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Committed a HUGE 2022 Sin - but now have questions and need help


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10 hours ago, robhsdca said:

This post is most in line with what she has told me she feels and how her attraction for me has developed.  Until seeing her message to her friend, the physical attraction between the two of us was undeniable, even through physical behavior that could not be faked.  I appreciate your take here because in some ways it is what I was hoping to hear, but it also confirms what she has been telling me is how she feels could actually be real.  Thank you.

Good. I wouldn't split hairs over it. We each get to choose where (or if) we want to drill when it comes to stuff that hits us the wrong way. It's a decision, so why not operate in your own favor unless or until something undeniable prompts a more difficult direction?

I like to set my private trust meter to a neutral 5 on a 1 to 10 scale when I meet new people. From there, I observe. I allow actual and consistent behaviors to inform whether I'll want to increase my level of trust or withdraw it.

So, while it's natural to want to pull back a bit while you weigh this incident against the consistency of GF's overall behaviors over time, it's also a tight-rope walk because you don't want your fears to influence outcomes going forward.

Speaking only for myself, I just don't think I'd allow premature comments (that don't even reflect knowing anything about me yet) to rob me of the happiness I've enjoyed with someone who's been consistently generous and loving.

I hope you'll dance...

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12 hours ago, catfeeder said:

Good. I wouldn't split hairs over it. We each get to choose where (or if) we want to drill when it comes to stuff that hits us the wrong way. It's a decision, so why not operate in your own favor unless or until something undeniable prompts a more difficult direction?

I like to set my private trust meter to a neutral 5 on a 1 to 10 scale when I meet new people. From there, I observe. I allow actual and consistent behaviors to inform whether I'll want to increase my level of trust or withdraw it.

So, while it's natural to want to pull back a bit while you weigh this incident against the consistency of GF's overall behaviors over time, it's also a tight-rope walk because you don't want your fears to influence outcomes going forward.

Speaking only for myself, I just don't think I'd allow premature comments (that don't even reflect knowing anything about me yet) to rob me of the happiness I've enjoyed with someone who's been consistently generous and loving.

I hope you'll dance...

I feel like you actually "heard" me.  Thank you so much.

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