours ago, Talita_ said:

 

Honestly, I'm not sure if I really liked him that much or if I just couldn't stand the fact he didn't want anything more with me. 

 

This has very little to do with him and everything to do with why you would allow some cheating, lying dude's behavior define you.  Why is it that someone who lacks character is able to make you feel less than?  

Be grateful he's not your boyfriend.

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On 3/22/2022 at 9:36 PM, Talita_ said:

Two months later I accidentally saw him driving from her house to work... And find out they were together again. Later that day I sent him a message wishing the best for them and that I was allrigh with it. He never answered... 

Yesterday I asked him to follow on Instagram and he accepted, but a few hours later removed me... 
I don't no what to think. Does he hate me? Does he simply want to move on and forgot that I exist? It's resentment? 

He was a jerk, but I think he didn't because he had thoughts and he choose her over me because that was the right thing to do and because I acted like a crazy person.

Yes, he wants to move on with this girl.  There is no way she would want him to have any contact with you so he obviously had second thoughts about you following him Instagram.

Don't make excuses for him.  He played you both.  Now he wants to continue to make it work with her and she has chosen to forgiven him.  Leave them be.  Why would you want to mess around with a guy who so easily played two women anyway?  You would never be able to trust him.

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On 3/23/2022 at 12:51 AM, Talita_ said:

Yes, it's been really hard to accept that this happened to me and that he is just a selfish liar. 

Honestly, I'm not sure if I really liked him that much or if I just couldn't stand the fact he didn't want anything more with me. 

 

We tend to desire more what we can't have or is out of reach. He was kinda dangling a carrot on a stick in front of you. You reached for it and he jerked it away. Know the game, end the game. Just walk away. By coming here and talking about this jerk just makes him the winner. Be done with this and move on.

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